March 2, 2014 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #612250baskahParticipant
Is there anything I can do, as a frum, ehrliche person who won’t mingle with the opposite gender online or otherwise, to get myself married?? I see that relying on others isn’t going to work! Some things I’ve tried include: segulos (like davening in all kinds of holy places, like running circles around r’ pinchas ben yair…), meeting lots of people and letting people know I exist, meeting shadchanim (lost count of how many), allowing a younger sibling to skip, etc. Any other ideas?? I b”h have a lot going for me and I’d love to move on in life!March 2, 2014 7:59 pm at 7:59 pm #1006230WolfishMusingsParticipant
Is there anything I can do, as a frum, ehrliche person who won’t mingle with the opposite gender online or otherwise, to get myself married??
I know this may sound like a shocker, but perhaps you should try going to where the girls are.
You say that you won’t mingle with the opposite gender, and perhaps that’s good for most situations, but if you want to get married, perhaps it might be time to loosen this restriction for this purpose. Go to a singles event.
The best segulah for getting a job is answering a want ad. The best segulah for having clean clothes is doing the laundry. And the best segulah for meeting a girl for marriage is to actually be where the girls are.
You’ve tried other methods and they obviously have not worked. Perhaps now it’s time to try the obvious.
* Note: I don’t know whether you are male or female (your post did not indicate one way or the other). If you are female, then obviously just switch the genders in my post.March 2, 2014 8:38 pm at 8:38 pm #1006231HaLeiViParticipant
Next time you make the circle turn around to see who is behind you.
Wolfish, what if he wants the type that would recoil by his approaching her (*or the other way around)? Open mindedness includes leaving room to understand those who think differently than you and being able to relate to them on those terms.
Do you leave your resume by Shadchanim or just depend on them to remember you? Are you truly being forgotten about and not having anything mentioned, or is the issue that nothing worked out?March 2, 2014 9:35 pm at 9:35 pm #1006232amichaiParticipant
you must let your friends, family, neighbors, know you are interested in dating. keep on reminding them. hatzlochah!March 2, 2014 9:43 pm at 9:43 pm #1006233Little FroggieMember
It doesn’t take a frog scientist to discern that OP is obviously female.
I agree totally with HaLeiVi; if she has a higher standard and would not mingle etc., she definitely should not do it now, when trying to construct her new home. Lowering standards is certainly not a segulah to invoke rachmei Shamaim.
To you baskah – I would say to involve yourself totally in chesed, for its sake. Try to put yourself in another’s matav when helping, assisting another. Try to be mekayim mitzvohs for their own sake, totally lshem shamayim. Be realistic, make proper hishtadlus, and then leave the rest to the our Great Creator up there. (you asked me, didn’t you)
B’sha’a Tova, b’mheira!!March 2, 2014 9:57 pm at 9:57 pm #1006235bais yakov maidelParticipant
“Lowering standards is certainly not a segulah to invoke rachmei Shamaim.”
Apparently, it invoked rachamei shamayim for me. Happily married to a wonderful person.
Baskah, listen to peeople like me, who have tried it with success. You won’t go off the derech. Nothing will happen. It’s not any less tznius than going on a date. You don’t need the stamp of a shadchan to make the ecnounter kosher.March 2, 2014 10:26 pm at 10:26 pm #1006236SoftwordsParticipant
Being that I don’t know you I can’t advise you. However, we all must believe in the koach of Tefilla. Why don’t you post your name “ploni ben plonit) and at least some of us will daven for you. You never know where your yehoshua might come from.March 2, 2014 10:31 pm at 10:31 pm #1006237funnyboneParticipant
Nobody here knows you well enough to give you an answer. What is “going for you.” What are your issues? Is there an obvious reason why you are having a hard time? Are you looking in the right places? I would recommend finding a mentor or ask a shadchan why she thinks you are having a hard time.
Having said that, it’s possible that there aren’t any issues and Hashem is being ‘misaveh le’tefilosson shel tzadikim.’ Keep on davening! Keep on collecting zechusim!
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