Hishtadlut in Shidduchim

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  • #601513
    photogenic
    Member

    I am asking this on behalf on not only myself, but for friends of mine, as well as varying opinions I have heard in the past..

    When seeking a Shidduch, I know the most important thing is Prayer. That goes without saying. Prayer doesnt only include the written text, I also see it as being real with Hashem and talking to Him in our own language. Prayer also accomplishes what Derech Hateva can not.

    Besides for that, I am working hard on making myself into a healthier person, in all areas…in Simcha, in Emunah, in relationships with others and of course Hashem, and in other areas as well. I feel that this is the most important Hishtadlus I can possibly do before I get married, since I recognize that marriage has one of the biggest potential for growth and the best I can do is come into that phase as ready and complete as I can beforehand.

    I also know that at the right time, Hashem will send the right one. Only our Neshamas know when the right time really is.

    So my question is, would you say I am doing the right amount of Hishtadlus by (in order of importance) Davening, working on myself, working on my Bitachon in area of Shidduchim, and then letting friends and family know what I am looking for and having them keep an eye out for me? I am slightly more laid back when it comes to going to Shadchanim, though I do get quite a few suggestions from married/single friends, family friends, acquaintences, etc. who know me on a deeper level. I also pretty much redated anyone who I thought was Shayich to try again, that I dated in the past. I just hope that I am doing enough.

    Thanks in advance!

    #842047
    Think first
    Member

    Ur doing just fine. And it’ll happen at that precise moment its meant to be.

    #842048
    photogenic
    Member

    Thank you, Think First. Its just hard since I am heading into my upper 20’s and my mother and some other relatives just dont think I am trying hard enough..:(

    #842049
    Think first
    Member

    Just like Hashem created you to be photogenic he also created ur mate. I’m in a similar situation and I know that no matter how old I am and no matter what people think about me doing my part, I am and I will find my bashert as soon as its meant to be. So will you. people tend to worry and start creating reasons why one hasn’t found their match. There’s a God and he has a plan for you, they don’t know when nor do you so they try to “make it happen” with their suggestions not realizing it’ll happen just when its supposed to. As far as shaddchanim, do you not want to go to them or what?

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