I wish I were a Talmud Chacham

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  • #599272
    aries2756
    Participant

    Seriously, as a woman and one with knowledge, training and experience, I still wish I could be who I am yet have learned what men have learned so I can have that Torah knowledge at my fingertips. It is such a gift.

    #807526
    Health
    Participant

    Areis -You can learn all areas of the Torah which apply to women.

    And believe you me – these areas are vast.

    #807527
    Sam2
    Participant

    And there is some support to learn whatever you want. As long as it’s not flaunted it will be just for yourself.

    #807528
    aries2756
    Participant

    Health, that is not what I meant. Just because I am a woman does not mean that the issues that I deal with on a daily basis have to do with female issues. I believe that the vast majority of men take for granted the gift they received and have no clue how lucky they are that they were given this key to knowledge that we were not privileged to have. To literally pull out of your hat chapter and verse regarding any subject or disagreement to help another person (or even oneself) to see or understand a certain perspective on any issue is priceless.

    #807529
    yovel
    Member

    Rambam says that a woman who learns Torah, though not obligated, peforms a mitzvah for which she is rewarded. It’s clear from the context that this refers to all parts of the Torah, including Gemara. (It’s just that men are not allowed to teach women.)

    #807530
    aries2756
    Participant

    Yovel, so if men are not allowed to teach women, are they supposed to learn on their own? And if you learn on your own, how do you really get the right answers if you are NOT learning from the experts? So if you only think you have the right answers, how do you know that you are doing the right thing or are advising others appropriately?

    #807531
    Health
    Participant

    Aries – You didn’t understand my post. I’ll explain -woman have to keep Shabbos -so any Torah regarding Shabbos they can and should learn. Not limited to, but including Mikra, Mishna, Gemorah and the Halachos pertaining to Shabbos.

    #807532
    Sam2
    Participant

    Men not teaching women is the Diyyuk of the Drishah that many rely on nowadays. The more interesting reading of the Poskim claims that you just can’t force-teach a woman, but once she expresses a desire to learn it’s okay to teach her. I am very hesitant about that because it’s a huge Chiddush. See Y”D 246 with the Prishah and other Nos’ei Keilim.

    #807533
    mytake
    Member

    There are many many books out there that discuss all areas of Hashkafa and Halacha. Also, you can always run your advise through a Rav to make sure it’s in line with the Torah’s view.

    #807534
    Health
    Participant

    Sam2 – Is that all Torah or just what she is Mechuyav in?

    #807535
    Tomche
    Member

    Sam: What is a huge chiddush?

    #807536
    Sam2
    Participant

    The huge Chiddush is that if a woman chooses on her own that she wants to learn all of Torah then you are allowed to teach them. The Drishah’s Chiddush that they can learn whatever they want on their own is big enough.

    I personally have never refused to answer a woman’s question (not Lema’aseh) because there is definitely whom to rely upon. However, I would not feel comfortable saying Lechatchilah that a woman can learn from someone.

    #807537
    Health
    Participant

    Sam2 -“However, I would not feel comfortable saying Lechatchilah that a woman can learn from someone.”

    You’re talking about things that they aren’t Mechuyav in?

    #807538
    aries2756
    Participant

    I feel like you are all missing my point. You have been given a gift, an amazing gift that in many cases is taken for granted. WE were not entitled to that gift and I find that very sad because it is an amazing source for emunah and bitachon and absolute guide to live one’s life by and to assist others when they are floundering or can’t find their footing.

    I have my set of tools, and they have been very helpful and very useful to me, B”H, of course with Hashem’s guidance and input. Believe me, there are times when I don’t know where some of the things I tell people come from, and I realize then that Hashem has put some amazing words of chizuk on my tongue, but to be able to reach into thin air and pull out a possuk, or a discussion on any given subject or issue and apply it to whatever is happening at the moment, is such an amazing gift. It is priceless and one must appreciate and sincerely admire the opportunity no matter what the Yeshiva experience was all about. The fact that men were given that opportunity is a priceless gift that should never be taken for granted.

    I would like to give an example of Hashem’s words of chizuk. I was working on one of my suicide cases. A young woman of 21 years of age. I actually stopped her from swallowing a bottle of pills and called Hatzolah. I went with her to the hospital and stayed all night till she was admitted. She didn’t want to call her family and I had only met her that day. She was a friend of another young lady I knew.

    I was visiting her in the Psych ward and asked her why she was attempting suicide. She kept telling me she wanted to die. I asked her give me a good reason. She didn’t understand why I cared so much but she knew that I did. So I told her, and I had know idea how this came to me. “So there you are climbing up the ladder to Shamayim, and Hashem reaches his hand over the top rung and shleps you over the top. You are now face to face and he says “Chani, what are you doing here?????” what are you going to tell him?”

    She looks at me with a surprised face and starts blushing. She says, I will say “I wanted to meet you” so I said that Hashem would say “Good, now you met me, go back down you haven’t completed your tafkid on earth.”. She was so shocked, she was just staring at me. I was shocked as well. Then she started to smile and said she never thought about it that way.

    She told me she wasn’t taking her medication but pretending to, and was saving them up to take all at once. I gave her a huge hug and told her I loved her and that I would come back in two days to check on her. I went to the desk and asked for the nurse and told her to check her room because she was stashing the medication. I got into my car and starting shaking and crying. And didn’t have a clue where that came from and why I said that.

    Six months later I had the opportunity to meet her father. I had no clue who she was or who the family was. I only knew that her parents were divorced. When I met the father the first thing he said was thank you for saving my daughters life. I told him, that I was just a sheliach and Hashem was in charge. Then he asked me if he knew who he was. I told him I didn’t. He said he knew who I was. I was shocked. He told me that my father-in-law z”tl and his father z”tl were best friends. My spine turned to jelly, I almost fell through the floor.

    When I left that apartment i went straight into my car. I couldn’t stop crying or shaking.

    #807539
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    Health, I don’t think that’s true about Mishna and Gemara. There is a Chiyuv to learn Halacha, but other than that, the reasoning and Pilpul of how the Halacha came about, is not included.

    Sam2, I don’t find the learning on their own to be such a Chiddush. The Gemara Mentions teaching your daughter, which souds like unsolicited teaching. Bruria had to have learned it somehow. If I remember correctly, the Drisha’s mother was a Melumedes.

    The only thing is Shitas Rebbi Eliezer, that he didn’t even want to answer a woman in learning. Perhaps she was not a Melumedes on her own, and he was worried about Hizharu Bedivreichem. What went on in Beis Medrash was kept a secret from anyone.

    #807540
    Queen Bee
    Member

    I’ve always wanted to learn. In elementary and HS, my favorite Hebrew subjects were Chumash and Navi. I feel like there’s a whole side to Judaism I’m not part of because women are not allowed to learn.

    If a woman picks up a gemara and starts reading on her own, is that assur? Let’s say I steal (ehem, borrow) my father’s Artscroll gemara?

    #807541
    MiddlePath
    Participant

    aries, what a beautiful story. Just know that I think you have an incredible amount of knowledge in how to live the way G-d wants us to, and even though this “gift” of learning is viewed as only for men, you have your own gift, which is using your sensitivity, perception, kindness, and of course your knowledge, to help me and so many others in so many areas and ways. And that is not a very common gift.

    Queen Bee, I’m sure every situation is different, but I was told by my family’s Rabbi that I can learn Torah with my mother. And I do. I learn with her every Friday night after the shabbos meal.

    #807542
    Queen Bee
    Member

    MiddlePath, that’s so amazing! If I ever get married, I’d like to learn with my husband (if that’s allowed…)

    aries2756, I second MiddlePath.

    #807543
    Sam2
    Participant

    Let me restate things. The Drishah had a Chiddush that it’s Davka teaching which is problematic. This is talking about anything. Many Poskim don’t accept this Drishah. Everyone agrees that you have to teach her what she is obligated in (at the very least the basic Halachos). The modern Chiddush is to limit it even further and say that unsolicited teaching is Assur.

    #807544
    Sam2
    Participant

    Honestly, I expected more anti-learning on the “Yeshivah” world. I was once on a Yeshivish site where a “Posek” told a girl that it’s better for her to watch TV than to learn Gemara. There are many to whom I would recommend the modern adaptation of the Drishah’s Shittah. I just didn’t think that I would find anyone like that in here.

    #807545
    aries2756
    Participant

    Thank you MP and QB. Seriously I don’t want to take credit for that story. It is so obvious that it was all orchestrated and I was just a player. But I do appreciate your kind words in general.

    #807546
    Health
    Participant

    aries -“It is so obvious that it was all orchestrated and I was just a player”

    Exactly, so when you needed to say the right thing, Hashem helped you. Being learned doesn’t mean you’ll have more Siyata Dishmaya than s/o whom isn’t!

    #807547
    Sam2
    Participant

    Health: I think a good number of people hold that it does actually.

    #807548
    Queen Bee
    Member

    Seriously? A girl should rather watch TV than learn gemara? Is there something they’re trying to hide from us women? (I’m not trying to be argumentative, just really???)

    #807549
    Health
    Participant

    Sam2 – What you can’t teach them things even if they are Mechuyav in them?

    #807550
    Sam2
    Participant

    Health: Many people (I don’t know Poskim, but people) read the Shulchan Aruch as saying that you can only teach them the Halachos that are pertinent and no background. I have heard stronger Shittos but have no source whatsoever to back them up. Then there is the famous line from the Maharil that “It is Assur for a woman to open a Sefer.”

    #807551
    Nechomah
    Participant

    Aries, could it be a little of the other side of the fence is greener. There is SO much Torah that you can learn and be able to quote when you need to.

    Rebbetzin Deena Weinberg, almanah of the late R”Y of Aish HaTorah, R’ Noach Weinberg, used to teach and probably still does that there is so much to learn about keeping the mitzvos women have to keep, like the 6 constant mitzvos. She recommended learning EVERYTHING you can about what you do have to do and then if you have time after that, well, you can imagine.

    There are tons of seforim out there and a lot of what you probably want is in the medrash and other non-problematic seforim on hashkafa, etc. The issues of learning mishna/gemara by women may not seem so large when you look at how much is actually out there that we can learn.

    #807552
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    Great story, Aries.

    Please share with us some more,if you can.

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