I have terrible table manners

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  • #2037427
    Participant
    Participant

    It’s all because I eat too fast.
    But I have zero motivation to slow down.

    #2037645
    Romain
    Participant

    Thanka for telling us🤣

    #2037659
    Romain
    Participant

    Thanks for the info.

    #2037691
    ujm
    Participant

    Bentch slowly.

    • This reply was modified 10 months ago by YW Moderator-33.
    • This reply was modified 10 months ago by ujm.
    #2037755

    learn Beitza 25 and do teshuva

    #2037781
    TS Baum
    Participant

    Learn Chagiga 7B and your covered. Your bad manners will stop very quickly.

    #2038299
    RebYid613
    Participant

    Take a video of yourself eating and watch it

    #2038483
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Participant,

    “It’s all because I eat too fast.
    But I have zero motivation to slow down.”

    I also have an inclination to eat too fast and too much, probably due to childhood experiences. It’s a surprisingly tough habit to break. Some things that I try:
    1. Have kavanah when making the bracha rishona that you are eating to serve the Borei Olam and that the food is a special gift from Him just for you. Say the bracha slowly and out loud. A rushed, furtive bracha leads to rushed, furtive eating. For motivation, think of how you’re turning the meal or snack into a great avodah.
    2. Be mindful when chewing food. I’ve heard some say to chew 30 times before swallowing. This may be helpful with GERD and indigestion issues as well.
    3. Scan the table and make a mental decision of what and how much you plan to eat, or make up a plate of your food beforehand. Stick to that plan or plate and take nothing else.
    4. Compliment your wife or hosts for the food after a bite or two. Try to notice details. If you cooked the food yourself, try to detect the taste of the individual ingredients.
    5. Don’t try to finish all your food before divrei Torah, zemiros, conversation, etc. Mix them into the eating.
    6. Try to time your eating with someone who eats more slowly.

    Edited

    #2038668
    theshadchansays
    Participant

    just dont do it a date and your good:)

    #2038689

    > Mix them into the eating.

    All excellent advice except this one – you should not eat and talk at the same time.

    #2038985
    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Always_Ask_Questions,

    “ou should not eat and talk at the same time”

    Good catch – I did not write that one clearly. Part of the subconscious reasons for eating quickly is a combination of social fear of being engaged in conversation while you have food in your mouth and a fear of the food being taken away or the meal ending before you have a chance to eat. So you warf it down. What I was trying to suggest was eating a little from the plate, pausing the eating to talk or sing, then resume eating. No need to have an empty plate before conversation, which then leads to mindlessly refilling the plate when the conversation lags and others resume eating.

    #2039197

    Avram, got it. Paraphrasing: better to be chewing and be thought a fool than empty your mouth and remove the doubt.

    #2040433
    Participant
    Participant

    chagiga 7b?

    @Avram in MD
    good to hear I’m not the only one
    besides for the 1st piece of advice (u think very highly of me. my posting identity, that is.)
    all the rest of them require motivation.
    I just like to eat and be finished.
    Slow down?

    #2040606
    theshadchansays
    Participant

    ok “participant”, since Afterall i AM a shaddchan,(well a young one anyway) i think it’s my duty to tell you that its ok to show it in your flaw house but NOT on a date. like literally, spill ur coke on him/her but don’t: chew loud, slurp, burp, use wrong utensil(obviously only bad ones like a fork for a soup, dont know why u would do that anyway) or anything that would gat him/her grossed out. obviously that is assuming that u are dating. if not thats totally ok! :😂🤣😁😁)

    #2040779
    TS Baum
    Participant

    @theshadchansays
    I like your humor.

    #2040812

    > my duty to tell you that its ok to show it in your flaw house but NOT on a date

    1) if you do it at home, rest assured you’ll do it on the date. Maybe on the 3rd one.

    2) Maybe you should demonstrate your manners now in order not to mislead the other side.

    #2040851
    theshadchansays
    Participant

    alwaysaskquestions: i definitely hear ur point but i don’t agree. say on the date ur having pizza. are u going to practice eating it with a fork and knife at home in order to practice impressing him on a date with your proper etiquette? NOOOO! your home is ur zone!(hey that rymes!) you don’t need to PRACTISE eating properly. and if the guy/girl wont marry you because of ur table manners, that take my professional advice and MOVE ON.
    you’re welcome! that will be $100 please 😁🤣😂

    #2040915
    Goldilocks
    Participant

    Theshadchansays: Pizza is generally not eaten with a fork; fingers are acceptable.
    But if you regularly eat foods such as chulent, kugel, rice and sesame chicken with your fingers, to the point where you’re not entirely sure what a fork is for or how to use it, you should definitely practice at home!

    #2040929

    Goldilocks > you should definitely practice at home!

    He should practice to the point when he is sure he’ll be doing it when married. If he is practicing just to impress the shidduch, and then he’ll revert to his non-manners, this could be mekach taut!

    #2040979
    theshadchansays
    Participant

    why are we bashing bad table manners?!?! it’s OKAY to be impolite!

    #2040984
    Johnny Picklesauce
    Participant

    theshadchansays: Yeah, totally! When I go to upper class resturuants every night, I honestly don’t care what the guy next to me thinks about the way I eat. As a matter of fact, I’ll b’davka slurp noodles so that the next guy will move a table away. The more space for me, the better, y’know waht I mean? Sometimes I just need my Daled Amos, and if I can get it by drinking coke with a straw through my nose

    edited

    #2040989

    >> it’s OKAY to be impolite!

    As OK as eating treif. Rabbi Akiva, Beitza > Derech Eretz MinHatorah

    #2040985
    Johnny Picklesauce
    Participant

    yeah maskim!

    #2040994
    theshadchansays
    Participant

    oh my gosh, #picklejuice or whatever ur called, so maskim! you do what works and chances are, that the fancy, upper-class couple staring at you are NOT your futer in-laws (ummm… for obvious resons ) so you’ll get looks!! ok, move on! but #picklefreser, its probably NOT a good idea to drink soda through your nose :🤣🤣🤣)
    AAQ: im sorry, im not a walking tanach, so i cant argue

    #2040919

    A rosh yeshiva who, in my view, has impeccable manners, told me that he once met a prospective F-I-L who had even more impeccable manners, eating a sandwich with a knife & fork. Given that the shidduch did not happen, I presume that F-I-L was annoyed by the lack of manners of the future RY.

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