November 22, 2013 4:19 am at 4:19 am #611354
Hi. I know that many people won’t enjoy this thread but as a bt that nearly went off the derech on numerous occasions and a few days ago finally figured out why, I think its worth sharing. I do consider myself a bais yaakov girl looking for a blat hat shidduch, but although bais yaakov is wonderful, for me, the hashkafic aspect was extremely difficult. For example, I personally have always loved listening to music. Over the past two and a half years, I have been either made to self loathe myself and guilty for listening to non jewish rap or caused myself health issues because I caved in to everyone’s demands that my hashkafa resemble Rebbetzin Batsheva Kanievsky. That is not me, or many girls. For years, I have been considered a good girl, but the yeshiva bochur your thinking of for my shidduch from bmg or telz or most other yeshivas is not for me. And in fact I don’t mind a learning boy, but I need a spouse who won’t judge me like most of my yeshivish friends would if they knew I listened to 50 cent. Maybe even someone who listens to that stuff themselves.November 22, 2013 7:48 am at 7:48 am #989048–Participant
I was with you until you mentioned 50 Cent.November 22, 2013 11:15 am at 11:15 am #989049takahmamashParticipant
50 cent came to Israel and changed his name to NIS 1.78.November 22, 2013 1:32 pm at 1:32 pm #989050
50 cent although true for me is a metaphor for non jewish music….November 22, 2013 1:51 pm at 1:51 pm #989051Veltz MeshugenerMember
Dash, if you were with her until she mentioned 50 Cent, you weren’t with her at all.
Takahmamash, legit LOL.
Vogue, most pop hashkafah is just blather concocted by people who wish to avoid the responsibility of thinking. I don’t know if you are smarter than that but at least you’re more likely to be than the people who create a hashkafah out of thin air and then assume that Hashem conforms to it.
It’s a constant problem in the yeshivish world that everyone has to pretend to be something they’re not. It guarantees that while people can be many things, one thing they cannot be is honest. For example, when I was in shidduchim, everyone knew that if you wanted to learn for a couple years, you would say, five years. If you wanted to learn for five years, you would say ten. If you wanted to learn for ten years, you’d say forever, etc. If you watched movies, you’d say you like to play ball, and if you liked to play ball but didn’t watch movies, you’d say you wanted to learn for ten years. That would be fine except that there are other interests that people have and the rules are not as neat for those things. If you wanted to portray yourself as being no-nonsense and straightforward, you were out of luck.November 22, 2013 2:18 pm at 2:18 pm #989052
Vogue, I really feel for you.
What Veltz M explained is true. There’s a lot of dishonesty and masquerading (not just on Purim) in “frum” society. There’s also a lot of emphasis placed on things that are silly and unimportant. The games played in shidduchim can be especially offensive.
It would be a terrible thing if all of this pushes you away from the strides you have taken to keep yourself from going off the derech.
“To thine own self be true.”
If you really are a straightforward person, then don’t feel, as Veltz M told you, that you’re out of luck. If this is who you are then be honest with yourself first. Concentrate on the parts of Yiddishkeit that are truly essential and that resonate in your heart. Focusing on what music you listen to is not one of the fundamentals of Yiddishkeit. Find meaning in serving your Creator to the best of your abilities, in caring for the Neshama within you, and in observing the Mitzvos, such as Shmiras Shabbos, that define you as a Jew. Try to find like-minded friends, and try to find it in your heart to forgive the people who want to box you into their idea of a nice bais yakov mold, and out of true fulfillment in being the good person you are.November 22, 2013 6:05 pm at 6:05 pm #989053littleappleMember
Vogue -A public school kid once asked me why Judaism has so many commandments, other religions are so much easier to keep? I answered by pointing out that the human brain is the most complex known thing in the universe, it has more connectors than the entire communications system on earth today, one human brain! We believe that the same G-d that created the brain gave the Torah, the instruction manual for the brain. What makes more sense a few easy to follow instructions or a complex, deep involved system? When it comes to music it is clear to everyone that there is good and bad music, and some has an amazing way to go deep into our brains. My advice is to be true to yourself and set borders, do not accept everything, but do not worry about detractors and ask for help from Above. Have a great Shabbos!November 22, 2013 7:34 pm at 7:34 pm #989054
There’s a long way between not listening to 50 cent and becoming Rebbetzin Kanievsky.
And how would not listening to non-Jewish rap cause you health issues?November 22, 2013 9:15 pm at 9:15 pm #989055🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
I think that people have to distinguish between the things that they FEEL are being asked and imposed of them, and the things that really are. If someone tells you how the Rebbitzin behaved and that you should strive for it, they weren’t meaning tomorrow. There are people that we need to look up to and consider leaders, and that doesn’t mean BEING them, in means using them as your guide and compass.
You have to monitor yourself and always be moving forward. There are plenty of people out there who are willing to accept people doing different things then them, if they themselves are respected for their levels as well. For example, if you are going to listen to 50 cents, please don’t do it while I am in the car with you. And don’t tell my kids that it’s really too bad they aren’t allowed to listen to it because they are missing out. See what I mean? It isn’t what you are DOING, it is what you are striving to be and how you present yourself.
And every day is a new day.November 24, 2013 12:55 am at 12:55 am #989056ultimateskierMember
we just had a speech in school on the topic of music by rabbi menachem nissel and he actually believe it or not used to listen to non jewish music. i suggest you talk to him, he gave very practical down to earth advice and reasoning. none of the cliche talk he actually sings well as we all were privy to hear 😉November 24, 2013 1:35 am at 1:35 am #989057
Vogue: You don’t need to be what anyone else tells you to be. You don’t need to marry a BMG guy or give up what you like
- to please others
. [ATT MODS: I stink at the codes- can you correct this to either italics or underlining if I did it wrong? Thanks loads and gut voch!] If you decide on your own, for good reasons, that you don’t think that rap or reggae or what have you is good music for you to listen to, then you’ll find plenty of people who agree with you. There are many speakers, like Rabbi Nissel mentioned by ultimateskier, who may convince you. (Happens to be he didn’t really do it for me, but that’s a story for a whole different day. Everyone works differently.) But if you’re doing it for the peer pressure, then that just causes resentment. Like VM said, there is a lot of peer pressure that is absolutely not lesheim shamayim, peer pressure that is for completely the wrong motives and really destructive, as you’ve noticed for yourself. No real, true change can come from anywhere but within. There can be a spark from outside, but if you don’t feel an inner conviction, it won’t go anywhere.
The chumra-of-the-month club has many many actively recruiting members. When they try to send you this month’s new shipment, make sure they don’t hit your address.
I don’t listen to rap, and it’s just really not my style, but I’ve had people tell me that some things that I listen to weren’t kosher, such as (memorably) one respected rov who said that classical music was tamei. Maybe in twenty years I’ll see his point of view (I’m skeptical, but hey, you never know). Right now, though, if I tried to assimilate that perspective and stop listening to Mozart, I’d be a seething mass of disbelief and resentment (and that’s not a metaphor or hyperbole- ask anyone who knows me, that’s literally how I’d act) because that’s just not me and not how I think. It doesn’t matter how truly righteous and correct anyone’s opinion may be- until I really, truly buy it, it’s just a no go. But you know that already. Remember, nobody can “impose” hashkafa on you. Hashkafa is your viewpoint, and even two people looking at the same thing from the same location will by necessity see things slightly differently.November 24, 2013 2:17 am at 2:17 am #989058
I hear. I am actually quite well networked with great kiruv personalities that would never box me into a hashkafa, both in Eretz Yisroel and in America. But the thing is that while a specific method of kiruv might strike me as a good hashkafa because they are geniune about it and raise their children with the hashkafa they impart on their audiences, within kiruv, there are a number of different ways to go about it and sometimes I feel like the only way to be accepted by the kahal with my hashkafa is to do kiruv, but I don’t find myself being in kiruv. At least rightnow. And at the same time, because I am not an ffb, although I am not in cherem nor do I anticipate being in cherem, I feel like I have nobody to talk to because my support system is falling apart… and the person I would have consulted a week before this happened for reasons I can’t mention, I can’t consult… I know I will get through it. But at the moment I don’t have a rabbi.November 24, 2013 3:17 am at 3:17 am #989059WIYMember
As far as music goes rap is the worst stuff for your neshama. I have posted about this before but bekitzur it is horribly destructive and I personally saw a good friend go into a depression and end up off the derech almost exclusively from listening to rap music. It literally is poison for the soul. Not to mention that usually the people who make rap music are from the lowest dregs of society (some are murderers and rapists…) so you are putting their filthy soul into your pure holy soul. Please you have to give up the rap. It is definitely ruining you.November 24, 2013 4:02 am at 4:02 am #989060littleappleMember
Don’t go without a support network, there is lots available. Anonymous helplines like Yitty Leibel helpline 718 435 7669, and recognized Rabbanim and Rebbetzins who have helped many others find stability. Gut voch .November 24, 2013 4:14 am at 4:14 am #989061
I have also seen frum people listen to wrap music and use it as inspiration after a hard day of learning. I use it to cope. Rap is expressive. Most jewish songs although nice and beautiful, are not truly expressive of the raging hormones of a young aduly. They may be criminals, but one thing I can tell you is that they are expressive and I need to learn to be more expressive. Bottling emotions and pretending to be someone I am not and pretending to fit into a cookie cutter mold is what got me out of this mess. Being expressive and breaking apart that metal that shaped me into a pleated skirt and cardigan that has no hobbies or passions breaking out of that will get me out. I like dresses. Yet the cookie cutter told me I needed to wear a skirt under my dresses without a skirt I was incomplete. The cookie cutter told me maxi dresses were assur. Clearly wearing a dress that is long enough for me to wear shorter socks that don’t go up to my thighs but rather are like the ones at target should not be an aveira if there are no leggings to go with them. You know, its actually funny, but last I checked, junees started selling colorful skirts and everyone has been buying them. Clearly something is changing in heimishe society and its not just me.November 24, 2013 4:25 am at 4:25 am #989062
mods, do you really not read my posts…?
WIY: I feel like I asked you this before, but how can you know that someone went off the derech almost solely due to rap, and how can you extrapolate that scenario to others?
post customizations are $3.99 a postNovember 24, 2013 6:06 am at 6:06 am #989063
Also all you guys are doing is bashing me and clearly nobody agrees with me. The posts about how rap music is bad is like an attempt to reduce me from dress to skirt and cardigan.November 24, 2013 7:09 am at 7:09 am #989064MDGParticipant
Hashkafa is a way that people use to wrongly look down on others or control others (which is also looking down).
Actually haskafa means “condescension” – from Rashi in vayera.November 24, 2013 11:18 am at 11:18 am #989065
Vogue, “all you guys are doing is bashing me…”?!?
Clearly you can’t be bothered to read your responses.
Turn down the volume for 5 minutes and do us the favor of taking the time to read what we took the time to write.November 24, 2013 12:26 pm at 12:26 pm #989066dschecht613Member
I think that you are reading to much into what people are saying/ writing. While I do not agree with Rap music, that is your choice.
As for colorful skirts/ maxi dresses. There is nothing wrong with color, you do not have to be a bais yaakov girl, if you do not want to be there are plenty of frum girls who are not bais yaakov and wear color. Do not let anyone impose there hashkafic values on you. Hashkafa is really a thought process, it is how you view things in light of the Torah.
There is a great blog out there called praticalhalacha its done through wordpress. It might give you some insight into different ideas.
I think that WIY-really disagrees with rap music in general.
An idea that might help you here is if you feel the need to express your bottled up emotions start writing. That will also help you decompress and then afterwards you can look back at what you wrote and see where you have grown.
Good Luck with everything.November 24, 2013 2:19 pm at 2:19 pm #989067
I’m still confused. How would not listening to rap affect someone’s health in a negative way?
Vogue, no one is “beating up” on you. It’s possible that your own guilt feelings that are making you feel threatened.
Being asked to clarify what you said, or being challenged on an opinion you stated, is part of normal online communication.November 24, 2013 8:58 pm at 8:58 pm #989068
Only Reb. Kanievsky Z”L was Reb. Kanievsky. You have to be the best YOU and no one else. Learn from the middos of people whom you admire, but retain your own spirit and personality. Nothing that happens instantaneously tends to last. Every new middah that you accept on yourself is precious, and you don’t need to do it all at once. Make certain things a part of your world slowly, and bit by bit they will be permanent aspects of your observance.
I am not telling you to listen to or NOT listen to the type of music you like. I am advising you that there is always room for growth in all of us, and what you are not ready for today, may be something that you will eagerly incorporate into your hashkafa tomorrow. Do the best you can and make your observance NOW count, even if you are listening to music that some people feel is wrong for you. Many people feel it is wrong to listen to ANY secular music of any type, even classical music. Does that make all of us who do listen to it, NOT frum??????November 24, 2013 10:23 pm at 10:23 pm #989069TRUEBTParticipant
Sorry that you feel you are being bashed. I am not going to bash you. I went through the same thing. Let’s start with a BT joke.
A BT goes to an Orthodox Rabbi and asks, “Do I need to say Hallel on Thanksgiving?” The Rabbi asks, “What’s Thanksgiving?” So the BT realizes that this Rabbi isn’t going to be able to posken this Shayla, so the BT goes back to the reform Rabbi he grew up with and asks her, “Do I need to say Hallel on Thanksgiving?” She says, “What’s Hallel?” (Hope that makes you feel a little better.)
Oomis made a good point, and asked a good question. Let me try to answer it.
The first principle of doing Tshuva is that it takes time. You can’t go from dancing in clubs one week to not listening to goyishe music the next. I met people who tried it, and a week after they stopped listening to the goyishe music, they were back in the clubs dancing. So the question is, “how long should it take me?” and the answer is it varies from person to person and from hashkafa to hashkafa. In other words, the first GOAL is to acknowledge that listening to the rap music is bad for your neshama. The second GOAL is to start listening less or going cold turkey or whatever works. and guess what’s going to happen after that? You’re going to get really upset about something one day and you’re going to start listening to it again. It’s a battle you will need to fight your whole life. I asked one of my Rebbeim about this once and he told me that as long as you are doing you’re best, then that’s all Hashem wants from you. The FFB’s can talk about this dress or that chumra, but remember 2 things. First they grew up listening to frum music. Second, most of their friends and relatives are doing it too. Because of that, it’s a lot easier for them. Cookie cutter works great when all your friends and relatives do it too. Don’t get upset at them if they can’t figure out why you listen to rap. It’s easy for them to avoid this. You can do yourself a big favor and hide the fact that you listen to this music from the frum public.
Oomis asks whether people who listen to rap are not part of frum society because frum society rejects rap music. Anyone who accepts that they’re not supposed to be listening to this music is just as frum as anybody else. Let me give an example. Is anyone who speaks loshon Hara not frum? Now the answer is obvious. We all speak loshon hara. If you accept that it’s wrong, then you are frum. If you think it’s O.K. to speak loshon hara, then you aren’t. My experience was that sooner or later an opportunity comes along to break the Yetzer Hara for listening to music (or speaking loshon Hara ). The question is how will you react to that opportunity. Will you say, “Wow, this is my big chance to break that bad habit?” For instance, Sefira or the three weeks can be golden opportunities to make progress from wherever you happen to be holding vis-a-vis goyishe music.
Therefore you probably shouldn’t marry an FFB. They’re probably not going to understand that you need to listen to rap. Even if they do, their families won’t. They struggle with different challenges than we do.
Here’s one more thing that worked for me. When I became frum, I decided to NEVER accept any Chumras. Zero. Even though there are plenty of chumras that I keep, I always do it Bli Neder. I keep Chumras because I find myself in the company of other people who are doing them. I do it to fit in. To use this approach, you need to know what the halacha requires you to do and where the halacha ends and where the chumra begins. And that is another project that you will need to work on for the rest of your life – clarifying what the halacha says about everything from rap music to black stockings. It definitely helps to have somebody to ask. If you don’t have a Rabbi, then call Lisa at the N’vei Yerushalyim office in New York. (I assume you’re in New York.) She’s very open and accepting. She can be your support system temporarily while she finds a different Rav for you.
Anyways, I admire you for wanting to do the right thing.November 24, 2013 10:53 pm at 10:53 pm #989070
Oomis asks whether people who listen to rap are not part of frum society because frum society rejects rap music. “
I appreciate your intention, but I NEVER specified rap music (I personally happen to dislike hearing it, because it annoys me and is often degrading to women). In fact, I singled out CLASSICAL music (i.e., Mozart, Beethoven, etc), as being something that some segments of frum Jews reject because it is secular music (which they rejct across the board), yet many frum people enjoy. IMO, there is no moral equivalence between listening to beautiful secular music and speaking loshon hara. I want to make that very clear. The Torah flat-out assers L”H. I never heard a p’sak of issur on hearing “The Moonlight Sonata.”
I also have a little issue with your statement about a BT not marrying an FFB because that person and the family will not be likely to understand the need for the OP to listen to rap music. I am an FFB and married a BT. And while he didn’t ever listen to rap music, there were other things in his life that some people would find hard to deal with (such as having several close family members who married non-Jews, unfortunately). Neither my parents nor I ever thought less of HIM for continuing to have a relationship with those close family members. You cannot know how FFBs OR their families will react in a given situation. I would hope they would want to be mechazeik and mekareiv the BT who enters their chevra. No one can speak for every FFB. We come in all sizes, shapes, and hashkafos.
Otherwise, I agree with much of the rest of the things you posted, TrueBT.November 25, 2013 12:12 am at 12:12 am #989071
I didn’t like the suggestion that a BT and an FFB shouldn’t marry. We have enough phobias and and biases clogging up the shidduch pipeline without adding another one. Especially one that doesn’t make sense (in most instances).
But I couldn’t post my disapproval with the credibility you bring to the table by having (GASP!) actually gone ahead and married a BT. I’m sure the 2 of you have a beautiful home. And hope you continue to enjoy a wonderful marriage for many years to come.November 25, 2013 12:39 am at 12:39 am #989072TRUEBTParticipant
Yes, I did misunderstand you about meaning only classical music. Dr. Gottleib of Ohr Sameach listens to classical music, so you are in good company. My comparison was rap and Loshon Hara.
As far as BT’s dating FFB’s, I still disagree with you. Perhaps after she stops listening to rap, she could think about dating an FFB. Until then, the chance of her getting the respect and admiration of an FFB is very small. The chance of her getting the respect and admiration of his parents is close to zero. She is better off finding somebody who wants her to melt (pareve) cheese on his hamburgers – and who will support her when she wants/needs to listen to rap. Hopefully, they will grow together.November 25, 2013 2:17 am at 2:17 am #989073
Truebt, if you are what your name claims, is it possible there’s a little reverse discrimination going on here? Are you sure you want to lump all FFB husbands and mothers-in-law into one intolerant, intransigent group?November 25, 2013 3:31 am at 3:31 am #989074
Actually there are ffb people who listen to rap music. There are ffb girls my age from bais yaakovs who have watched tv. People aren’t so sheltered. My kids when I have them will be ffbs my husband will wear a black hat, there won’t be a tv in the house, but there will be internet and I will have an ipod, maybe a smartphone, and stuff like that and he my husband whoever he is might be open to that as well. Its called “modern yeshivish”.November 25, 2013 10:36 am at 10:36 am #989075dschecht613Member
Vogue: You are right there are many FFB’s who have grown up with non- jewish music and tv. Our point is don’t let others dictate to you what your level of growth is or where you should be holding.
TRUEBT and Oosmis made good points. Find your self a rav, and grow at your own point. There is no issur against non-jewish music most of us just feel that it is not good for your neshoma.
There is nothing wrong with a BT marrying an FFB or vice versa. Everyone has different challenges but that does not mean that we cannot be accepting of other peoples challanges.
DinaNovember 25, 2013 12:46 pm at 12:46 pm #989076
Vouge – hashkafa is an artificial system that drags us away from the tachlis of life. Instead of worrying which hashkafa you fit into, or what demands different ones make of you, focus instead of what the actual halacha is and where you are holding (as well as were you want your life to go) within the bounds of HALACHA. When looking for your husband try to find somebody who best matches that. You may have a perfect picture in your mind of exactly how your home will look once your married but you’d be shocked how much more you (and your husband) will find yourselves and develop in ways you’d never expect after the wedding (whether to the right, left, or both). The (Jewish) world is the way it is and neither you nor I are going to change it any time soon so just life as best you can according to real halacha, try to connect to Hashem as best you can in life and ignore all the rest – it will only make you frustrated/bitter.November 25, 2013 1:13 pm at 1:13 pm #989077
Also, I’d like to give you some advice regarding rap music. PLEASE – don’t take this as bashing you because if you know where I came from you’d know I’m not judging you at all. I came from a very far off family (not even Reform) and used to be obsessed with rap. Before I had ever even heard the words “Shabbat” or “Pesach” I already knew every single Cypress Hill album “Baal Peh” as well as multiple NWA, Ice Cube and Snoop Dogg albums and others (while I was doing t’shuva in college I’d tuck in my tzitzit and put on a baseball cap and go to concerts like Ice Cube). As much as you like rap, I’m pretty sure I probably liked it more than you. I understand what a HUGE struggle it is to not listen to non-Jewish music because in my opinion most frum music sucks by comparison and it’s taken me years to finally find some cd’s/bands of Jewish music I actually like better than the non-Jewish stuff.November 25, 2013 1:15 pm at 1:15 pm #989078
I’m not telling you this as a BY teacher or a Rav or something, but as somebody who has been there themselves -I listened to rap from when I was a little kid for like 15 years. It’s like a drug. You may be very desensitized but every now and then I listen to some rap after not having heard it for a long time and I feel really dirty afterwards. It’s not a guilty feeling like, “Oh no! I’m going to burn!” It’s more a feeling like I just dipped my neshama in the toilet. And I can tell you I actually still like rap music and find some of the lyrics to be really deep and applicable to my life! Even though I still to this day find those good points in rap, something deep in my soul just feels grossed out with it, but it took weaning myself off of it and a lot of growing closer to Hashem.November 25, 2013 1:24 pm at 1:24 pm #989079
I’m really sorry if it sounds like I’m giving you mussar because I don’t mean it to come off as that but also as a girl you should seriously think of how these lyrics treat women. As a girl, in rap you are treated as nothing better than a filthy animal whose soul purpose is to debase yourself for someone’s physical pleasure and to get called horrible names in the process. Music, whether Jewish or not, touches a very deep spiritual place in us and affects our attitude. After listening to rap I feel more aggressive, angry, and full of taivos. I’m not sure how it makes you feel as a girl but the subliminal message of teaching you to just make your self a meat-stick def isn’t spiritually healthy. So don’t do it because your teachers say so, or even because I do, but for your own neshama’s sake try looking into cleaner music. Maybe you could find something with similar beats but fewer or no lyrics. Like I said, there is much good Jewish music out there, and basically no good Jewish rap, but it’s worth the struggle. Try learning the 3rd lesson in Lekutei Moharan for a deeper look into how music affects us spiritually.November 25, 2013 4:49 pm at 4:49 pm #989080
I hear. And I know what the lyrics say about women. I focus on the beats instead of the lyrics.November 25, 2013 5:14 pm at 5:14 pm #989081
And hope you continue to enjoy a wonderful marriage for many years to come. “
Amein and thank you very much for that wonderful bracha!November 25, 2013 5:15 pm at 5:15 pm #989082
I’m still curious about how a rap deficiency could impact health.November 25, 2013 5:26 pm at 5:26 pm #989083
TrueBT – I reiterate, FFB and their mishpachos come in ALL types, from the very machmir Yeshivish, to Modern frum who keep Shabbos, KAshrus, Taharas Hamishpacha, daven every day, AND ALSO LISTEN TO SECULAR MUSIC OF EVERY TYPE. They will not discriminate against a sincere BT for listening to music that OTHER types of frum Jews find inappropriate. There are many shades of gray and we are not so elitist that we have the right to disparage someone who is an observant Jew.
Because I personally dislike it, I do not particularly endorse rap music for ANYBODY, Jew or not Jew, though certain types of it are catchy, and like anything else, can be used to elevate or lower us. We should not be negatively judgmental of someone who is in transition and enjoys this. My husband used to love to listen to Motown music (me, not so much, it’s not my thing). Both of us like the beat of Reggae music. Al taam v’rayach ein l’hitvakayach.November 25, 2013 5:27 pm at 5:27 pm #989084
Can’t answer that. That isn’t something that can be applied universally. But if you knew me in real life and were in my inner circle, I would be able to tell you.November 25, 2013 5:32 pm at 5:32 pm #989085
I’m really sorry if it sounds like I’m giving you mussar because I don’t mean it to come off as that but also as a girl you should seriously think of how these lyrics treat women. As a girl, in rap you are treated as nothing better than a filthy animal whose soul purpose is to debase yourself for someone’s physical pleasure and to get called horrible names in the process. Music, whether Jewish or not, touches a very deep spiritual place in us and affects our attitude.”
VERY well-expressed, Assurnet.This is my main criticism of this type of “music,” also. And the last sentence should be re-read.November 25, 2013 5:35 pm at 5:35 pm #989086
Vogue, I don’t believe it. If anything, rap negatively affects people’s health in all the studies I’ve read. Unless you want higher blood pressure.November 25, 2013 5:54 pm at 5:54 pm #989087WIYMember
I know someone who upon swallowing sweetened poison he focuses on the taste not the poison. For some he just keeps ending up in the emergency room.November 25, 2013 8:10 pm at 8:10 pm #989088
WIY – interesting mashalNovember 25, 2013 8:58 pm at 8:58 pm #989089
Again, I can’t explain it because it would give me away. My friends are ultra chill about it when I explain it within the context of my medical issue. Last year, I had a psychologically induced physiological injury so this is one of the ways I discovered I could care for thr injury the otherone someone is helping me out with.November 26, 2013 3:31 pm at 3:31 pm #989090zahavasdadParticipant
I have found this thread to be very disturbing
People are focusing on one minor issue (Some here call it Major, but its really not) instead of the bigger picture. People are trying to micromanage someones life. Not everyone likes the same things accept that. Sometimes when you micromanage someone the whole house collapses.November 26, 2013 11:27 pm at 11:27 pm #989091
zd: I had a post saying the same thing. I wonder what happened to it.
Anyway, I agree with you 100%. It’s not only that people are pressuring her, it’s that she feels pressured to follow those people. You can only move so fast without tripping and falling- move through things at a pace that feels right and natural. You are not Rebbetzin Kanievsky and she was not you. Listen to rap or don’t, but what other people say about it is not the point. Listen to them, but assimilate the information, if you so choose, at the rate that makes sense internally.
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