December 3, 2013 3:33 pm at 3:33 pm #611463
I know I really shouldn’t be complaining, seeing as I am one of the lucky few to get married to a husband who doesn’t beat me, but it really irks me. Every shabbos meal, my husband says a dvar torah, and it is always veibishe torah!
When it’s just the two of us, I roll my eyes to myself and smile sweetly, but when we have guests it is sooooooooooooooo embarrassing.
I even tried subtly asking questions on this dvar torah to guide him towards other ideas, but he never takes the bait.
What would you do?December 3, 2013 3:45 pm at 3:45 pm #991770
Every supper night, say a Dvar Torah, and make sure it’s lomdish and connects current events, the parsha, and Ritvas, R’ Naftulis and R’ Shimons.December 3, 2013 3:46 pm at 3:46 pm #991771Little FroggieMemberDecember 3, 2013 5:17 pm at 5:17 pm #991772
Imagine if your husband was a feminist, and wanted you to daven 3 times a day with a minyan and tallis and tefillin, and made you go to work.December 3, 2013 11:57 pm at 11:57 pm #991774writersoulParticipant
Has it occurred to you that it may just be him being considerate of you?December 4, 2013 12:46 am at 12:46 am #991775squeakParticipant
Yoshke would do nothing. He’s dead.December 4, 2013 12:59 am at 12:59 am #991776
Of course it has occured to me. That’s why I always ask him what the rablah says about his dvar torah, and why the giores disagrees.December 4, 2013 1:19 am at 1:19 am #991777
Popa’s husband would like everyone to note the above veiber torah and judge whether he is correct to keep it at this level.December 4, 2013 5:33 pm at 5:33 pm #991778
No ideas?December 4, 2013 8:17 pm at 8:17 pm #991779
popa_bar_abba: Thought you were a man?! If you are self conscious that your divrei torah were too veibish, maybe find a new chavrusa. Also, maybe you can post what this “veibishe devar torah” is so we can see if it is indeed a veibishe devar torah or if you are just really, really deep making the devar torah seem veibish…December 4, 2013 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm #991780
tzi’enu uri’enu has been a classic for several hundred years. dont knock veibisher torah.December 4, 2013 8:38 pm at 8:38 pm #991781
I’m not knocking it! I just think my husband should not be in tzena renna.
Miritchka: So?December 4, 2013 8:41 pm at 8:41 pm #991782
??? ??? ???? ???? ??? ???? ???? ???
Popa, your husband is trying to follow the words of Mishlei. That’s the source for Veiber Torah.December 4, 2013 9:33 pm at 9:33 pm #991783
As soon as he asks the Kasha beat him to the predictable Terutz and ask him if he had anything better.
Popa, what motivated this?December 4, 2013 9:50 pm at 9:50 pm #991784
You should tell him to apply for a job giving shiurim in seminaries.December 4, 2013 9:51 pm at 9:51 pm #991785
Next time he says veibisher torah, impress the guests with something you learned in daf yomi.December 4, 2013 10:31 pm at 10:31 pm #991786
I’m not looking to impress the guests. It will be even more embarrassing if he says veibeshe torah and I say regular torah.December 5, 2013 3:56 am at 3:56 am #991787oomisParticipant
Considering women have binah yesairah, tell my why that would be a BAD thing?December 5, 2013 12:57 pm at 12:57 pm #991788squeakParticipant
Come on oomis. You know that the whole binah yesaira thing is just patronizing women. If tbere actually were any binah yesaira in the world, the men would of course be the ones to have it.December 5, 2013 2:00 pm at 2:00 pm #991789
Different types of intelligence work best when they are balanced. Not when you have tons of one.December 5, 2013 2:26 pm at 2:26 pm #991790oomisParticipant
Men are often singularly LACKING in binah, yesaira or otherwise. 🙂December 5, 2013 2:59 pm at 2:59 pm #991791
Binah Yeseira refers to intuition. It is harder to fool a man with logic and is harder to fool a woman by character.December 5, 2013 5:53 pm at 5:53 pm #991792
Popa_bar_abba: ?December 5, 2013 6:14 pm at 6:14 pm #991793
wait a minute!
Popa is a woman?!December 5, 2013 6:15 pm at 6:15 pm #991794
cant be. i hold Popa is a man.December 5, 2013 6:37 pm at 6:37 pm #991796
Come on, every frum community is filled with daf yomi learning women who hate veibisher torah. why are you so surprised.December 5, 2013 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #991797
Because then it would be Popa_bas_abbaDecember 5, 2013 8:25 pm at 8:25 pm #991798knyMember
Popa, I didn’t know you knew what veibishe meant. Anyway if you are drinking the koolaid which I do not believe you are its all good as long as its muchrach. wink.December 5, 2013 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm #991799
Ok, fine, you all caught me. I was asking this because my wife complained that I only say veibeshe toirah and asked me to find regular toirah to say when we have guests.
Now that you’ve all embarrassed me, do you have any real advice?December 5, 2013 9:00 pm at 9:00 pm #991800
She’s right.. Nashim Baos Lishmoa. They have a right to hear real Torah.December 5, 2013 9:01 pm at 9:01 pm #991801
do you have any real advice?
She’s probably going to too many shiurim, and thinks she a big lamdan now. Whenever there’s a shiur which she wants to go to, offer to take her to some fancy new restaurant that night instead.December 5, 2013 9:14 pm at 9:14 pm #991802
“do you have any real advice?”
Buy Rav Frand on the Parsha all three volumes.
“Now that you’ve all embarrassed me”
Given some of the outrageous things attributed to your user name I didnt know this was even possible.December 5, 2013 9:16 pm at 9:16 pm #991803TinyTimMember
popa if you are creative enough to come into the coffee room and pretend to be a woman complaining of her husbands veibeshe toirah you certainly have much hope. Also I think it’s really cool that you don’t beat your wife even though she complains 🙂December 5, 2013 9:18 pm at 9:18 pm #991804
lololDecember 5, 2013 11:21 pm at 11:21 pm #991805knyMember
popa. relax. I’ll guess that you’ve only been married for 2 months or so and therefore its a new experience. The yesod to give over even in a veibishe baalabateshe way is that torah is torah no matter what. if you are having guests and your wife will feel uncomfortable than call up a freind or relative for a longer “deeper” piece of tayrah. I am sure you have someone to call. some yeshivish cousins or someone in rabbunos. .they probably would love to hear from you and they will think the whole reason you need a dvar torah is funnyDecember 5, 2013 11:26 pm at 11:26 pm #991806
I’m not mekabel that Popa has trouble saying deep Divrei Torah.
What exactly is “veibesher Torah” anyway? Is it the things I learned in seminary that didn’t make sense? What about the things that did make sense, are they veibesher too? Is it like a bubbe maiseh?
If girls learn Chumash, is that veibesher Torah?
If men learn practical halacha, is that veibesher Torah?
If I believe that ayin haras can be removed by earwax, is that veibesher Torah?
If a girl learns Daf Yomi is that veibesher Torah?
Also, if a girl is single, can she say veibesher Torah? Since she is not a veibish?December 6, 2013 12:28 am at 12:28 am #991807
It’s when it gives you the wrong vibes.December 6, 2013 12:58 am at 12:58 am #991808yitayningwutParticipant
Say a vort about cast iron pans. They’re very manly and I hear there’s lots of Torah to say about them.December 6, 2013 1:07 am at 1:07 am #991809writersoulParticipant
yitayningwut: Check Yechezkel 4:1-3…
(Pretty veibish- a bunch of future-veibers learned it recently, at least…)December 6, 2013 1:15 am at 1:15 am #991810👑RebYidd23Participant
Assuming what you say is true, you can ask herto give you an example of what to say.December 6, 2013 3:20 am at 3:20 am #991811
I’m not mekabel that Popa has trouble saying deep Divrei Torah.
Could be his wife isn’t chapping the amkus.
Or, one of his deep divrei Torah is about all eight days of Chanukah having a din of Motzaei Shabbos.December 6, 2013 4:36 pm at 4:36 pm #991812
Writersoul: Very impressive.December 9, 2013 3:09 pm at 3:09 pm #991813
apushatayid: “Given some of the outrageous things attributed to your user name I didnt know this was even possible.” I have to admit that something along this line went through my head too, but i dont think it’s nice to publicize it.
kny: cant be 2 months, this is something a long time wife would say, not a newbie…!
reyidd23: then that would for sure be “veibeshe torah”!
popa_bar_abba: Why would your wife complain? You can always tell her you want to please her and say things that’ll be interesting to her.
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