February 12, 2019 11:30 pm at 11:30 pm #1678483
mishloach manos have become something which I don’t think Mordechai and Esther had in mind. the focuse has bacome on the decoration; a theme; etc. etc. plus different mishloach manos for deferent people. how about going back to a simple mishloach manos: some haman tashen; fruits, a drink, and in a simple nice bag?February 12, 2019 11:55 pm at 11:55 pm #1678504
Let people have their fun.February 13, 2019 6:59 am at 6:59 am #1678518
Mordechai and Esther wanted to increase happiness and achdus among people thru mishloach manos.
The decoration, theme, etc is meant to do that. Personally, I can’t afford to send a respectable food package to 20-30 people- pastries, fruits, drinks, nice bags cost money too, even if not fancy. So I limit myself to 2-3 items, usually in some sort of easy to make home-made package. I want people to be happy with it though, so to keep it from being skimpy, I make some sort of theme that pulls it altogether. It brings a smile to people’s faces, lets me exercise my creative genes, and keeps costs down all at the same time. I think it’s actually simpler than what my Bubby used to send- 6 or so different types of homemade cake and an orange on a white paper plate wrapped in plastic, accompanied by a bottle of wine to about 50 of my Zeidy’s closest friends.February 13, 2019 9:40 am at 9:40 am #1678601
very well putFebruary 13, 2019 10:02 am at 10:02 am #1678604
I guess its all about having a balance. having a nice mishloach manos, but not overdoing it.February 13, 2019 10:03 am at 10:03 am #1678598
Winnie, would you say your Zaidy was in better financial straits than yourself?February 13, 2019 10:04 am at 10:04 am #1678608anonymous JewParticipant
Knaidlach, the libertarian says I don’t like fancy shaloach manos, so i won’t send one. A liberal/leftist ( like you) says i don’t like it so nobody should send oneFebruary 13, 2019 10:05 am at 10:05 am #1678611WhyParticipant
Raises the standards for everyone and forces people to spend money that they don’t have. If you will need מתנת לאביונים to cover your costs just to make sure your kids don’t feel inferior, then what’s the point.
A simple option fulfills the obligation, gets the message across and that’s enough.February 13, 2019 10:06 am at 10:06 am #1678657
People like to express their creativity with shaloch manos. If you dont want to, you dont have to, and no one will think less of you for doing something simple (and if they do, you have awful friends or family). To tell people not to do something because you dont want to is a bit outrages thoughFebruary 13, 2019 11:05 am at 11:05 am #1678702Uncle BenParticipant
Whitecar; Today’s spelling lesson; A gaudy Mishloach Manos that outrages some CR posters might be outrageous!February 13, 2019 11:05 am at 11:05 am #1678703
WTP: enjoy your fun and creativity, but I hope you realize that your bubby was extravagant for her time and there can be a happy medium.
My grandmothers when I was growing up sent to 10 people at most (close neighbors and family). A typical mishloach manos consisted of 2 hamentaschen, a slice of cake, a fruit (maybe two) and I think that’s it. All this was placed on a paper doily in a foil bekele with a clear cover or maybe in the foldable cardboard box with a cellophane window. And “recycling” was the norm and not something to be ashamed about.
Some people enjoy “patchkening” and it’s cute. But it shouldn’t be expected. And every family has Purim seasons they are simply too busy to do so. When people feel pressured to more than they can, whether with creativity or affordability, because EVERYBODY makes a big deal, we have to step back and refocus. Peer pressure unusually comes from within and is something to be worked on, yet way too many people are insecure and this won’t change so fast.February 13, 2019 11:06 am at 11:06 am #1678712
Jospeh, probably, but that’s not what motivated him. He was a big macher and askan and knew tons of people. He left the actual work to my grandmother, A”H who was the quintessential Jewish balabusta.February 13, 2019 11:07 am at 11:07 am #1678727
It’s not fair for there to be any single standard to which everyone is held. People who have more money should be allowed to spend it, and people who have less money or don’t want to spend the money should be allowed to spend less.February 13, 2019 11:07 am at 11:07 am #1678728
You do not fulfil the mitzvah of mishloach manos when you give a simple niggardly mishloach manos to a choshuve person, such as myself. It’s a turn off. Some will re-gift but when I get one of those, it goes right into the garbage.February 13, 2019 11:08 am at 11:08 am #1678732
I forgot to include the small botttle of grape juice in my grandmother’s mishloach manos… Now it’s complete.February 13, 2019 11:08 am at 11:08 am #1678744MenoParticipant
How do you know that Mordechai and Esther didn’t send penguin-themed shalach manos?February 13, 2019 11:29 am at 11:29 am #1678761
cherrybim: To the best of my recollection this was your first post that got me laughing.
You did well!February 13, 2019 11:29 am at 11:29 am #1678760February 13, 2019 11:42 am at 11:42 am #1678770
Maybe we still don’t know what penguins are.February 13, 2019 11:56 am at 11:56 am #1678780☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
I actually know someone doing a penguin themeFebruary 13, 2019 12:30 pm at 12:30 pm #1678794
chazal incorporated shalach manos themes
אנא שדרי ליה חוליא ואיהו שדר לי חורפאFebruary 13, 2019 12:47 pm at 12:47 pm #1678799MenoParticipant
cause they probably didnt know what penguins were in those days
That’s why it was such a clever themeFebruary 13, 2019 2:35 pm at 2:35 pm #1678884
Thank you Joseph, I try. But I think there has been a few more over the years. After all, I’m the most serious person here.
It’s just not the same anymore. And there is the thought of possible deletion, so why bother.February 13, 2019 2:39 pm at 2:39 pm #1678894YW Moderator-29 👨💻Moderator
cherrybim: When I think of deletions, you are hardly the poster who comes to mind!February 13, 2019 5:42 pm at 5:42 pm #1679358
when preparing mishloach manos, one should make a cheshbon hanefesh how much of my effort is for the sake of the mitsva, for Hashem, and how much is to show off my creativity etc. etc. so for one person, working hard on a very creative MM is an expression of doing the mitsva behidur. for someone else, most of it might be to boost their own ego. so there is no rule or standard of how a MM is supposed to look like. and only hashem knows your intentions while preparing MMFebruary 13, 2019 6:07 pm at 6:07 pm #1679386
When my 2 children got engaged B”H, 1 of the conditions was, we will send each other a very simple really cheap Mishloach Monos, e.g. A “small” chocolate arrangement, & we all stuck to it,
On my 2nd son’s Ushpizin our Mechutan sent in a huuuuge cake (ordered by a local bakery online) made into an Akeidas Yitzchok thing, (since we live overseas) we took a picture of the cake, emailed it to the Mechutonim, we cut a tiny peace to taste it, it really was revolting, we slung it right into the garbage, כן יאבדו כל אויבךFebruary 13, 2019 8:58 pm at 8:58 pm #1679420
Chymee: I hope you haven’t just offended your Mechitunim…February 13, 2019 10:23 pm at 10:23 pm #1679430
It is not an aveirah to have fun with your mishloach manos.February 13, 2019 11:05 pm at 11:05 pm #1679437
rebyidd23. yes if its fun. but unfortunately for many it’s not fun, its a lot of stress, for themselves and for the family membersFebruary 14, 2019 2:00 am at 2:00 am #1679473
Mamele dear, no, I’m pretty sure they weren’t offended, because none of us played as if we have all the money in the world to waste for Shtussim,
As mentioned, WE BOTH stuck to the policy, the money was used for far better things to marry off our children,. & as Reb yid says, it’s so much stress,February 14, 2019 3:03 am at 3:03 am #1679477
& if there were offended then just too bad, I’m not here to impress anyone, I have to look after my, & my family’s health and wellbeing,February 14, 2019 7:21 am at 7:21 am #1679505
Mammale, actually my Bubby’s MM were way simpler than the ones that they got back. My grandfather’s cronies were in a different class altogether… us grandkids loved to be their shlichim since the friends tipped really well! The advantages of being the grandkids of an askan!
In any case, I don’t get stressed out from coming up with a creative theme, my stress comes from trying to figure out what is appropriate to give my kids’ Rebbeim (needs to include a check, but for how much?) and teachers. Israelis have a whole different standard when it comes to giving MM that I have yet to figure out, and somehow I think the cute-theme thing doesn’t work. B”H I don’t have Israeli in-laws and family who might get insulted!
You can look at it this way- this is one hiddur mitzva where other people are benefiting from the time/money you invest, as opposed to an expensive lulav/esrog, silver menora, beautiful sukka, fancy seder plate set..etcFebruary 14, 2019 9:07 am at 9:07 am #1679552
‘You can look at it this way- this is one hiddur mitzva where other people are benefiting from the time/money you invest, as opposed to an expensive lulav/esrog, silver menora, beautiful sukka, fancy seder plate set..etc’.
I really like this attitude. beautiful!February 14, 2019 9:50 am at 9:50 am #1679563
Knaidlach, if people stress themselves out over something that they didn’t have to do in the first place, that’s on them.February 14, 2019 10:08 am at 10:08 am #1679606YapchikParticipant
A simple Mishloach Manos is lacking in hiddur mitzvaFebruary 14, 2019 10:59 am at 10:59 am #1679630GadolhadorahParticipant
A gift of an annual subscription to YWN is more in line with the original theme of mishloach manos (perhaps along with a virtual prune hamantaschen)February 14, 2019 11:01 am at 11:01 am #1679652
Actually, I was told by a Rav in the name of a highly respected Rosh Yeshiva and Posek that themed mishloach manos are stupid and, therefore, Assur to give.
Moderator-29, a while ago, I was pretty active in the Coffee Room and had lots of deletions. So I had to figure out how to bury my politically incorrect messages in pareve posts.February 14, 2019 11:48 am at 11:48 am #1679689
“Actually, I was told by a Rav in the name of a highly respected Rosh Yeshiva and Posek that themed mishloach manos are stupid and, therefore, Assur to give.”
Oh yeah? Well I heard directly from a super highly respected Rosh Yeshiva that themed mishloach manos are at worst a hiddur mitzva and possibly a real chiyuv (see biur halacha 695 חייב לשלוח לחבירו וכו’ – הח”א הוכיח מן הירושלמי דאם שולח לעשיר דבר פחות אינו יוצא בזה ידי משלוח מנות וכן משמע בריטב”א לפי גירסא אחת שם בגמרא. אכן ש”פ לא הזכירו דבר זה ונכון ליזהר בזה לכתחלה:)February 14, 2019 12:02 pm at 12:02 pm #1679687
Ok lets say everyone did the simple shaloch manos. Hamentashen and grape juice (and those zazas).. imagine by the end of purim you’ll have say 10-35 (depending how chosguv you are) of those small grape juices and way too much hamentashin. Now that we have themes it allows us to have a variety of items which can be eaten in a nice fasion. Soda cand and snack bags for kids snacks. Cakes and cookies and hametashin for shabbos. Choclate is good for anytime and so on. You want to keep it simple keep it simple. I wont remember who gave what anyway (or ill just give it to someone else as their shaloch manos, i dont care)February 14, 2019 12:10 pm at 12:10 pm #1679719
and @uncle ben thank you in advance for the next spelling lessonFebruary 14, 2019 3:04 pm at 3:04 pm #1679786funnyboneParticipant
Sometimes we get home made cakes. Some are good. Most get thrown out, either smashed, unsure who its from or just not tasty. Please, no home made stuff!February 14, 2019 3:34 pm at 3:34 pm #1679823
Funnybone, giving homemade stuff is the test of whether a friend trusts one’s kashrus.February 14, 2019 3:34 pm at 3:34 pm #1679814
Throwing out edible food is baal tashchis.February 15, 2019 10:58 am at 10:58 am #1680236
For me please no wafers, zazas and hamentashin. Want choclates, beers and sodasFebruary 15, 2019 1:15 pm at 1:15 pm #1680270
Chymee: no, I meant offended by your comment here about the revolting cake they sent. If they’re in the CR and figured out who you are.February 15, 2019 2:46 pm at 2:46 pm #1680299
Most people like getting chocolate and wine, but that doesn’t create an obligation to give that.February 15, 2019 2:47 pm at 2:47 pm #1680307
joseph. its BAL tashchis, not BAAL tashchis. you wasted an ‘A’February 16, 2019 7:01 pm at 7:01 pm #1680392takahmamashParticipant
“Please, no home made stuff!”
You’ve obviously never tasted my wife’s chocolate chip cookies, have you. You’d be begging for more.February 16, 2019 7:01 pm at 7:01 pm #1680389LOTR92Participant
I never understood the problem. If sending fancy themed Mishloach Manos makes people happy, who cares?
It doesn’t make a difference to my MM, and it shouldn’t make a difference to anyone else’s. Why do people see such a big social obligation from what some other people do? I feel people should do what they want, to a extent, and have no shame about it.February 17, 2019 11:28 pm at 11:28 pm #1681081
LOTR92 cause this isnt what mordechai and esther had in mind. This isnt about me. This is all lesheim shamayim. And is this what were supposed to show to our kids what is important?
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