I am upset.
I know i am upset.
I acknowledge and am aware. (that I am upset)…………..incase i didnt already mention that.
BUt i dont know why.
Why i have this nagging feeling of i am going to cry. scream. I feel i can only stay busy, shopping, eating, or internet surfing for hours. The min i stop i feel the old feeling returning like an old tooth ache begging for attention. I dont know how to deal with it.
Please tell me
Seek the help of a professional and reputable therapist.
Don’t deny or sublimate the feelings.
Do a cheshbon hanefesh and pray like you’ve never prayed before. Establish a genuine, intimate, personal relationship with HaShem. Talk to him like a friend and cast your burdens on Him (Tehillim 55:22- Cast your burdens on HaShem and He will sustain you). Get your hands on Reb Nachman’s works and maybe some sifrei mussar, as well. Stay in the light. Develop a good spiritual practice. And if you use your pain as a way to help others, go for it. Hesed has gotten me through some of the worst times in my life, as has the spiritual practice of hitbodedut. It really works wonders.
Stop running away from your problems. What you are doing is avoidance. You need to face your pain and fear before you can move on with your life. As Goq said you should go seek a therapist.
You went through a tough situation and probably still are. Obviously, there are pent up feelings of guilt, anger, blame, self-blame, responsibility, insecurity, uncertainty, and anxiety. Avoiding them by sitting on the internet is not a good idea and can perpetuate these issues.
It will help greatly to speak to a therapist or life-coach, or perhaps a good friend, that can sort out the feelings and put them in perspective.
Focuss on the times you experienced Hashgacha Pratis, and when it wwaas clear that Hashem answered your Tefillos. This will help bolster your Emuna and Betachon. Repeat to yourself the Pasuk that RebDoniel quoted, Hashlech Al Hashem Yehavcha Vehu Yechalkilecha. Face the future and shape it; don’t throw it away.
If the mods will allow you can ask them to email me for the name of my therapist in Flatbush who helped me immensely.
perhaps you can start by either writing down what you have done/what has happened over the last few days. not only is writing therapeutic, it may help you identify what is bothering you, since sometimes these things are subconscious and need a little help being brought to the surface
Sometimes one cannot deal with an emotion on one’s own. You need professional help. I have heard that Rabbi Babad of Relief is excellent at helping people find an appropriate therapist, and I suggest you call/email him. He is very discreet.
Google “relief Rabbi Babad”