I don't understand…
Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › I don't understand…
- This topic has 65 replies, 16 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 8 months ago by Busy As A Bee.
August 3, 2011 1:21 pm at 1:21 pm #598401
In the past few weeks almost every division of klal yisroel lost one of their gedolim. And if that wasn’t enough we then lost a precious neshama of Leiby.
SO WHY IS IT THAT WE’RE STILL FIGHTING???
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SINAS CHINOM ON THIS COFFEE ROOM??
I just dont get it.
I grew up understanding the concept that we can “AGREE TO DISAGREE!!”
and most people on this site seem to think that if someone disagrees with you its a personal attack to everything you stand for.
I wonder if people realize that even without meaning to they say so much loshan hara by bad mouthing other users on this site.
Yes even if officially you don’t know who the poster is… its still can be known to others who read the site….
We’re coming up to Tisha Baav and we should not have to!
If we can only get rid of this Sinas Chinom inside then maybe we wont have tisha baav this year.
We all make mistakes.
We all do things we shouldn’t.
But if instead of judging each other by our own standards, we support each other in our times of need (like when I was having a down and the people in the coffee room were all so supportive, writing me poems, telling me chizuk, THAT was beautiful.. )
Who knows what we can do??
There is tremendous power in this coffee room. It is seriously Jews from all over the world gathered together as one and if we use it in the right way like how we can get the sefer tehillim said for people in minutes then who knows what we can achieve???
I’m not saying to now discuss topics of interest on this site, that’s ok, but only if you respect another persons opinion, and if you do disagree that’s ok. You’re not marrying the person, you’re just having a conversation with them. I come from a Yeshivish/Bais Yaakovy home and some of my closest friends are from YU families. Would I do some of the things they do? No. Does that make me respect and care about them any less? No WAY!
I can write about this forever but maybe we all should just try to be more consciousness (I think I spelled that wrong) about respecting our fellow Jews. And when you see someone who doesn’t respect his/her fellow Jew, instead of attacking him/her, maybe let it slide or the most part support that fellow Jew. That would do alot more for Hashem then bashing the basher.
Don’t forget the lesson of the Cha Gadya – Stay out of it, it’s none of your business.
Thanks for listening 😀August 3, 2011 4:24 pm at 4:24 pm #793568Doodle-Man™Member
lets be friends againAugust 3, 2011 4:36 pm at 4:36 pm #793569
I don’t understand (especially in The Nine Days!):
why the Moderators were not doing their job in moderating submissions, as they clearly were not last night .. even after seeing the distress that was being caused me.
(even tho’ they did delete Bar Shattya’s comment to me: “stop crying you dolt”).
“Cyber-bullying is “the use of information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others”.”
I’m sorry to say that I felt just as disrespected & abused by the complacency & non-action of the Mods, as I felt from the rude, lacking Derech-Eretz comments of above-referenced poster to myself & others.August 3, 2011 4:37 pm at 4:37 pm #793570aries2756Participant
You are right. I don’t think it is so much that we can’t disagree, it is the way we disagree, almost with venom. Of course we can choose to disagree and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But the way some of us go about it and rake each other over the coals for disagreeing is truly very harsh and wrong.August 3, 2011 5:05 pm at 5:05 pm #793571
Mods~ I still don’t understand why my comments have not been dignified by a response. 🙁August 3, 2011 5:13 pm at 5:13 pm #793572
Aries I see smartness does really run in your family 😀
Always here maybe you’re right about what happened. I dont knw since I wasnt on and didnt read the posts. And I try not to talk about things I have no clue about, it just makes me sound stupid.
But is it really worth it? Why are u giving this random person whom you don’t even know (and dont even seem to like) power over you by caring? True maybe his comments were uncalled for (though again I am not stating that just referencing how you may feel) but think about it, if a 2 year old would call you a dolt would u really care? Or would you not care cuz what a 2 year old thinks of you is not important to your opinion of yourself?
Now I’m not either calling anyone a 2 year old in their behaviors but to quote (chachma bagayim tamim) Eleanor Roosevelt ” Noone can make you feel inferior without your consent”
I heard this on a shuir recently and it was saying how what is our responsibility in this world? Exactly that. Our response ability. How we are able to respond the proper way. We cannot change the OUTCOME of a situation, only Hashem can, but we can change how we COME OUT of it.
I hope noone is getting upset about what I’m posting. I am not trying to give mussar or think that I am any way better than anyone else. It just hurts me to see so many Jews fighting in such a place that can do so much good.August 3, 2011 5:26 pm at 5:26 pm #793574
I am sorry for anything that I might have caused in the CR. I know that I reacted a little harshly especially to bpt. Please please forgive me. I think it was just one of those days….August 3, 2011 5:34 pm at 5:34 pm #793575TheGoqParticipant
we all have those daysAugust 3, 2011 5:39 pm at 5:39 pm #793576
Busy As A Bee~ thank you for your response.
as I said above^, “I’m sorry to say that I felt just as disrespected & abused by the complacency & non-action of the Mods..”
& I see that Mods have subsequently posted on my thread decrying the original problem, but STILL not addressing the ikar!! :/August 3, 2011 5:40 pm at 5:40 pm #793577
its not an excuse but thank youAugust 3, 2011 5:42 pm at 5:42 pm #793578ZeesKiteParticipant
I LOVE these days. The days everyone apologizes to everyone else.August 3, 2011 5:49 pm at 5:49 pm #793579MiddlePathParticipant
ZeesKite, for me, that’s every day. I’m always apologizing for things. I have to learn how to stop.August 3, 2011 5:50 pm at 5:50 pm #793580
sorry to say, but no one has apologized to me & I had even clicked on ‘contact us’ (upper right hand corner of pg.) last night & wrote to the ‘Administration’ saying that I deserve an apology for the disrespect shown me. …& apparently, continues to be afforded me ://August 3, 2011 6:02 pm at 6:02 pm #793581
Well I’m apologizing to you Always Here.
On behalf of anyone who you think wronged you.
For whatever reasons they are not/ can not/ will not/ have not yet/ may not apologize so for you to keep your upsetness within is only harming yourself.
I posted my original post not just about this recent controversy but as a general situation I’ve seen on this coffee room. I have been an avid reader from the beginning days.. (Oh I remember the posts Dr. Pepper used to write :D) A member for a while back then, then when life got busier (as it tends to do) I faded out and recently I returned. But this problem has never been so prevalent until now..
Can I ask how are we planning on going into Yom Kippur? Are there going to be mechila threads?? Like that makes everything all better all of the sudden? WE have to work out the kinks now… and keep others from getting hurt…August 3, 2011 6:03 pm at 6:03 pm #793582
ur not gonna get it so just move onAugust 3, 2011 6:08 pm at 6:08 pm #793583
I am certainly not going to apologize. It was a funny funny joke. Good times had by all. I’m happy to see it was all taken in good jest. I love how people are so understanding.August 3, 2011 6:09 pm at 6:09 pm #793584
thanks, Busy As A Bee!! liking your last paragraph…
hmmm… ‘adorable’~ there are nicer ways to express yourself, ya know.August 3, 2011 6:13 pm at 6:13 pm #793585
Bar Shattya I have no idea what happened.
But is it worth it?
Half of the fights and problems of this world is from miscommunications
We forgot how to communicate cuz all the communicating we do is by texting or email or a chat room like this.
And it is so easy to misunderstand what people are saying.
One thing meant in a joking manner can seem very hurtful to the other one reading it.
If only we remembered how to communicate..August 3, 2011 6:16 pm at 6:16 pm #793586
yes, it’s a funny joke until it happens to you Bar Shattyup (how would you like it if people called you that when you entered the CR and maybe if a mod put it as your subtitle (I don’t think you would like it) and let’s see how understanding you areAugust 3, 2011 6:16 pm at 6:16 pm #793587
I know how to communicate. Write “dolt” at the end of your post. it works wondersAugust 3, 2011 6:16 pm at 6:16 pm #793588mikehall12382MemberAugust 3, 2011 6:16 pm at 6:16 pm #793589
sorry that you took my post harshly. not meant to be at all! I just meant that I have waited for them to contact me and simply take care of something small but whatever its just not going to come. thank youAugust 3, 2011 6:17 pm at 6:17 pm #793590dunnoMember
I wasn’t following the CR last night so I’m a little lost…what happened to “always here”?August 3, 2011 6:19 pm at 6:19 pm #793592
Busy As A Bee~ last night:
me to the Mods: “…please delete the poster’s comments wherein he has called the CR posters ‘dolts’ in at least 2 threads that I saw?!
I posted my comments on said threads in caps, which were posted, but the name-calling poster’s comments remain in at least one thread.
it’s against YWN-CR’s Editor’s rules!!!”August 3, 2011 6:21 pm at 6:21 pm #793593bptParticipant
As a frequent poster / visitor, I feel the tone and content of the CR is, for the most part, in sync with what you would expect from a forum like this.
True, from time to time, there are heated debates, and sometimes, things get said that are later regretted (case in point, me), but within a short time, the ripples are smoothed over and apolgies are exchanged.
Is the CR perfect? No.
Does the occasional loshon horah slip past? Regrettibly, yes.
Do the mods /members do a good job of content managment? Yes.
Are we head and shoulders above the rest of cyberspace? YES.August 3, 2011 6:21 pm at 6:21 pm #793594a maminParticipant
Busy as a Bee:: I give you a standing ovation! Kol Hakovod!!August 3, 2011 6:22 pm at 6:22 pm #793595
sorry, adorable.. please forgive me.August 3, 2011 6:23 pm at 6:23 pm #793596popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Not being on last night is a ????? ????? ???? ?????
Check out http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/mods-when-someone-calls-you-a-dolt-theyre-calling-you-an-idiot
The original post which sparked it is not up.August 3, 2011 6:23 pm at 6:23 pm #793597
That subtitle works too R. ModAugust 3, 2011 6:24 pm at 6:24 pm #793598
Why woul i care if someone called the entire cr a bunch of dolts? Why would i care if someone called joseph a dolt? Why would i care if someone walked up to me in real time live and started singing “dolty dolty dolty” dolty dolty dolty”? I guess i would care if my fathjer called me a dolt and meant it.August 3, 2011 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #793599yid4lifeMember
Busy as a bee-
I 100% agree with you. Sometimes when I read threads in the CR I just can not believe how people are talking to each other. It makes me so sad. We are all yidden. There are definitely times where I disagree with other people (facebook thread) and I try my hardest not to speak disrespectfully or offensively while stating my opinion and ideas. Just because I do not agree with what some people do, doesnt mean they are better or worse than me. We are all judged separately. everyone should really try and be more aware of what they are saying(typing ) and how they are saying(typing) it.August 3, 2011 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #793600
btw the dolty song is sang to the tune of na na na na na naAugust 3, 2011 6:28 pm at 6:28 pm #793601
I change my mind. my father couldn’t possibly say “dolt” with a straight face. can you? try it, try it. you wont know till you try.August 3, 2011 6:28 pm at 6:28 pm #793602
I know what went on.
Either Bar Shatya said it as a joke or in a sarcastic way (no I’m not excusing it, just trying to be Dan Zechaf Zechus)
Or He meant it in the real way and then obviously we just need to feel bad for him…
Not worth the anger and the pain its causing…August 3, 2011 6:31 pm at 6:31 pm #793603
what tune is that? can you be a little more specificAugust 3, 2011 6:31 pm at 6:31 pm #793604
BPT its def more then the occasional Lashon Hara.
I’ve been here since the beginning and it has never been as bad as it has recently.
But we can change that.
We all can.
Thank you whoever agrees with me, its good to know I’m not alone in this battle to change things…
😀August 3, 2011 6:31 pm at 6:31 pm #793605
from that thread it was said that he came home from yeshiva meaning he’s an immature teenager and you can’t take what he said seriously (teenager are wired differently than regular human beings, it’s a known fact)August 3, 2011 6:33 pm at 6:33 pm #793606
teenagers are regular human beings but they dont have an adult undersanding of somethings yetAugust 3, 2011 6:33 pm at 6:33 pm #793607
I have a cousin in yeshiva. He’s 45.
if you thought bs was a teenager, how wud that prove he’s immature. i know a mature teenager.
If you thought my posts were immature, what does that have to do with age? there are plenty of middle age babies.August 3, 2011 6:37 pm at 6:37 pm #793608
i dont think you are a day older than 3August 3, 2011 6:39 pm at 6:39 pm #793609
I just want to add one thing.
Many times we dont think we are judging.
But we ARE having expectations from our personal experiances.
For example. As Bar Shatya said straight out he personally would not care if anyone called him a dolt (excluding his father :)) but we dont realize that we can’t make assumptions for the rest of the world based on our own feelings. There are way to many people who will be more sensitive to certain issues then others.
example: There was a young teenager I know who had two down syndrome brothers. She had a friend who would call everything “retarded” now push comes to shove I’m sure many people say retarded at times. I doubt we usually mean it in a negative way. However in front of this friend with the two brothers, every time the girl said oh you’re so retarded it was like an arrow straight to her heart. And that was between two good friends. So Kal Vchomer here where we do not know each others backgrounds and personal experiences, we do not know how people would react. And unlike the spoken word which hurts but can disappear and be forgotten, the written word has a Koach to stay forever (hence the writing down of Torah shel bal Peah). We need to be careful and think twice before we hit the “send post” button.
Bar Shatya (Sorry if i spelled that wrong) I did not start this post to attack you in any way. There seems to be alot of talk about what happened last night since that is fresh on everyone’s mind but this is a problem that has happened before and unless we do something will happen again. I hope you are mochel if I caused you any harm with this thread all I want is an awareness for all of us to be more careful in how we speak (post) .August 3, 2011 6:40 pm at 6:40 pm #793610
that’s nice but you are a teenager, and you’re cousin isn’t “in Yeshiva” if he’s 45 maybe in kollel or a rebbe or is a Baal Habas learning in a yeshiva, but sorry he’s not “in Yeshiva”August 3, 2011 6:41 pm at 6:41 pm #793611
Mods please dont allow any negative comments through on this thread. That will just destroy the whole purpose.
You guys are amazingAugust 3, 2011 6:41 pm at 6:41 pm #793612
Me? Mochel? theres nothing to be mochel. just a bunch of good spirited clean fun. not much clean fun nowadays and you guys are great at providing it. cheers all around.August 3, 2011 6:44 pm at 6:44 pm #793613
are you stalking my cousin? just what he needs! for you to ruin his menuchas hanefesh.August 3, 2011 6:44 pm at 6:44 pm #793614
Just checking 😀
I think you’re having way to much fun Mr. Bar Shattya (was gonna use your initials but… :DD )August 3, 2011 6:47 pm at 6:47 pm #793615bptParticipant
“it has never been as bad as it has recently.”
I guess I see what I want to see (or see others how I see myself)
At any rate, I’m all for more civility, so yes, we can (and should) change for the better.
All I ask, is that we give credit where its due.August 3, 2011 6:47 pm at 6:47 pm #793616
As the holy and great reverand Maharaja Rushy Limbaugh is known to say- “More fun than a human being should be allowed to have”
But, hey, hiskatnu hadoros; people need more outlets nowadays.August 3, 2011 6:52 pm at 6:52 pm #793617
BPT I am not putting blame on anyone’s shoulders except myself and trying to bring an awareness.
I think the Mods are doing a great job.
And they definitely deserve appreciation cuz without them…
I don’t wanna even think about it..
And the YWN editor for making such a concept it also is appreciated 😀August 3, 2011 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #793618
Bar Shattya can I ask you a question?
Putting last nights incident aside
Do you agree or disagree with the concept I am trying to state in my original post?
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.