how about sending a simple mishloach manos?

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  • #1678483

    knaidlach
    Participant

    mishloach manos have become something which I don’t think Mordechai and Esther had in mind. the focuse has bacome on the decoration; a theme; etc. etc. plus different mishloach manos for deferent people. how about going back to a simple mishloach manos: some haman tashen; fruits, a drink, and in a simple nice bag?

    #1678504

    馃憫RebYidd23
    Participant

    Let people have their fun.

    #1678518

    WinnieThePooh
    Participant

    Mordechai and Esther wanted to increase happiness and achdus among people thru mishloach manos.
    The decoration, theme, etc is meant to do that. Personally, I can’t afford to send a respectable food package to 20-30 people- pastries, fruits, drinks, nice bags cost money too, even if not fancy. So I limit myself to 2-3 items, usually in some sort of easy to make home-made package. I want people to be happy with it though, so to keep it from being skimpy, I make some sort of theme that pulls it altogether. It brings a smile to people’s faces, lets me exercise my creative genes, and keeps costs down all at the same time. I think it’s actually simpler than what my Bubby used to send- 6 or so different types of homemade cake and an orange on a white paper plate wrapped in plastic, accompanied by a bottle of wine to about 50 of my Zeidy’s closest friends.

    #1678601

    ubiquitin
    Participant

    WTP

    very well put

    #1678604

    knaidlach
    Participant

    WTP
    I guess its all about having a balance. having a nice mishloach manos, but not overdoing it.

    #1678598

    Joseph
    Participant

    Winnie, would you say your Zaidy was in better financial straits than yourself?

    #1678608

    anonymous Jew
    Participant

    Knaidlach, the libertarian says I don’t like fancy shaloach manos, so i won’t send one. A liberal/leftist ( like you) says i don’t like it so nobody should send one

    #1678611

    Why
    Participant

    Raises the standards for everyone and forces people to spend money that they don鈥檛 have. If you will need 诪转谞转 诇讗讘讬讜谞讬诐 to cover your costs just to make sure your kids don鈥檛 feel inferior, then what鈥檚 the point.
    A simple option fulfills the obligation, gets the message across and that鈥檚 enough.

    #1678657

    whitecar
    Participant

    People like to express their creativity with shaloch manos. If you dont want to, you dont have to, and no one will think less of you for doing something simple (and if they do, you have awful friends or family). To tell people not to do something because you dont want to is a bit outrages though

    #1678702

    Uncle Ben
    Participant

    Whitecar; Today’s spelling lesson; A gaudy Mishloach Manos that outrages some CR posters might be outrageous!

    #1678703

    Mammele
    Participant

    WTP: enjoy your fun and creativity, but I hope you realize that your bubby was extravagant for her time and there can be a happy medium.

    My grandmothers when I was growing up sent to 10 people at most (close neighbors and family). A typical mishloach manos consisted of 2 hamentaschen, a slice of cake, a fruit (maybe two) and I think that鈥檚 it. All this was placed on a paper doily in a foil bekele with a clear cover or maybe in the foldable cardboard box with a cellophane window. And 鈥渞ecycling鈥 was the norm and not something to be ashamed about.

    Some people enjoy 鈥減atchkening鈥 and it鈥檚 cute. But it shouldn鈥檛 be expected. And every family has Purim seasons they are simply too busy to do so. When people feel pressured to more than they can, whether with creativity or affordability, because EVERYBODY makes a big deal, we have to step back and refocus. Peer pressure unusually comes from within and is something to be worked on, yet way too many people are insecure and this won鈥檛 change so fast.

    #1678712

    WinnieThePooh
    Participant

    Jospeh, probably, but that’s not what motivated him. He was a big macher and askan and knew tons of people. He left the actual work to my grandmother, A”H who was the quintessential Jewish balabusta.

    #1678727

    馃憫RebYidd23
    Participant

    It’s not fair for there to be any single standard to which everyone is held. People who have more money should be allowed to spend it, and people who have less money or don’t want to spend the money should be allowed to spend less.

    #1678728

    cherrybim
    Participant

    You do not fulfil the mitzvah of mishloach manos when you give a simple niggardly mishloach manos to a choshuve person, such as myself. It’s a turn off. Some will re-gift but when I get one of those, it goes right into the garbage.

    #1678732

    Mammele
    Participant

    I forgot to include the small botttle of grape juice in my grandmother鈥檚 mishloach manos… Now it鈥檚 complete.

    #1678744

    Meno
    Participant

    How do you know that Mordechai and Esther didn’t send penguin-themed shalach manos?

    #1678761

    Joseph
    Participant

    cherrybim: To the best of my recollection this was your first post that got me laughing.

    You did well!

    #1678760

    whitecar
    Participant

    @meno cause they probably didnt know what penguins were in those days

    #1678770

    馃憫RebYidd23
    Participant

    Maybe we still don’t know what penguins are.

    #1678780

    鈽 DaasYochid 鈽
    Participant

    I actually know someone doing a penguin theme

    #1678794

    ubiquitin
    Participant

    chazal incorporated shalach manos themes
    讗谞讗 砖讚专讬 诇讬讛 讞讜诇讬讗 讜讗讬讛讜 砖讚专 诇讬 讞讜专驻讗

    #1678799

    Meno
    Participant

    cause they probably didnt know what penguins were in those days

    That’s why it was such a clever theme

    #1678884

    cherrybim
    Participant

    Thank you Joseph, I try. But I think there has been a few more over the years. After all, I’m the most serious person here.
    It’s just not the same anymore. And there is the thought of possible deletion, so why bother.

    #1678894

    cherrybim: When I think of deletions, you are hardly the poster who comes to mind!

    #1679358

    knaidlach
    Participant

    when preparing mishloach manos, one should make a cheshbon hanefesh how much of my effort is for the sake of the mitsva, for Hashem, and how much is to show off my creativity etc. etc. so for one person, working hard on a very creative MM is an expression of doing the mitsva behidur. for someone else, most of it might be to boost their own ego. so there is no rule or standard of how a MM is supposed to look like. and only hashem knows your intentions while preparing MM

    #1679386

    chymee
    Participant

    When my 2 children got engaged B”H, 1 of the conditions was, we will send each other a very simple really cheap Mishloach Monos, e.g. A “small” chocolate arrangement, & we all stuck to it,
    On my 2nd son’s Ushpizin our Mechutan sent in a huuuuge cake (ordered by a local bakery online) made into an Akeidas Yitzchok thing, (since we live overseas) we took a picture of the cake, emailed it to the Mechutonim, we cut a tiny peace to taste it, it really was revolting, we slung it right into the garbage, 讻谉 讬讗讘讚讜 讻诇 讗讜讬讘讱

    #1679420

    Mammele
    Participant

    Chymee: I hope you haven鈥檛 just offended your Mechitunim…

    #1679430

    馃憫RebYidd23
    Participant

    It is not an aveirah to have fun with your mishloach manos.

    #1679437

    knaidlach
    Participant

    rebyidd23. yes if its fun. but unfortunately for many it’s not fun, its a lot of stress, for themselves and for the family members

    #1679473

    chymee
    Participant

    Mamele dear, no, I’m pretty sure they weren’t offended, because none of us played as if we have all the money in the world to waste for Shtussim,
    As mentioned, WE BOTH stuck to the policy, the money was used for far better things to marry off our children,. & as Reb yid says, it’s so much stress,

    #1679477

    chymee
    Participant

    & if there were offended then just too bad, I’m not here to impress anyone, I have to look after my, & my family’s health and wellbeing,

    #1679505

    WinnieThePooh
    Participant

    Mammale, actually my Bubby’s MM were way simpler than the ones that they got back. My grandfather’s cronies were in a different class altogether… us grandkids loved to be their shlichim since the friends tipped really well! The advantages of being the grandkids of an askan!
    In any case, I don’t get stressed out from coming up with a creative theme, my stress comes from trying to figure out what is appropriate to give my kids’ Rebbeim (needs to include a check, but for how much?) and teachers. Israelis have a whole different standard when it comes to giving MM that I have yet to figure out, and somehow I think the cute-theme thing doesn’t work. B”H I don’t have Israeli in-laws and family who might get insulted!
    You can look at it this way- this is one hiddur mitzva where other people are benefiting from the time/money you invest, as opposed to an expensive lulav/esrog, silver menora, beautiful sukka, fancy seder plate set..etc

    #1679552

    knaidlach
    Participant

    WinnieThePooh
    ‘You can look at it this way- this is one hiddur mitzva where other people are benefiting from the time/money you invest, as opposed to an expensive lulav/esrog, silver menora, beautiful sukka, fancy seder plate set..etc’.

    I really like this attitude. beautiful!

    #1679563

    馃憫RebYidd23
    Participant

    Knaidlach, if people stress themselves out over something that they didn’t have to do in the first place, that’s on them.

    #1679606

    Yapchik
    Participant

    A simple Mishloach Manos is lacking in hiddur mitzva

    #1679630

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    A gift of an annual subscription to YWN is more in line with the original theme of mishloach manos (perhaps along with a virtual prune hamantaschen)

    #1679652

    cherrybim
    Participant

    Actually, I was told by a Rav in the name of a highly respected Rosh Yeshiva and Posek that themed mishloach manos are stupid and, therefore, Assur to give.

    Moderator-29, a while ago, I was pretty active in the Coffee Room and had lots of deletions. So I had to figure out how to bury my politically incorrect messages in pareve posts.

    #1679689

    ubiquitin
    Participant

    “Actually, I was told by a Rav in the name of a highly respected Rosh Yeshiva and Posek that themed mishloach manos are stupid and, therefore, Assur to give.”

    Oh yeah? Well I heard directly from a super highly respected Rosh Yeshiva that themed mishloach manos are at worst a hiddur mitzva and possibly a real chiyuv (see biur halacha 695 讞讬讬讘 诇砖诇讜讞 诇讞讘讬专讜 讜讻讜’ – 讛讞”讗 讛讜讻讬讞 诪谉 讛讬专讜砖诇诪讬 讚讗诐 砖讜诇讞 诇注砖讬专 讚讘专 驻讞讜转 讗讬谞讜 讬讜爪讗 讘讝讛 讬讚讬 诪砖诇讜讞 诪谞讜转 讜讻谉 诪砖诪注 讘专讬讟讘”讗 诇驻讬 讙讬专住讗 讗讞转 砖诐 讘讙诪专讗. 讗讻谉 砖”驻 诇讗 讛讝讻讬专讜 讚讘专 讝讛 讜谞讻讜谉 诇讬讝讛专 讘讝讛 诇讻转讞诇讛:)

    #1679687

    whitecar
    Participant

    Ok lets say everyone did the simple shaloch manos. Hamentashen and grape juice (and those zazas).. imagine by the end of purim you鈥檒l have say 10-35 (depending how chosguv you are) of those small grape juices and way too much hamentashin. Now that we have themes it allows us to have a variety of items which can be eaten in a nice fasion. Soda cand and snack bags for kids snacks. Cakes and cookies and hametashin for shabbos. Choclate is good for anytime and so on. You want to keep it simple keep it simple. I wont remember who gave what anyway (or ill just give it to someone else as their shaloch manos, i dont care)

    #1679719

    whitecar
    Participant

    and @uncle ben thank you in advance for the next spelling lesson

    #1679786

    funnybone
    Participant

    Sometimes we get home made cakes. Some are good. Most get thrown out, either smashed, unsure who its from or just not tasty. Please, no home made stuff!

    #1679823

    馃憫RebYidd23
    Participant

    Funnybone, giving homemade stuff is the test of whether a friend trusts one’s kashrus.

    #1679814

    Joseph
    Participant

    Throwing out edible food is baal tashchis.

    #1680236

    whitecar
    Participant

    For me please no wafers, zazas and hamentashin. Want choclates, beers and sodas

    #1680270

    Mammele
    Participant

    Chymee: no, I meant offended by your comment here about the revolting cake they sent. If they鈥檙e in the CR and figured out who you are.

    #1680299

    馃憫RebYidd23
    Participant

    Most people like getting chocolate and wine, but that doesn’t create an obligation to give that.

    #1680307

    knaidlach
    Participant

    joseph. its BAL tashchis, not BAAL tashchis. you wasted an ‘A’

    #1680392

    takahmamash
    Participant

    “Please, no home made stuff!”

    You’ve obviously never tasted my wife’s chocolate chip cookies, have you. You’d be begging for more.

    #1680389

    LOTR92
    Participant

    I never understood the problem. If sending fancy themed Mishloach Manos makes people happy, who cares?
    It doesn’t make a difference to my MM, and it shouldn’t make a difference to anyone else’s. Why do people see such a big social obligation from what some other people do? I feel people should do what they want, to a extent, and have no shame about it.

    #1681081

    whitecar
    Participant

    LOTR92 cause this isnt what mordechai and esther had in mind. This isnt about me. This is all lesheim shamayim. And is this what were supposed to show to our kids what is important?

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