How to break up (the shidduch way)

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  • #610510
    onit
    Member

    How do you breakup the shidduch way –if you’ve gone out for a while?

    How fast do you move on to the next guy (I heard of him -he gave a yes-while I was busy?

    Will I keep on comparing them?

    #972931
    pou_bear
    Member

    If you are doing it the shidduch way than you would go through the shadchan which is a big part of making our life less complicated when things don’t work out. However if you dated a while and are/was emotionally invested I believe the right thing to do is speak to him directly (over the phone will probably be easier then face to face)

    I was on the other side of your story. The guy called me to break it off and gave his reasons. I was terribly hurt but took it with grace and thanked Hashem for a while after (and still today) that it didn’t work out.

    Comparing is a natural normal thing which can be good in helping you build a healthy relationship but can also be destructive. Because you dated this guy for a while you will definitely be doing a lot of comparing. If you give yourself time before you meet someone else the less likely the comparing will be destructive.

    Good Luck!

    #972932
    onit
    Member

    We dated a while (not so emotionally invested–the prob. was we weren’t connecting emotionally- it was like we were at a plateau!

    I’ll prob. end up comparing them but I am totally ready to move on (I hope it’ll be the right one, if he is I’ll really appreciate him)

    #972933
    onit
    Member

    Anyone know what to look out for in terms of making sure your not constantly comparing and forgetting which guy is which??

    #972934

    I was married for three years, and when it seemed that it was unlikely to work out, I called the shadchan and had her text my wife. Meanwhile, I was on a plane to Chicago because I had been set up with a girl that sounded incredible – wealthy, beautiful, and smart, while at the same time down to earth and torah-dik.

    #972935
    onit
    Member

    lol, nice!

    #972936
    golfer
    Participant

    Veltz m, I almost laughed at your post, but I choked down the laughter and some of it escaped in a brief snort-giggle.

    I choked it down because your post is, unfortunately, more true to life than it should be. The phenomenon of the texting shadchan leaving a miserable trail of hurt feelings in her wake is becoming way too common. The get by text can’t be far behind, or can it?

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