January 18, 2016 4:25 am at 4:25 am #617077DaMosheParticipant
I left a few months ago because I said the CR wasn’t making me a better person. Well, I heard a story last week from R’ Bender, that I think many from the CR could take a lesson from. I decided it was worth returning for to post this story:
A young boy joined Darchei Torah. His parents weren’t really frum, and he did not know all that much about Judaism. But the yeshiva took him in.
One day, the Rebbe walked in to find some boys teasing this boy. He asked what was going on, and was told, “He brought a snack that isn’t kosher!” The Rebbe asked, and the boy said, “My parents gave me this. They told me they checked, and it is kosher! Look, it even has an OU on it!”
The other boys jeered, “Yeah, it has an OU-D! It’s not Chalav Yisrael, which means you can’t eat it! Tell him, Rebbe, he’s eating food that’s no good!”
Now, Rabbi Bender said he knew that this Rebbe was extremely careful about Chalav Yisrael. For over 30 years, he had never eating anything dairy that was not chalav Yisrael. But he didn’t hesitate in this case. He walked over to the boy, and asked if he could have the candy bar. He made a brachah, and took a big bite.
I don’t know if I’ll be coming back for good. But I think this story is something that many here can learn from.January 18, 2016 4:52 am at 4:52 am #1133588The QueenParticipant
Thank you for your post.January 18, 2016 5:18 am at 5:18 am #1133589Little FroggieParticipant
Thank you for that one. And you should be coming back for good. Only good.
That Rebbi – he deserves his job! What a caring, sensitive, intelligent giant of a man!! Kudos to him!! May we have so many more like him!January 18, 2016 12:36 pm at 12:36 pm #1133590BarryLS1Participant
Nice story and very good chinuch.
As an aside, some OUD products are really parve and just dairy equipment.January 18, 2016 1:27 pm at 1:27 pm #1133591
Barry, some are not even dairy equipment. You have to be on top of it though, because of the label says D, they can change it to milchig without notice.January 18, 2016 2:34 pm at 2:34 pm #1133593nishtdayngesheftParticipant
The Rebbe stole the student’s candy?
Btw, even if the Rebbe was Will NSG to forgo his hskpada, wouldn’t there be a problem of hataras nedorim? It’s a nice story, but incomplete.January 18, 2016 2:42 pm at 2:42 pm #1133594
He asked him for the candy.
He walked over to the boy, and asked if he could have the candy bar.
He probably accepted his hanhagah of not eating cholov stam b’li neder.January 18, 2016 3:42 pm at 3:42 pm #1133595Todros GimpelParticipant
Very nice story.
It may be permitted to be Mechalel Shabbos to save another Jew from becoming non-frum. (See Mishna Brura O”H Siman 306 S”K 57)
Harav Yechezkel Abramsky ZT”L once made a phone call on Shabbos to save a frum girl school from closing down – as the other girl schools wouldn’t have kept the girls frum.
Of course, you need wide shoulders to be able to decide when to apply this hetter. This Rebbe obviously has them.January 18, 2016 6:04 pm at 6:04 pm #1133596oomisParticipant
Great story, great rebbie, great idea to come back to share it…January 18, 2016 9:40 pm at 9:40 pm #1133597B1g B0yParticipant
Children are very impressionable. Even a percieved slight on their fragile egoes can cause damage for years to come. Mechanchim have a tremendous responsibility. Here is a Mechanech who obviously recognizes and acts on his sense of responsibility.
Thank You for the uplifting story.January 19, 2016 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #1133598DaMosheParticipant
Thank you all for the kind response.
When R’ Bender told over the story, his point was to show the quality of Rabbeim that Darchei has.
I think that the CR can take something else from this. Different people have different shittos. In some cases, someone may deviate from the norm. This Rebbe showed us it’s better to give up your own chumros than to dare insult someone who holds a different way.
All too often, posters here insult others who see things differently. They are called all sorts of names, and their level of observance is called into question. It’s better to give up your own chumros than to insult people!January 19, 2016 8:00 pm at 8:00 pm #1133599JosephParticipant
it’s better to give up your own chumros
DM, for many their shitta is that refraining from consuming cholov stam isn’t merely a chumra but rather is ikkur halacha.January 19, 2016 8:01 pm at 8:01 pm #1133600
I don’t think the lesson to be learned is either of those two things.
It’s not about Darchei Torah, and it’s not about the CR.
It’s about sensitivity, and about being moser nefesh for the sake of a child.January 19, 2016 10:24 pm at 10:24 pm #1133601YW Moderator-42Moderator
Little Froggie wrote:
Kudos to him!!
Kudos are not cholov yisraelJanuary 19, 2016 10:41 pm at 10:41 pm #1133602
Kudos are not cholov yisrael
That’s why it was such a gadlus that he ate them.January 20, 2016 1:36 am at 1:36 am #1133603MammeleParticipant
I hope most people in the CR don’t get offended so easily. This is an anonymous forum after all, and I hope we’re not all kids.
For children, peer pressure from fellow classmates is everything, and being embarrassed in front of everybody is akin to taking their life. This Rebbe literally saved this boy’s life by doing damage control and returning his self worth to him. Looking at it from this perspective eating Chalav Stam is similar to a Hatzalah member driving to a call on Shabbos – if he’s so makpid on Chalov Yisroel.January 24, 2016 11:09 pm at 11:09 pm #1133604pcozMember
There is someone starting a ben pakuah herd in Australia on the basis basar b’chalav does not apply to it.January 24, 2016 11:26 pm at 11:26 pm #1133605January 25, 2016 2:30 am at 2:30 am #1133606kneidelParticipant
And so the kids learned that you don’t have to adhere to chumros at all times….January 25, 2016 4:04 pm at 4:04 pm #1133607Sam2Participant
The Ben Pakua farm is old news and the guy in charge is just trying to fool people. He claimed that R’ Schachter endorsed it so R’ Schachter had to publicly state that no such thing ever happened and that he disagrees with the Halachic ability to have the farm.January 25, 2016 4:33 pm at 4:33 pm #1133608cherrybimParticipant
I once heard from a great Rov that there is room to permit chillul shabbos in order to avoid an incident where someone is going to definitely be publicly embarrassed by someone. Kal v’chomer, to eat cholov stam.January 25, 2016 5:59 pm at 5:59 pm #1133609emeslaamitoParticipant
Is there a reason why these kids were not suspended for a week and made to write an essay on Onaa’as Devarim and Ahavas Yisroel? The Rebbe did what he had to do b’shaas ma’aseh and should be commended, but this story is sickening. I hope there is a postscript of severe discipline involved, to stop that type of horrendous hashkafa in it’s tracks. Their chumros of Chalav Yisroel are so worthless when they act like that towards a fellow Jew who may not be as ‘Frum’ as them.January 25, 2016 6:03 pm at 6:03 pm #1133610Bookworm120Participant
Thank you so much for sharing this story, DaMoshe.January 25, 2016 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #1133612
Seeing the Rebbe take a bite out of the food they were mocking is a more effective lesson than a punishment would be. Punishing children severely just sets them against the person who punished them, and the lesson they learn is to be careful not to get caught.January 25, 2016 6:43 pm at 6:43 pm #1133613emeslaamitoParticipant
THEY WEREN’T MOCKING THE FOOD THEY WERE MOCKING THE CHILD AND HIS PARENTS!January 25, 2016 6:56 pm at 6:56 pm #1133614
SO DO YOU THINK HE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN A BITE OUT OF THE CHILD AND HIS PARENTS?!January 25, 2016 7:37 pm at 7:37 pm #1133615
So I accidentally left out a few words, thereby technically changing the meaning of the sentence. You knew what I meant. AND I CAN SHOUT TOO, YOU KNOW! WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT! BUT IT DOES NOT ADD CREDENCE TO WHAT YOU SAY!January 25, 2016 11:32 pm at 11:32 pm #1133616
So I accidentally left out a few words, thereby technically changing the meaning of the sentence. You knew what I meant.
To be fair, you do that very often.January 25, 2016 11:37 pm at 11:37 pm #1133617
What I do or don’t do at other times is irrelevant in this case.January 25, 2016 11:48 pm at 11:48 pm #1133618
Why? Do you think it’s okay for you to maintain a double standard?January 25, 2016 11:52 pm at 11:52 pm #1133619
Did you accidentally leave out words, thereby changing the meaning of the sentence in a way that it could no longer be understood in its intended meaning? Because if I leave out words at other times, it’s not a double standard if I do it now. Were you implying that it is? I don’t think I understand you.January 25, 2016 11:55 pm at 11:55 pm #1133620
You take other posters’ posts too literally very often.January 26, 2016 12:17 am at 12:17 am #1133621
The meaning of my sentence, while changed accidentally from what I intended to say, is still correct. They were mocking the child and the snack.January 27, 2016 2:23 am at 2:23 am #1133622☢️ 🚭 ☣️ Rand0m3x 🧠🕴️🎲Participant
This reminds me of a story about R’ Reuven Grozovsky talking
with his tefillin on to make someone more comfortable.
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