May 24, 2011 2:25 pm at 2:25 pm #597060
How many housewives/stay-at-home moms/homemakers do we have here? Share the beauty of the best and most natural job in the world with us!May 24, 2011 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm #779114
I worked most of my married life. It was NOT our plan, it was not my choice and not my intention. It is what my husband wanted. I resented it.May 24, 2011 4:17 pm at 4:17 pm #779115mewhoParticipant
desperate house fraus?
i stayed home with my kids till they were in school and then went back to work.May 24, 2011 4:24 pm at 4:24 pm #779116
And who was home for your child when he and she got off the bus?May 24, 2011 4:52 pm at 4:52 pm #779117
If I wasn’t home then they went to the neighbors. After my youngest was born I had a housekeeper.May 24, 2011 5:01 pm at 5:01 pm #779118
Was the housekeeper taking care of the children alone a frum yid?May 24, 2011 5:29 pm at 5:29 pm #779119chocandpatienceMember
Pac-Man: no need to interrogate. Aries obviously considered the matter and made a suitable decision.May 24, 2011 5:38 pm at 5:38 pm #779120
pacman- you seem to like interrogating people. i can tell you from personal experience…. I think you are just trying to get your point across and we get that…. she obviously thought about what works best for her and did thatMay 24, 2011 5:49 pm at 5:49 pm #779121
Aries indicated she resented being forced to leave the home and go to work.May 24, 2011 6:11 pm at 6:11 pm #779122
so what does that have to do with you!?!?!?!?May 24, 2011 6:17 pm at 6:17 pm #779123
It has to do with housewives.May 24, 2011 6:22 pm at 6:22 pm #779124
my DH would laugh if you called me a homemaker.
I worked for much of my married life. For my first 2 children it was veryy hard: from Flatbush, I took them by car svc,- an infant & toddler – to a babysitting service in BP, then took the express bus to Manhattan; did the reverse coming home.. for 2 weeks out of the month for a year or so. stayed home for a few years, then worked walking distance from my home when the younger two were already in school.
stopped working in 2001, but started babysitting full-time for my newborn grandson in 2004.. then another grandson.. then a granddaughter. retired again, lol, when she started school @ 2 1/2 y.o. this past Sept. but I still babysit as needed.. I have my 2 grandsons, 6 1/2 & 5 1/2 ka’h, over my house right now 🙂May 24, 2011 7:01 pm at 7:01 pm #779125
I am a SAHM (stay at home mom) this year for the first time since I got married, and I am enjoying every second!!! I went to work from the day after sheva brachos until this year, taking off 6 weeks maternity leave when each of my kids were born. B”H I had a wonderful frum babysitter all the years for my babies and preschoolers after school, and was able to be home before my school aged kids got home from school. Despite this it was heart-wrenching, and the only thing that made it worth it for me was that I enabled my husband to learn in Kollel (and then work in chinuch). I often discussed with friends in a similar situation (i.e. husband is learning, we are not “being supported” by parents or the government but rather by us wives working) that when the seminaries discuss “mesiras nefesh for Torah” they should talk less about “histapkus bmuat” and the financial sacrifices, and more about the emotional difficulty of leaving your 6 week old baby with a babysitter!!!
Due to various factors I am finally at home with my kids this year (and hopefully next as well — and then we’ll see what happens. . .), and although somehow I am just as busy as I always was, it is such a great feeling to be there all the time for my kids and my home. Former co-workers and friends keep asking me if I’m “going crazy” yet! I really don’t feel any lack of intellectual stimulation at all, and what I am doing is so meaningful.May 24, 2011 7:08 pm at 7:08 pm #779126
m in Israel~ so happy for you!! 🙂
my babysitting my grandchildren was cuz my daughter’s a full-time teacher & my son-in-law is still in Kollel (almost 8 yrs. now).May 24, 2011 8:36 pm at 8:36 pm #7791272qwertyParticipant
A shadchin once told me there are no girls who want to stay at home with kids so I shouldn’t even hope of finding it.May 24, 2011 8:42 pm at 8:42 pm #779128dunnoMember
What?? Where did she get that from??May 24, 2011 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #779129HAKOL TOVMember
i must say that you sound aggressive! i am sure that she did what was best for her at that time and in her situation!May 24, 2011 9:35 pm at 9:35 pm #779130
HT- that is what I told him before… thanks for being in it with me!May 24, 2011 10:19 pm at 10:19 pm #779131
There are many many girls who want to be a stay-at-home housewife. You need to speak to the right shadchan. This is the ultimate job of a Jewish girl and is the traditional function of a wife.May 24, 2011 10:57 pm at 10:57 pm #779132
Pac-Man time to turn the tables.
Are you male or female?
What stage of life are you, married or single?
If married, married with kids or just starting out?
If married with kids, young kids or are you marrying them off?
If marrying them off are you a grandparent yet?
Just asking. And BTW “housewife is so yesterday, “homemaker” is the correct title.May 24, 2011 11:30 pm at 11:30 pm #779133aimhabonimParticipant
Aries- I prefer “Akeres Habayis”. 🙂May 25, 2011 3:14 pm at 3:14 pm #779134
OP, sorry I missed your 2nd sentence.
I LOVED being home with my children!!! playing, reading…
my 24 y.o. son still fondly remembers sitting on my ‘baby belly’ lap @ 2 1/2 y.o. watching ‘the mister who paints’ (Bob Ross) on tv. 🙂May 25, 2011 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm #779135
if you are staying home to be with them and just watching TV why cant you have a babysitter?May 25, 2011 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm #779136
adorable~ excuse me, but where did I say I was ‘JUST watching TV’?!
the line above says: ‘playing, reading…’ … saying that my young son & I watched one show that we both enjoyed, where someone creates a nature landscape in 1/2 hr., hardly precludes us doing many more activities together. in addition ‘baby belly’ implies I was pregnant. & why then, would it mean I should have a babysitter?!
mademoiselle, I’m sorry, but you presume too much.
hope I don’t sound harsh… 🙂May 26, 2011 8:48 am at 8:48 am #779137
always here — thanks!! 🙂 I feel very lucky!
2qwerty — Wow! I certainly never heard that one before. I know many girls who would LOVE to stay home with their kids. However many are also pragmatic and realize that in today’s world it is unfortunately not always financially feasible. Even if your husband is not in Kollel or Chinuch, it is often difficult to manage on only one salary. If you have a plan to support your family without your wife working, I would think that the girls would be breaking down your door!May 26, 2011 11:42 am at 11:42 am #779138Mother in IsraelMember
I was a SAHM for years and loved it. Now I’m a WAHM and still love being home with my kids.May 26, 2011 3:06 pm at 3:06 pm #779139
Your children are inevitably hurt when their mother is not home for them full-time. There is no two ways about that.June 22, 2011 12:57 am at 12:57 am #779141EffieParticipant
Both my parents were fulltime workers simply a nessecity for yeshiva, food clothing etc.
In todays horrible economic times a wife MUST work especially if neither in laws are rich. Average NYS sallary is 30,000. Grils need to wake up and understand that if they want their children to have a yeshiva education plus all the nessecities two sallaries is a mustJune 22, 2011 1:06 am at 1:06 am #779142sheinMember
I very much disagree. The traditional home of a wife as a stay-at-home homemaker is very much viable and preferable. Understandably and unfortunately it is not always achievable, but it certainly should be every couple’s goal and ideal.June 22, 2011 9:42 am at 9:42 am #779143
shlishi — Absolutely children are “inevitably hurt when their mother is not home for them full-time.” But they are also “inevitably hurt” if the stress levels are through the roof and there are Shalom Bayis issue due to being unable to pay the bills. Every couple must make a chesbon as to which scenario is the most beneficial, and there are no simple answers.
Additionally, many people may feel that although there obviously are drawbacks to a mother working, there may be other benefits for the kids that make it worth it. My husband and I made a conscious decision that the advantages my kids would receive by living in a home where my husband was zoche to learn Torah full time would be more than the disadvantages of being with a babysitter for many hours a day as babies. Had I not been able to find a frum caring babysitter who I was comfortable with, or had my job required me to not be home when my older kids got home from school, would I have made that same decision? Possibly not. The point is there are many factors in the decision for a woman to go to work.June 22, 2011 2:33 pm at 2:33 pm #779144sheinMember
At least let us realize what we lose when we cannot be at home so that we don’t delude ourselves into thinking it is natural.
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