How to help guys in Torah learning /prevent bitul Torah

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    Shalom aleichem

    I am a single woman and really hope to merit marrying a talmid chacham with good middot and help him in his learning and kiruv work etc. Rebbetzin Batsheva Ester Kanievsky once said her zchut from preventing causing her father bitul Torah by helping him with various mundane tasks helped her merit marrying R Chaim Kanievsky.

    For factual reasons there is halachically nothing I can do for preventing bitul Torah in my family so there’s nothing to discuss there.
    Along with trying to pray and fix my middot, I have been occasionally buying groceries for the very few bachurim (counted in one hand) learning in a tiny beit midrash where I live (the shomer community is very small). They already have helpers for the cleaning and meals. I donate here and there to yeshivot/Torah-related institutes. But I would like to do more without the boundaries of tznius and so, I wonder if you guys have come across any creative ideas /alternatives?

    Thanks in advance!
    Bracha vhatzlacha.



    You sound close to that boundary already. When you marry you’ll get to honor the Torah by encouraging and allowing Torah learning.

    Don’t invest your time with stranger boys even if appears to be spiritually motivated.


    Lilmod Ulelamaid

    The best thing you can do is to daven! For men/boys in general and/or specific ones.



    Why don’t you learn some Torah yourself? It’s your right and your herratige. I love Ramban on Chumash.


    Lilmod Ulelamaid

    Elmo – you’re right that she can and should learn herself, as should every woman. According to Rav Avigdor Miller, Zatsal, a woman would need to learn for at least 60 years to finish learning everything that she is OBLIGATED to learn.

    But, at the same time, I have always learned that there is a difference between a man’s learning and a woman’s learning, and a woman receives a unique reward for enabling a man to learn.

    If a woman wants to get the full share of Limud Torah that is allotted to her, she should do both – learn herself and support a man’s learning.

    As Rav Hutner, zatsal said, a woman has a double portion in Limud Torah – her own and her husband’s. (and if she doesn’t yet have a husband, presumably she can receive it through helping other men/boys to learn.)



    You sound like a very special and exceptonal young woman and a ben torah would be fortunate to meet you and ultimately have you as his kallah. If supporting your beschert while he learns, have you acquired the needed job skills to earn a good parnassah? If you have completed your college degree, consider acquiring a graduate degree in you area of specialization. If you haven’t completed college, definitely do so and you will be rewarded with a much higher level of compensation in your chosen profession.i



    Thanks all for the great replies! And I should surely daven for them more.

    And yes, I work but also learn myself every day B”H… I have a chavruta from Jinspire One on One Learning whom I meet over skype – highly recommend that to anyone feeling alone learning in diaspora/ a small community by the way.

    HaLeiVi – Actually the groceries are standard stuff for the public community the bachurim just happen to use them more, but thank you for your remark on tznius – will be careful 🙂

    Gadolhadorah – you’re very on point for that, I’m on the way to getting a professional qualification which unfortunately is non-transferable to other jurisdictions (oy) but beezrat Hashem hoping to find something new that also pays decently in a frummer location where I would do shidduchim when I’m ready…


    Non Political

    @ gadolhadorah

    This poster has constantly fawned on degrees and advanced degrees…

    It’s funny but my wife who runs a babysitting service out of our home
    – makes more money then many of her friends with degrees
    – provides a part time parnassa for her 2 assistants
    – has control of the environment she is in on a day to day basis
    – has more social interactions throughout the day then she did at her (very boring) office job
    – we get an awesome deduction on the majority of the home expenses which is being used by my wife’s business.

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