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Hi members of Coffee Room,
I am scheduled for my first date and I’m not sure what to expect. I’m from a yeshivish(-ish) background and I’ve never really spoken to men before. What do I talk about? What do I not talk about? What do I do/not do? What’s the protocol for these types of things?
Thank you,
18MinuteMatzahAsk him if he smokes. If he says yes, ask him what he smokes.
Is this conversation in the Coffee Room the first time you’ve conversed with non-family men?
Ask him if he’s a member of the coffee room. That’s a good conversation starter.
Meno, if it’s me I always identify myself to her at the outset.
Ask him about the weather. Especially if he’s very tall. Tall guys love it when you ask them about the weather.
Let the other person start the conversation. Then just respond accordingly.
iac, what if the other person follows the same advice you just offered?
All the sarcasm of the prior postings aside, just be yourself and talk with him about the issues that excite you, about recent places you’ve been to, about a person you’ve recently met who you found especially interesting, about your plans for continuing your education (if that is part of your gameplan). Remember that he is probably as anxious as you are about “discussion topics” so approach it as an equal and forego all the “dos” and “don’ts” you’ve been given by well-meaning friends.
iac, what if the other person follows the same advice you just offered?
Just another reason to ask if he’s a Coffee Room member.
U guys are a riot. Thanks for making me laugh so early in the morning in l.a.
18 minute matza, enjoy ur date !18MinuteMatzah, What you’ve read so far is typical man to man banter. If he talks to you like that, walk away.
Seriously, you won’t find what you’re looking for hear. I suggest you have a heart to heart with your LOR (Local Orthodox Rebbetzin) to set up on the path.
Wishing you all the best, and you should find your basherte quickly and easily.What you’ve read so far is typical man to man banter. If he talks to you like that, walk away.
Some guys have never talked to a girl other than a family member, so all they know is “man to man banter”. Is that a reason to walk out on a date?
Meno, Oh. Maybe not. But you would expect some respect. Especially if are supposedly expecting to meet someone seriously, not just for a night out.
Geordie, do you believe that yiddishe man to man banter is disrespectful? In either event, walking away (as you suggested) is certainly not respectful.
Ask which meds hes on. Ask him if hes pro or anti vaxx. Ask him what his likings are besides going into chinuch and knowing all co names of the best tasting burbons.
Ask him if his great grand ma had 3 sinks in her kitchen?This may have got lost in translation between EN-US and EN-UK. It is certainly disrespectful in a shidduch context. You’re not going out to meet your mates. When I say walk away, I don’t mean literally. I don’t know if Americans have the expression, but to walk away from a deal, means to decline or not complete it. So, she should end the date as soon as she can, and not go further.
Ask him what it says in a kesuba and ask him why charedi yeshivas dont learn tanach like like learn chumash or gemarah.
So nu? How did it go?
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