How to break up (the shidduch way)

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    How do you breakup the shidduch way –if you’ve gone out for a while?

    How fast do you move on to the next guy (I heard of him -he gave a yes-while I was busy?

    Will I keep on comparing them?


    If you are doing it the shidduch way than you would go through the shadchan which is a big part of making our life less complicated when things don’t work out. However if you dated a while and are/was emotionally invested I believe the right thing to do is speak to him directly (over the phone will probably be easier then face to face)

    I was on the other side of your story. The guy called me to break it off and gave his reasons. I was terribly hurt but took it with grace and thanked Hashem for a while after (and still today) that it didn’t work out.

    Comparing is a natural normal thing which can be good in helping you build a healthy relationship but can also be destructive. Because you dated this guy for a while you will definitely be doing a lot of comparing. If you give yourself time before you meet someone else the less likely the comparing will be destructive.

    Good Luck!


    We dated a while (not so emotionally invested–the prob. was we weren’t connecting emotionally- it was like we were at a plateau!

    I’ll prob. end up comparing them but I am totally ready to move on (I hope it’ll be the right one, if he is I’ll really appreciate him)


    Anyone know what to look out for in terms of making sure your not constantly comparing and forgetting which guy is which??


    I was married for three years, and when it seemed that it was unlikely to work out, I called the shadchan and had her text my wife. Meanwhile, I was on a plane to Chicago because I had been set up with a girl that sounded incredible – wealthy, beautiful, and smart, while at the same time down to earth and torah-dik.


    lol, nice!


    Veltz m, I almost laughed at your post, but I choked down the laughter and some of it escaped in a brief snort-giggle.

    I choked it down because your post is, unfortunately, more true to life than it should be. The phenomenon of the texting shadchan leaving a miserable trail of hurt feelings in her wake is becoming way too common. The get by text can’t be far behind, or can it?

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