January 3, 2011 8:52 am at 8:52 am #593909miamigirl613Member
What’s normal to spend on dates? Is it better to start off cheap and work your way up if you like the person or start off by going to nice places to give off a good impression from the start but as the dates go on you will spend less money based on your budget?January 3, 2011 1:19 pm at 1:19 pm #725199
The guy’s gotta pay for the whole thing anyways, so why worry?January 3, 2011 2:01 pm at 2:01 pm #725200cshapiroMember
i like guys who spend a lot of money on me :))) i guess its just a perk of dating a rich football players lolJanuary 3, 2011 2:06 pm at 2:06 pm #725201so rightMember
Personally, I think the girl should pay for 50% of the dates. (The guy’s goes on way more dates every year than girls, and it’s only fair.)January 3, 2011 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm #725202boredstiffParticipant
This doesn’t really have to do with the topic…
My brother went on a date in Manhattan. He ended up paying much more $ for parking than the date itself!!January 3, 2011 3:32 pm at 3:32 pm #725203
Again with your football player 🙂January 3, 2011 3:33 pm at 3:33 pm #725204aries2756Participant
Since the guys get to date more they should pay more. After all they are not the ones sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring, right???????? Should the girls also have to pay for that privilege. Oh please, we already had this conversation on another thread.
I think one should always stay within their means. If you show off on the first date, you will be expected to keep up. Don’t be cheap and don’t be extravagant. Do something decent. Young men usually do not take a girl out to dinner on a first date exactly for that reason, that it could become very expensive. So if you can’t afford to do it each time, think of something fun or interesting you can do on a first date that is not expensive but does not make you look like you are stingy.
BTW, girls also feel bad when boys spend a lot of money on a first date and then they turn them down for a second. So I would suggest you keep it fun and not extravagant.January 3, 2011 4:48 pm at 4:48 pm #725205bptParticipant
Since the purpose of dating is to get married, the ammt spent should be the same as you would spend on a “date” with your wife. Some dates are $100 trips to the city plus dinner, other dates are walks in the park with nothing more than a light lunch or snack.
It cracks me up to hear bocherim say, “dates cost me a fortune”.
Gee, if you’re balking at $100, how do you expect to cover rent? Diapers? Food?
Wake up, kids. Running a house costs loads of money. Think dating is costly? You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet.January 3, 2011 4:59 pm at 4:59 pm #725206miamigirl613Member
Reply To Cedarhurst:
I know the guy pays for it all but I’m just trying to figure it out because I’ve had both situations happen to me and just trying to figure out if that’s normal. People should not give off the impression of spending a lot especially if they can’t keep up with it. What’s the point? To impress the girl for a few dates then they think there is a better chance of it working out? Not gonna happen! If he is a guy that likes to spend money and can afford it then go for it, but if it will be out of his budget within a few dates then just be neutral from the beginning. Unless a girl is shallow, I don’t think that if you spend a little less money and she had a good time, she will not continue it because you didn’t spend a lot of money. As long as you both have fun, things should fall into place regardless of how much you spent. I’ve heard of plenty situations where people got married and the guy did not like spending money. Marry for the person he is, not for his money!!! (which does help a lil lol)January 3, 2011 5:54 pm at 5:54 pm #725207
Good point. I used to not spend a lot on dates to shake off any shallow girls.January 3, 2011 6:48 pm at 6:48 pm #725209SacrilegeMember
(Those are probably the boys who arent planning on earning a paycheck for the next 10 yrs.)January 4, 2011 1:39 am at 1:39 am #725210winny1Participant
about $6.99 a lb.January 4, 2011 1:58 am at 1:58 am #725211bein_hasdorimParticipant
start off cheap I don’t mean being cheap, just don’t go spending much until you feel it really has potential than it’s just a good investment. Never show off, or go beyond your means, It’s just stupid & unnecessary.January 4, 2011 2:00 am at 2:00 am #725212bein_hasdorimParticipant
Sac; stop knocking the unemployed jewish youth of america,:)January 4, 2011 2:33 am at 2:33 am #725213ronrsrMember
enough, but not too much.
Spend until the entire date is paid for, then stop.January 4, 2011 11:41 pm at 11:41 pm #725214nfgo3Member
If the boy is learning, start of cheap and work your way down. Or better yet, ask her father to cover the cost of the third and subsequent dates. If he balks, she’s not the girl you’re looking for.
Winny1 – if she’s really lean, you can go to $8.99 a pound.January 5, 2011 12:38 am at 12:38 am #725215mewhoParticipant
ten bux. 2 coffees or 2 bottles of water. if that date works then the next time you go to a restaurant. why waste a hundred bux if you may never see each other again.January 5, 2011 3:17 am at 3:17 am #725216
There are many things that one can do on a date that cost very little. A slice of pizza and a day in the park, are not so costly. Packing a picnic lunch is nice also. For an indoor date, try to be creative. There are museums of all types, for example. These things don’t cost $100, but they DO give you a chance to get to know each other.
I am opposed to lounge dates. Lounges are sleazy places where guys are picking up women at the bars, people are often not dressed in a Tzniusdig way, and the stench of smoke clings to your clothing after you leave. At least it was like that in my day. Which is why I never stayed very long. I cannot imagine it has gotten better with time.January 5, 2011 3:50 am at 3:50 am #725217
Every lounge I have been to is nice, classy, deserted, and you could no more pick up women than rats.January 5, 2011 2:59 pm at 2:59 pm #725218
Lounges are not like that nowadays.January 5, 2011 4:43 pm at 4:43 pm #725219apushatayidParticipant
Oomis. You must have dated the wrong guys, who took you to the wrong lounges 🙂January 5, 2011 9:04 pm at 9:04 pm #725220
Nope, they were major hotel lounges. We actually went to some of them on the way back from where we actually had gone on the date. I found it very non-conducive to a FRUM relationship, and that’s all I will say.January 5, 2011 9:28 pm at 9:28 pm #725221pumperMember
“if that date works then the next time you go to a restaurant. why waste a hundred bux if you may never see each other again.”
Am i missing something? Since when is a meal for two in a restaurant $100? Obviously no one expects to be taken to Prime Grill on their first date! A meal for two in a reasonably nice restaurant doens’t cost more than $50-$60. (Unless you really pig out)January 5, 2011 9:52 pm at 9:52 pm #725222bptParticipant
“why waste a hundred bux if you may never see each other again”
Great attitude. No wonder we have a shidduch crisis.
Try this on for size: Treat (and spend on) each date like you’re going out with your wife-to-be. SHE IS NOT THERE TO PLAY GAMES. She is dating for the sole purpose of getting married, and should be treated as such.
If c’v it does not work out, the cost was a whole lot greater than a $100January 5, 2011 9:59 pm at 9:59 pm #725223shtusimParticipant
i think it should be a direct correlation to how good looking the girl is!January 5, 2011 10:07 pm at 10:07 pm #725224Derech HaMelechMember
AH. This question is very apropos as Tu B’Shevat is coming up. I think if you spend more than 40 NIS a kilo (~$5/lb), you probably overpaid. But I’ll be honest, I don’t really remember what normative prices are this time of the year. It could be a lot less. Or more. Everybody is getting dates this month.January 5, 2011 10:20 pm at 10:20 pm #725225
Boy are you gonna get it for that one 🙂January 6, 2011 5:04 am at 5:04 am #725226
a hotel lounge is free 🙂 okay, there may b an 8 dollar parking fee but its perfect for up until u become chossen and kallah 🙂January 6, 2011 12:27 pm at 12:27 pm #725228yeshivaguy1Participant
bjjkid you’re really on a roll today. I guess if you don’t mind being bored out of your mind it is ok.January 6, 2011 1:13 pm at 1:13 pm #725229
Lounges are indeed the most conducive for a date and the best place to choose.January 6, 2011 1:31 pm at 1:31 pm #725230cshapiroMember
bjjkid idk where u live but here in nyc, parking is more like $18 an hour…January 6, 2011 3:38 pm at 3:38 pm #725231
bored out of my mind? why is a date in a lounge boring? all i want to do is talk to the bochur and figure him out,,,,,not in this for fun. and i live in the tri state area and none of the lounges ive been to had such expensive parking,…..January 6, 2011 3:43 pm at 3:43 pm #725232
Really, one should take the Brooklyn bridge to the Holland tunnel, and go to the Hyatt on the other side. Or if it is raining, go a bit further to the Short Hills Hilton, which has free underground parking.January 6, 2011 3:49 pm at 3:49 pm #725233sandracMember
then you have to pay the jersey toll and extra gas!!January 6, 2011 4:00 pm at 4:00 pm #725234
I am not advocating this as cheaper.
Cheaper is to go to the Brooklyn Marriott. Even cheaper is to not go out.January 6, 2011 5:29 pm at 5:29 pm #725235
I am with BP Totty, though I think $100 is a tad excessive for a first date. Dinner in a ice place can be half that.January 6, 2011 5:32 pm at 5:32 pm #725236
bored out of my mind? why is a date in a lounge boring? all i want to do is talk to the bochur and figure him out”
You want to “figure him out” on a date????? You cannot figure anyone out on a first date, and it is not the purpose of a date to do that. What are you – his date or his shrink? Use your dates to simply get to know someone. After that MAYBE you will figure him out, if you feel you must. Do you want him to spend the date trying to figure YOU out? (Guys, your job is much harder, I grant you that).January 6, 2011 5:54 pm at 5:54 pm #725237
Get to know, figure out – different ways of expressing the same idea. A lounge is most conducive for that for the first 2 – 3 dates (at least).January 6, 2011 5:56 pm at 5:56 pm #725238
of course he is trying to figure me out, how else shd i/he decide i/he am good for me/him.January 6, 2011 6:24 pm at 6:24 pm #725239mikehall12382Member
Learners (all day) are not earners, so if that is the direction you are headed you better start of small reallt small like a coffee and walk
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