How do you let someone know they are not wanted?

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    There is someone who keeps coming back despite all attempts made to let him know he is not wanted. He just does not get it.

    What is there left to do?


    Nebach. (On the other person, not you.) Have you thought that perhaps he does get it but simply has nowhere else to turn? Maybe be nice to him? You don’t give too many details. Maybe he’s desperate for a friend (or whatever it is that he wants from you) and he’ll back off a little if you’re nice instead of trying to push him away?

    Make it your good deed for now. It may benefit you more than you expect.


    Back where?

    (I know, I’m that guy, and the place is here 🙁



    In real life??

    Meaning: Not a troll on blogs.

    Please elaborate and people will be able to offer advice.


    Ask him if he can lend you $500. That should get rid of him for a while. Or loan him $1000. That should get rid of him forever!

    (but try option # 1 first)


    You’re info is too sketchy. Do you mean a Tzedaka meshulach, a very emotionally needy person, a mentally ill guy who keeps coming to your door, a shidduch that you don’t want? What?

    No one has the right to tell you, however well-intentioned, that you should just let the person come around because it’s your extra mitzvah. I am in the same situation with several different such people, because I try to always be friendly to everyone I meet, and some interpret that as a sign on my head saying, “This is the sucker you have been waiting for to dump your tzoros on.”

    I have ended up with people who are VERY, VERY emotionally needy calling me up to cry every day, even late at night. The first several times I was empathetic to their pain and even tried to give them sound beneficial advice (which they never took, anyway) to help their situation. But it is emotionally exhausting and no longer a mitzvah when you have other crises in your own life to deal with, and their problems are weighing you down.

    This might sound mean to some, and I sincerely don’t mean to be, but you cannot be everyone’s best bud, and you cannot solve everyone’s tzoros, or be responsible for their happiness. Always be a good person, but you have to be able to distance yourself sometimes. If they call, screen the calls, if they show up at your door, either do not be home, or actually go out and tell them you have an appointment. Eventually they will find another person, they always do.


    BP Totty

    Thats a great idea. I actually once saw that on a list of ways to get rid of annoying people lol!


    what is a troll


    speak to him in learning , unfortunately this really works . im poga buch menuval ze moshcheihu l’bais hamidrash.


    If he’s a Nebach, just be happy that you are not that Nebach and treat him nicely.

    Who are we to say that we don’t like another person.

    Of course you may set limits as to how much time you will spend with him.

    It doesn’t have to take over your life.


    10-Luchos: There are no term limits for New York State Assemblymen, so you will just have to wait until Mr. Silver loses an election. Same is true for most public officials.

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