Tagged: noticing things
April 3, 2012 9:06 pm at 9:06 pm #602785
Would you point it out te her?April 3, 2012 9:48 pm at 9:48 pm #865595DerechMember
Have her abused husband call the Shalom Task Force.April 4, 2012 12:21 am at 12:21 am #865596ToiParticipant
ya really, if this were the reverse ie. husband abusing wife, everyone here would tell her to call the cops. wife on husband- no biggy.April 4, 2012 1:24 am at 1:24 am #865597
if you can, why not? You can at least broach it once, bringing it to her attention. Or if there’s a sibling closer to her who can better speak to her?April 4, 2012 1:51 am at 1:51 am #865598
How is he being mistreated exactly?April 4, 2012 2:36 am at 2:36 am #865599oomisParticipant
Goq asks a good question. If your sib is 18 years older, maybe it is your perception that she is abusive. What is she doing that upsets you vis a vis her husband? If in fact she is being abusive, it does not to be addressed.April 4, 2012 2:53 am at 2:53 am #865600
why does mistreating mean abusing??April 4, 2012 2:57 am at 2:57 am #865601
Let me explain. I’m not talking abuse. I’m talking about a finer point. For example when she ask her husband to do something and he doesn’t jump to do it, she will be very negative to him by saying “you always are so lazy, why can’t you do something already?” Now he’s a husband that does so much, and she should appreciate it, not bash him if he doesn’t jump. Me saying something will just open up her eyes that she should be more positive and encouraging rather than negativeApril 4, 2012 3:16 am at 3:16 am #865602
if it will open her eyes, you definitely should. Some ppl will get defensive or upset though, just be prepared for that.April 4, 2012 3:35 am at 3:35 am #865603LogicianParticipant
Why is it different because its a sibling ?
If there’s a good chance your words will be taken in the right way, you should point such a thing out to anyone. And if not, don’t take liberties because its a sibling.
I have a sibling who does something similar. I don’t think she wants to hear from me, so I shut up.April 4, 2012 3:49 am at 3:49 am #865604
You need to THINK FIRST this is not your concern they have been married a long time and on some level it probably works, if u say something to your sister chances are she will resent it.April 4, 2012 4:03 am at 4:03 am #865605YatzmichMember
The best thing would be to “think first,” & not say anything. As a mature adult, your BI probably can figure out the right way to deal with it.April 4, 2012 5:50 am at 5:50 am #865606ToiParticipant
so he shouldnt call a task force? ok, my married sister has a husband who mistreats here. should i call sholom task force?April 4, 2012 7:28 am at 7:28 am #865607
I hear, Goq and Yatzmiach you have a point.April 4, 2012 7:28 am at 7:28 am #865608
And posting the question here is part of my “thinking first”April 4, 2012 2:04 pm at 2:04 pm #865609shmoelMember
Toi – definitely. He should call a task force. And take his children and run. Keep her away from the kids. Then get a proection order against her.April 4, 2012 2:49 pm at 2:49 pm #865610
TF especially in this case when there is such a disparity in your ages she will likely not listen to you at best and probably be very angry, stay away stay far away.April 4, 2012 3:41 pm at 3:41 pm #865611mytakeMember
I’m very close to my sibs and it’s perfectly normal in my family for one of us to mussar the other when we feel it’s necessary. Or if we’re in the mood of fight. Whatever. The point is, I would DEFINITELY say something. Don’t care how old or young she is.April 4, 2012 5:10 pm at 5:10 pm #865612yungerman1Participant
Its hard to tell you to not say anything to her, but the same way there is a mitzvah of ???? ????? there is also a mitvah to not say anything if you wont be listened to.
pba- No comment on the appropriate punishment for someone who mistreats their husband?
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