Heter meah rabbanim

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  • #2123573
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Why wasn’t it used in this case?

    A 1st In History: Woman Who Refuses To Accept Get Is Imprisoned

    Is it hard to do? What are the parameters? Can it be with shul ravs or rabbeim in Yeshiva?

    #2123731
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    Another question

    Why can’t the husband go to the jail cell and give her the גט against her will?

    #2123759
    ujm
    Participant

    Any 100 kollel yungerleit with smicha can sign a Heter Meah Rabbonim. It shouldn’t be hard to put it together, if one wants to.

    Ashkenazic husband’s cannot give a Get against the wife’s will since Cherem Rabbeinu Gershom prohibits them from doing so. Any non -Ashkenazic husband can give his wife a Get against her will. Non-Ashkenazim can also be married to multiple wives.

    #2123946
    akuperma
    Participant

    There is probably something “else” going on, probably involving assets and/or children, and some complications since any contemporary “get” involves the interplay of multiple legal systems. I doubt we have the full story, and suspect the full story is not appropriate for publication.

    #2124001
    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    The intention of the heter was for the husband (or a messenger) to literally travel all over the world to present their case and get 100 Rabonim to sign on. Even in the easiest of cases (e.g. where the wife is in a vegetative state or disappeared a number of years ago and hasn’t been seen since) the traveling itself can be cost prohibitive. In this case, where the wife clearly hasn’t disappeared and isn’t in a vegetative state, on top of the traveling the person also has to present his side of the story and the Rov will try to contact the wife who will dispute everything he says. This will make the process significantly longer if at all possible.

    Part of the cherem is that the gett can’t be forcefully given and there may be places where someone will walk into a Kollel and as 100 Yungeleit to sign on but it’s probably not universally accepted.

    #2124022
    ujm
    Participant

    Dr. Pepper,

    The Halacha regarding Heter Meah Rabbonim says it needs at least one rabbi from three countries. Most opinions say three different US States suffices for this purpose. If you want to be more careful you can get one rabbi from each Canada and Israel in addition to 98 Kollel yungerleit in Lakewood.

    Yes, air travel in the past made it more difficult to procure. I don’t suppose anyone will insist sending a horse and buggy to Toronto (or to New York, if another State suffices) for the out of state/country signatures. Many things became “easier” in Yiddishkeit due to advanced technologies.

    A HMR is not limited to the type of cases (and related thereof) that you mentioned. It is far more expansive to include any case where the husband has a reasonable reason to desire divorce whereas the wife is unreasonable in refusing.

    As far as acceptable, the only person that will need to find the issued HMR acceptable is the one rabbi that will officiate for the husband’s future marriage. Anyone else’s opinion has no bearing. (Halachicly you don’t even need a rabbi to perform a marriage.)

    #2124020
    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    How can the rabonon eliminate a get? It’s based on the fact the kedushin is invalidated from the beginning which needs a good reason and not wanting to accept a get is not sufficient.

    #2124035
    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    @ujm

    I’m definitely not the expert in this area. There are definitely more situations- I picked a simple one (e.g. where she is in a vegetative state or disappeared) and a difficult one (e.g. where she’s disputing that the marriage is over, claims everything he said is untrue and claims that for the kids sake they should stay together and each Rov needs to thoroughly investigate the case and decide if he should sign on or not). Of course there are many situations in between.

    I was under the impression that the signatories have to be in 100 different cities in 3 different countries or continents and I honestly have no idea if they each need to sign the same document in person or if an email will suffice.

    I’m not trying to nitpick your post but aside from the mesader at a future wedding (which could easily be anyone) his future wife also needs to agree that it’s valid. It would be a shame to get a heter and then get engaged only to find out that his future wife wants it done differently and he needs to start all over again.

    #2124042
    mentsch1
    Participant

    The real question here is what is the position of the rabbanut
    As I mentioned on a different thread, the Rabbanut (as of 2017) had 800 cases of get refusal with almost 60% of them being women.
    So why does the rabbanut not allow more frequent use of hmr when women are refusing?
    After all, as we discussed on a previous thread on the topic, In this day and age the cherem is treated in shaylos seforim as being minhag and many leniencies apply (I mentioned Rav Moshe allowing bachrum to sign. I do not believe you need to travel to different countries anymore)
    So they are seemingly being machmir, why?

    #2124091
    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    @mentsch1

    If I had to guess the heter was meant to be a last resort when all else has already failed. If she’s alive and well there’s still a chance that she’ll come to her senses or they’ll reconcile.

    Do you have any more information on the cases where Reb Moshe allowed Bachurim to sign a heter? I’m curious to know if it was cases where the wife refused to accept the gett or cases after the war where husbands couldn’t track down if their wives were still alive.

    #2124093
    ujm
    Participant

    It’s important to add that (by Ashkenazim) if the husband wants to divorce but the wife wants to continue the marriage, barring specific extenuating circumstances where he might be entitled to force her (in Beis Din) to accept a Get, the general rule established by Cherem Rabbeinu Gershom is that she’s within her rights to veto his request to divorce and she can legitimately force him to remain married to her.

    #2124317
    mentsch1
    Participant

    pepper
    The case in question was an institutionalized woman. Everyone learning in MTJ signed.

    I personally know a case of female get refusal where the husband got a local brooklyn BD to grant him a HMR. The wife continued to refuse the get (it was deposited at the BD) even after the husband remarried. What the exact circumstances were? why did they allow him to circumvent the cherem? I can not answer.
    But my thinking is, that once the marriage is deemed unsalvageable (and taking into account that the seforim pasken leniently on the cherem) then a hmr is an option.
    But clearly the Rabbanut is being machmir. I would love to know their criteria. It seems apparent that the criteria is not the same across the BD spectrum.

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