How Do I Deal With a Breakup?

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    A nony mouse


    I’m looking for some inspirational stuff on this

    bhe (Joseph)

    Get back together again.


    It’s hard going through that. I remember going through that last year. I really liked the guy, but he wasn’t sure about me. He said he liked me, but he had mixed feelings. I missed the enjoyable times we had. What helped me through it is to remember the issues that just kept coming. He was insecure from previous relationships. While of course, every relationship has some challenges, since the two individuals are different. Some issues can really damage things, like insecurity and blaming people for what others did. He was also kind of controlling and sometimes wanted to know where I’m going.

    When I look back, I thank Hashem for helping me to let go of an unhealthy relationship and move forward to a healthy one Baruch Hashem


    sorry to stick in here but sm29 whats a healthy relationship and a unhealthy one

    bhe (Joseph)

    How is this even an issue in shidduch dating? You date a small number of times. It isn’t long enough for a long-term relationship to develop unless there is an engagement.


    bhe, that isnt necessarily true. you could date for a month and as things get really serious, and the shadchan is dropped, and more serious things are discussed, it comes out that it is not shayach


    My chavrusa broke up with me and I still haven’t gotten over it yet. breakups are hard, but you gotta keep looking forward

    A nony mouse

    I’m obviously not talking about a chavrusa and thank you sm29!

    Anyone else?


    bhe, I believe you might be mistaken. People can develop feelings in a short time, especially if there is great chemistry and the personalities seem to mesh so well. When a breakup occurs, even if it was a short dating period, if one of the people involved feels (rightly or wrongly) that “this is the one,” it is VERY painful when it does not work out.

    My husband told me he wanted to marry me by the time we had gone on our second date. He had dated a lot and knew what he was looking for, and apparently I was it(took me a little longer). Had I told him after that date that I didn’t want to continue seeing him, he would have been very upset. I have been on that end of a breakup, too, so I know what it feels like to get the “We need to talk,” talk.

    How do you get past it? You just do. You cry your heart out and grieve for the death of the relationship (don’t let anyone tell you not to), and then YOU MOVE ON. There will come a time when you are in the RIGHT relationship with the right person (sometimes it is could even turn out to be that same person who broke it off, as the timing was off). When that happens, you will not think of this episode in your life as anything other than a part of what made you the person you are. I am sorry for the pain you are feeling and wish you to meet your TRUE zivug b’korov.


    I could send down my cousin vinny if that would help you. He does quick and clean jobs, nothing to worry about


    Use the sour grapes method.

    (tell yourself it was rotten anyway)


    It will take some time. Get busy with a project, hobby, job or school. Volunteer. Before you know it you will be looking back at this time and be thankful that you aren’t stuck with a spouse who didn’t appreciate you for who you are.


    Hashem knows things that you don’t know. Although it seemed to you that this was the right one, there was something that you were not aware of that Hashem knew would hurt you later, so He stopped the shidduch from going through to save you. You may feel devastated now, but it was really for the best.

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