Honoring One’s Mother by Proxy*

One must obey their mother.

Kabed es Avicha Ves Imecha
“es” expands the concept to include more- Chazal teach us it includes a parent’s spouse (i.e. step parent) and older siblings. I don’t know any source that says that it includes other relatives. Respecting an aunt would be like any other older person who deserves respect, especially if elderly. Honoring mother would trump honoring your aunt, unless it means doing something against halacha.

So long as she isn’t instructing you to do something that is kneged halacha.

The one exception in halacha cited in Shulchan Aruch is a wife is required to obey her husband before her parents, hence on that basis a married woman is exempt from Kibud Av V’Eim unless her husband wants her to obey them.

The one exception? You yourself just mentioned 2.

1. If one is told to do something against Halacha.

2. That a married woman’s priority is to her husband.

And the married woman is not “exempt” from kibud ab v’eim. It’s only that her first priority is to her husband.

I was not asking out of ignorance. Only to point out that your absolute statement as stated, was incorrect. As they often are.

adocs: Aside from being wrong as S”A exactly says that they are “exempt”, your inane contention is as if someone told you that “You must eat kosher” and you responded “Under all circumstances? Without exception? I’m pointing out that your absolute statement as stated, was incorrect since you can eat treif for a pikuach nefesh situation.” When I told you “One must obey their mother”, that is the rule in Halacha.

Syag: Please also tell him that the Rambam (Hilchos Ishus 13:11) paskens that he should permit you to go out once or twice a month to visit your parents and/or friends, not just call them.

מקום שדרכן שלא תצא אשה לשוק בכפה שעל ראשה בלבד עד שיהיה עליה רדיד החופה את כל גופה כמו טלית נותן לה בכלל הכסות רדיד הפחות מכל הרדידין. ואם היה עשיר נותן לה לפי עשרו כדי שתצא בו לבית אביה או לבית האבל או לבית המשתה. לפי שכל אשה יש לה לצאת ולילך לבית אביה לבקרו ולבית האבל ולבית המשתה לגמול חסד לרעותיה או לקרובותיה כדי שיבואו הם לה. שאינה בבית הסוהר עד שלא תצא ולא תבוא. אבל גנאי הוא לאשה שתהיה יוצאה תמיד פעם בחוץ פעם ברחובות. ויש לבעל למנוע אשתו מזה ולא יניחנה לצאת אלא פעם אחת בחודש או כמה פעמים בחודש לפי הצורך. שאין יופי לאשה אלא לישב בזוית ביתה שכך כתוב כל כבודה בת מלך פנימה:

“Syag: Please also tell him that the Rambam (Hilchos Ishus 13:11) paskens that he should permit you to go out once or twice a month to visit your parents and/or friends, not just call them.”

oh thanks soo much! I will let him know. unfortunately, right now I am homebound, recovering from a complication of the minor surgery to have the gps chip and body cam inserted in my forehead. But I will surely let him know because they happened to be residing just outside of har nof, har menuchos to be exact, and I would love to pay them a visit.

Joseph-

Really? That’s the best you can come up with? Kosher?

Well, let’s see…

Kosher must be kept EXCEPT under the most dire of circumstances i.e. pikuach nefesh.

Kibbud av v’eim must be kept EXCEPT for fairly common circumstances i.e. married woman’s priority to her husband.

So the statement “You must keep kosher” makes sense as a standalone statement because the exceptions are pretty rare. (As would “you must keep shabbos” or “you may not eat chametz” – also with rare exception)

Whereas “you must honor your parents” has fairly common exceptions so the statement as a standalone is more glaringly misleading.

Talk about inane contentions…

It’s an amazingly strong point from the Torah about how important a wife’s obligations to her husband is that it even is stronger than her obligations to her parents. So much so that the Torah overrides her obligations of Kibud Av V’Eim in order to put her husband first. This is even though Kibud Av V’Eim is not only a d’oraisa but it is one of the Aseres Hadibros. Nevertheless she is exempt from it.