How have you grown in 5773?

Have grown 353 days older.

Common, You call that growing? That happens naturally at my age.

Did anyone ever notice that the Roman numerals for 40 are XL?!!

I have learned to accept. Accept whatever medicine the Prescriber sends my way, as a tikkun for my soul.(even when it tastes real bad).. accept that what G-d does is for the best. This past year I have had one sort of weird terrible crisis after another. cannot describe or it may be possible to guess my identity.

I have learned that we are not exactly writing the script. But we have free will, to choose to strengthen or suffer. So we must stay in spiritual shape. We must be m’chazik ourselves and others.

I have learned that if I want to make it happen then I HAVE to MAKE it happen. I have learned that after a death of dreams we MUST re-dream, re-invent ourselves and re-build our life. our future.

I have learned to love myself. have compassion and that self abuse is real. And that it must stop. I have learned that I am smart, funny, seemingly full of unlimited potential and my own best advocate, personal trainer, mentor and motivator.

I have learned to be more sensitive to others as well. The more gentle I am to myself the more gentle I can be to others.

I have learned that even despite all the best intentions of getting in shape and thinner, a cheesecake slice still contains the same amount of calories as ever.

I have learned that we cannot fight authority, and that even in a so-called first world country where we boast of our subscription to the values of freedom, democracy, equality and justice that actually its still only an ideal, and does not exist yet.

I have learned that our rabbis and dayonim make mistakes.

I have learned that time is ticking away as my skin loses elasticity and my anxiety grows about who I am becoming.

I have learned that chutzpah is today’s standard of customer care and courtesy. And that moshiach is past due. I have learned to grow thick skin, therefore. and that silence is golden.

I have learned that despite I know of all the best places on line to shop, and drool over every savings i still cannot afford, escapism doesnt help.

I have accepted that I am on my level in everyway, and different in every way from my neighbors and friends, and that that is ok, and G-d Hashem still loves me more than ever. And that I can and must accept my sad,bad, angry weird feelings so I can be me and heal. I have learned we cannot afford to ever stop learning.

Wishing you a gmar achasiva vchasima tova. And all the best in life in this world and the next.