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I am Young. I think of death quite often. Nothing crazy – I don’t obsess, but it is on my mind. I am scared of it. I feel my vulnerability as a human being. I don’t know what other people think – and that is the point of this post – but I would imagine that older people think of it a lot.
It is astounding to me that people go through this world acting as if they will be here forever when the reality is that every last human being will at some point die. Its just when. Everyone is moving moving moving closer to death. Its like a slow moving conveyor belt that never ever stops moving.
And being that no one is exempt…why is it so ignored??? I know everyone is thinking, of course there is an Afterlife! But even the humans that believe in it pay it lip service. They say, yes yes yes…but they go back to thinking and talking all day about the totally transitory fleeting world! Its like the ostrich that hides its head in the sand because it doesn’t want to face reality!
Why do such smart people out there, even in their waning years never talk about the one thing that is so so important! I don’t understand it! Am I weird that even though I am young, I carry it with me?
I am not trying to sound like a Mussar guy – its just that these things scare me – and I wonder if it also effects others. And I also wonder why people -especially older ones, and very smart people – will spend all their time on this and that – when they know that they will be dead in twenty years!
I think about death in these 3 main contexts:
#1: Hayom kotzer v’hamlacha meruba…we must accomplish,and correct ourselves.
#2: Also,I look forward to being surrounded by truth,absolute truth.
#3: I wonder if I will merit to outlive the age of my mother,who was nifteres at the age of 50.
my DH & I talk about having to buy plots.
he talks about the yirusha to our children after 120; I say give them stuff now. {I’ve already started recently giving them things).
that’s the extent.
btw, eclipse~ I had a VERY hard (depressed) year at age 41, the age my Mother was when she was niftar.
Death is not a central theme in Judaism. In ancient Egypt it was.
Egyptian priests mainly ministered to the dead.
Jewish Cohanim were prohibited to have contact with the dead. None of the Korbanos (temple sacrifices) were offered on behalf of the dead.
Kadish is not a prayer for the dead, but an obligation for the sons to “step up to the plate” and sanctify G-d in THIS world.
Too much thinking about death is not healthy and a psychologist should be consulted.
Jewishness; I contest you on that. Every person (At least every Ehrlicher Yid) thinks about the possibility of imminent death and thanks Hashem for giving life every minute of every day. As we say in Shemonah Esrei “Our Lives that are (Given/over) in Your Hands”. And we declare that we do not take life for granted. Especially, someone who survived car accidents and falls –as I have–. Same goes for medical emergencies. But Hashem also created human beings with the ability to push some thoughts and memories to “The Back Burner”. Or we would fall into depression and wouldn’t be able to function in a normal way. If your thoughts and fear of death are to such an extent that it interferes with your normal way of Avodas Hashem (Davening, Learning and performing your other normal tasks of daily life) you should seek professional help. There might be an event in your life that triggered the excessive consciousness of death. A professional will (BE”H) be able to mitigate those effects.
Death wasnt ignored when I was in school.. Or atleast I picked up on the cues.. Death is very important in Judaism- its not something depressing or something to be afraid of- because its not the end. I think if it helps in ur avodas Hashm its good to hav a thought niggling in the back of ur mind that life isnt forever.. It gets u moving.. I think American Culture is very anti like thinking about death( cant think of how to word that) and I personally think as Jews its very healthy to remind ourselves this life is not supposed to b comfy cozy, and we should get to work cuz once we get up there its game over..too late..
Death is good to think about in the context of improving and Yiras Shamayim. However it should never interfere with your peace of mind. If it is affecting your daily functioning (unless you have more reason to worry about it than others do)then i think there is something wrong…..
Is there something about dying the same age your parent do? Thats what I get from Eclipse. My grandmother died at 98 , her mother 88. I guess my mother and her mother died around the same age of cancer.
Sender…my mother also had that illness.But that’s not why.It’s because in certain ways,my life events have followed a similar track,and I sometimes wonder where the similarities will end…
Death isn’t scary. After all, we’ll all die sooner or later. When I was a little kid, I used to beg my mother to die, cuz why wait 80 yrs? B”H, I’m absolutely happy to be alive nowadays, but I’m not SCARED of death. I’m scared of the din vecheshbon I’ll have to give up there. Therefore, I try real hard to make the most out of my life!
I am not scared of it,either.
But I would want to live long to be there for my children and hopefully grandchildren,b’ezras Hashem.
I also want more PRECIOUS TIME to “accumulate points” in Olam Haba.
And I was told certain types of gehinnom down here cancel one’s “reservation” up there.Hope that’s so.
eclipse – ” I wonder if I will merit to outlive the age of my mother,who was nifteres at the age of 50.”
So you better get remarried real quick -so your kids don’t go back to ur ex after you go. Even if they do go back, but at least they will have somewhere to go after they turn 18. LOL!
eclipse: Sure. Yesurim is mechaper on one’s aveiros.
Health,I thought about my kids (without LOLing) many times.It’s one of the reasons I took extra vitamins today! Gotta live long!:)
About the first thing you said…my feelings on that matter have not yet changed! Only a miracle can do that.
observanteen,t.y.:)
jewishness – “And being that no one is exempt…why is it so ignored??? I know everyone is thinking, of course there is an Afterlife! But even the humans that believe in it pay it lip service. They say, yes yes yes…but they go back to thinking and talking all day about the totally transitory fleeting world!”
I don’t know if you learn Gemorrah, but it writes -“Drink and be merry for tomorrow we do the same -this is the middah of a Rosho; Drink and be merry for tomorrow we die -this is a Beynoni; Don’t drink and be merry for tomorrow we die -this is a Tzaddik!
eclipse – “Only a miracle can do that.”
Now you are finally beginning to understand what marriage is about. “Kosho Zvigo K’krias Yam Suf.” Only a miracle can bring about the two people who belong together!
Health…I can’t create my own miracle.If Hashem thinks it’s a good idea,He will lead me down that path somehow.For now, apparently,He agrees with me!:)
Eclipse – Wrong! You can only lead a horse to water, you can’t make him drink! Don’t be like the ostrich with her head in the sand. There are plenty of good eligible, bachelors out there!
…whose heads should be dunked in sand.
lol! Oh… Is that really true, eclipse?? I hope u don’t suggest I don’t……?
Are you thinking in the first person?
eclipse – LOL! I’d rather my head be dunked in water, I don’t like the taste of sand.
You don’t get to PICK!!
Wow…we came full circle here…back to life-threatening situations…
eclipse -So now you’ve become the Judge, jury and executioner on all single males! Does this make you feel better?
No… I know there are mothers who train their sons to be kind and caring…I think my sons and their friends are good boys,b”h.
It’s past my bedtime–I took the cynicsm too far perhaps.
The Gemara Health is referring to says that the Resho’im ‘know’ that they will die and they even joke about it, but they don’t really know about it. As others have said, it sounds scary for someone to be into death. It must be in a correct context.
Sender,
Rashi writes on the Pasuk where Yitzchok tells Eisav that he doesn’t know when he’ll die, that a person should worry about dying when within the five year range of his parents’ death. The interesting thing is that the years first stabilized at Avraham before declining further.
I think Woody Allen’s ma’amar is worth quoting:
“I’m not afraid of death. I just don’t want to be around when it happens.”
When I was 21 years old,I helped with taharas on maisim(women) and let me tell you, it leaves an impression.I only did it a few times,because I got traumatized by the last one,but it’s soooo clear that we are only here temporarily.On a lighter note,I had no idea about “wakes” etc.and I thought one of the ladies had passed away in the middle of a weddding!!She was not orthodox,and her family had her dressed to the hilt,STRONG manicure and all….
dont you guys ever sleep?
it freaks me out a bit…but a wise man said if you try and do things right down here, it should be as painless as taking a strand of hair out of a glass of milk 🙂
Why do such smart people out there, even in their waning years never talk about the one thing that is so so important
Because smart people generally confine their conversations to topics of which they are knowledgeable.
??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ?????
Thinking about something all the time is never a good thing,unless it’s a good thing.
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