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famous stuff are: bring a reb akiva eiger into the bathroom.
“tie my right shoe before my left shoe”- attributed to r yankel the iluy
I’d start a cat rescue and you’d have to start a borogove reduction program.
eat chailev
i would bite my lips on shabbos
Who’s R’ Yankel the Iluy?
not make a zecher lechurban in my house
Eat lobster!!!!!!!!!!
Learn Iyun on Tishabav!
I think I once wrote this (maybe with a different..)
What I would do? I’d bring a korban to HaShem – a perfectly permitted and most meritorious thing a non Jew can do. And a Jew nowadays cannot.
Then I’d make a dash for Beis Din.
I would walk in front in the 4 amos of someone davening shemoneh esrei.
I’d make a private Geirus and keep the affair quiet, to avoid it dragging on.
I would:
1) say devarim shb’hedusha without a minyan.
2) daven not wearing a black hat and jacket.
3) say pesukim of tanach b’al peh.
4) Teach my daughter gemara.
What if you find out you’re Jewish, but just not frum. What would you do then?
That line is alleged to have been said by. R Yaakov Drillman.
Best answer so far: gotbeer’s
I’d buy a pair of green pants with navy-blue whales on them.
PBA, you’re not going to believe it, but that is exactly what happened to me! What I did was, I criticized everyone else until I felt better.
Go to har habayis
Peek at birkat cohanim. I’m soooo curious…
@everyone: If we found out that we aren’t Jewish non of the above would apply to us. So this whole thing is moot.
I would cry.
lol at Veltz
I’d go daven in a noisy shul and talk through the whole davening.
what a horrible thought.
Funnybone is now tied for first with gotbeer.
I would post on shabbos.
>> What if you find out you’re Jewish, but just not frum.
>> What would you do then?
Coming from non — observant background it is very hard to give up most of worldly indulgences. Nevertheless, I do observe some commandments — I mostly observe Sabbath (do not use electricity, computer, do not write, do not use hot water). I observe most of kashrut and say some prayers.
Crying is acceptable for Jews but not a recommended recreational activity for everyone.
eat bacon with my cholent,
keep TWO days purim,
and text on shabbos
What if you found out you were Joseph?
PBA: I’d post inflammatory drivel on YWN.
I’d eat a cheeseburger with gid hanasheh meat cooked b’chaleiv imo with some camel meat wrapped in bacon on the side.
Also, I’d go to the beach, but I’m sure you kofrim already do that.
rf
“Also, I’d go to the beach, but I’m sure you kofrim already do that.”
Whoa buddy!!!
Eat strawberries.
Id get a blue Shirt
@DaasYochid, stawberries not kosher?
Strawberries are Kosher
The issue they are debating is the Bugs that infest the strawberries and what is required to get rid of them since the Bugs are not Kosher and How big or small the bugs are
(Bugs you can see with your naked eyes are not Kosher, Stuff Like Protozoa which require a microscope you dont need to worry about)
Zahavasdad, correct.
I would be happy and sad at the same time cuz on one hand, my aveiros were never aveiiros, on the other, y mitzvis were never mitzvos.
Ultimately, I would be sad cuz i think i did enuf teshuvah for my past mistakes.
I would start saying “sheasani kirtzoinoi” every morning. But I would probably pronounce it kirtzono.
You mean “sheasani goy”.
Such horrible answers! How can you even entertain the idea?! I would cry, but I wouldn’t, cus I wouldn’t have time if I wanted to do a geirus within a minute.
I don’t think I’d have the time to enjoy strawberries — I would attempt to start the conversion process ASAP!
If I found out such a thing, I know what Id do, Id keep a secret. I know people who were in such circumstances and they were all of a sudden treated very differently by the community, they were suddenly shunned and treated as person non grata and even after the problem was fixed, hurt feelings do not go away so easily
I wouldn’t believe it, my Jewfro can’t lie.
I would do teshuva for all the shabbosos I kept be’issur.
I would probably wait a bit before converting, to make sure I’m not just doing it because I can’t imagine not being jewish. I’d want to be jewish because of the special kesher with Hashem, not just because I can’t imagine life any other way.
Thank you I. M. Shluffin for changing the tone of the answers. These more recent answers a lot more acceptable.
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