January 10, 2012 7:49 pm at 7:49 pm #601571photogenicMember
I am currently in the dating parsha, as well as I feel, many others on this site. Sometimes it can be hard, we can feel disillusioned, as well as not sure when we will see the light at the end of the tunnel. I want to start a thread, where we can share stories that happened to people we know and ourselves, whether we have found our Bashert, or will I”YH, in order to share inspiration and hope.
I know we currently have a “Funny Shidduch Stories Thread”, so why not start an “Inspirational/Chizzuk Shidduch Thread?”
I will start with this story. A good friend of mine has been dating for many years, she is in her mid-30’s. She is a doll of a girl and is a very special, kind person. She got engaged B”H a month ago and told me how she was lead up to this. Not many people knew that she has bouts of Depression and she was having a hard time with that. She went out with her Chosson a few years ago and did not feel that it was the right time for her to get into an intimate relationship. They also both felt that it wasnt Shayich at that time.
She worked on herself extensively and started to change the way she felt about herself, Judiasm, Hashem, and things that occured to her daily. She became a much more positive and spiritual person. And then he was suggested to her again. Since it was the right time for both of them, Hashem gave them the clarity and ability to make a strong connection. It goes to show that at the right time, the right one will come from Hashem, and the more focused we are on that, the more we will see Yad Hashem in the process.
Others are welcome to share!January 11, 2012 7:08 pm at 7:08 pm #996487
Come on people!
I hear there is a shidduch crisis, but the crisis is not exactly 9/11.
There must be SOME stories of inspiration! Perspiration?
It’s been nearly 24 hours already since this thread started.
How about stories on how you, as a married person, met your spouse. Indirectly, that could be
inspiring and we singles can all learn from that.January 12, 2012 12:48 am at 12:48 am #996488littleappleMember
OK I know someone who met his wife on a singles shabbaton where there were a range of Jews religiously speaking MO to Yeshivish, BT and FFB, etc. So much so that there was some activities that were not for everybody for instance they had Motzai Shabbos square dancing. He opted out and went to the hotel lobby and just stared at the fireplace there when suddenly a female voice asked him, “Are they really supposed to be doing that downstairs?” She meant the mixed dancing, anyway they started talking and it turned into his shidduch/beshert. – I thought(when I heard the story) wow all the ones who would say why not try it, it’s not disco you have to put in hishtadlus for your shidduch no it turned out the right hishtadlus was keeping shtark and true to your derech.
Hatzlacha to all singles may you find shidduchim hagonim b’karov.January 12, 2012 1:14 am at 1:14 am #996489Emunas ItechaMember
Photogenic- I LOOOOOOVE the idea of this thread!!! Thank you both for sharing the stories. Lets hear some more!January 12, 2012 2:07 am at 2:07 am #996490photogenicMember
BTGuy, I want to give you Hakaras Hatov, for bumping up this thread. I noticed it disappearing in the wildnerness of the Coffee Room, yet felt a tad awkward doing anything about it. And for those who subsequently responded-thank you too!
I am -at the moment-still single, but B”EH when I get engaged to my Bashert, I plan on sharing the story and any inspirational and Chizzuk messages that have occured throughout the whole process. They say that in Shidduchim is where we see Yad Hashem and Hashems plan most revealed to us-through the entire trip! We just have to keep our eyes open.
Stories I especially like is how it is obvious that Hashems Hasgacha was involved, even when the situation seemed bleak.January 12, 2012 2:10 am at 2:10 am #996491Think firstMember
Well there’s this guy who goes out with my sister and they both realized after a few dates that they weren’t the same type. However at the end of the date he was inquiring about a lot of things that one would only do if he’s interested. Although she thought it strange she was polite and discussed with him the topic he brought up. Anyhow this fellow calls his friend (my brother inlaw today) and says I have a girl for you. Well you see here how every date gets us closer to our bashert although it may not be so clear as thois story. May we all find our basherts with ease. Amen.January 12, 2012 3:48 am at 3:48 am #996492kapustaParticipant
I know two people who got engaged in the past number of weeks that, for different reasons, were likely not at the top of a shadchans list. G-d has a different list.
I am -at the moment
I love the way you wrote that. Its so… optimistic.
Good thread, btw.January 12, 2012 6:04 am at 6:04 am #996493Think firstMember
Maybe we can post resumes with all info besides the names and we may be able to make some shidduchim right here. The mods would be the shadchanim. What do you think?January 12, 2012 7:05 pm at 7:05 pm #996494
Oh, no problem. Your post was well thought out and had a positive spin on an topic that is important, but too many times filled with expressions of frustration. I wanted to read what people had to say. Already, I think your post is benefitting its’ readers. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing that story. There is a lot in there that I found encouraging. And it’s true….yet so easy to get frustrated over: stay true to your derech and what is suppose to happen will happen. Maybe we get in our own way by trying to bend, mold, and fit in to our idea of who we should look for and how we should present ourselves. Keeping it real seems to be the best way to go and your example underscores that well.January 12, 2012 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm #996495MiddlePathParticipant
photogenic, thanks for this great thread! And thank you for your story, as well as littleapple and Think first. Looking forward to more stories from people.January 12, 2012 8:46 pm at 8:46 pm #996496
Hi Think first.
That sounds like a good idea.
You know, posting in a moderated forum like this is not the worst way to get to begin to know someone.January 12, 2012 10:25 pm at 10:25 pm #996497littleappleMember
BTGuy: your welcome. btw i enjoy your posts, upbeat and to the point.January 13, 2012 3:49 pm at 3:49 pm #996498
In fact, I was thinking about what you posted on the way home from work yesterday and I have to say that was a really nice story you related. It had a simple purity to it that I found moving (in a masculine way.lol)
Thanks for what you said about my posts. I appreciate that.
Have a great Shabbos!
: DJuly 4, 2012 2:13 am at 2:13 am #996499
BUMP! More stories please!
SiDi™July 4, 2012 2:52 am at 2:52 am #996500147Participant
I know people who got married, because they went onto Frumster, and after they were engaged & married, various people who had known both sides exclaimed they simply had never thought up this match, but what an incredibly great match. ….. Meanwhile the couples who met on Frumster saved an arm & a leg in Shadchonus fees.
BTW:- Anyone & everyone in this coffee room is computer literate, and hence anyone reading this thread is capable of registering & going online on Frumster, with zero exceptions & zero excuses.July 4, 2012 3:01 am at 3:01 am #996501shmoelMember
That’s not correct. The married folks cannot use frumster.July 4, 2012 3:08 am at 3:08 am #996502
I was asked to work at a new camp program for kids with disabilities (completely secular environment). The director said they needed me full time and not to even think of taking early Fridays to travel for shidduchim. I was thrilled. After 6 years I got a whole month off of dating!!! I hated dating and because I grew up MO and became more yeshivish-ish I was considered a BT by the yeshivish guys and FFB by the BT’s. I was often fixed up with people waaaaay off from where I was holding. (I would travel to NY but only to date other OOTers) One of the male counselors was a border of the director. They talked him into working for them at the last minute, for the month before he left for Israel to learn. He was in cut offs and t-shirts and I had no idea what his story was (I was dating BMG guys). As time went on I realized this guy was more “frum” than I thought and was shtarker than my friends and I. He just hadn’t been ready to make that uniform change. Needless to say, four weeks later, without even a single date, I knew who my ‘other half’ was. If you saw how he was dressed when I met him you would NEVER have redt him to me. And I never would have said yes. Hashem certainly has his ways.July 4, 2012 4:32 am at 4:32 am #996504
left you speechless, did I?July 4, 2012 6:42 am at 6:42 am #996505mom12Participant
Its about time more people startd thinking out of the box..
or perhaps what will everyone say!?
a lot of MAZELand BRACHA!July 4, 2012 1:08 pm at 1:08 pm #996506
Syag: your story is amazing! It really sows how “we think and Hashem plans”! Thanks for the inspiration! May you and you’r “cut offs and t-shirt” husband have many happy years together!!July 4, 2012 1:48 pm at 1:48 pm #996507ChortkovParticipant
The Ben Ish Chai brings a story about SHidduchim:
A carpenter called Avrohom living in Yerushalayim had a large sum of money stolen from his house one night by a thief. The thief escaped to Ein Gedi desert, where he got lost and died of thirst. A guy called Eliyahu was touring Ein Gedi, found a Meis Mitzvah and buried him, taking the money for himself, before returning home to Bnei Brak and hiding the money in a hollow tree in his garden.
That day, his father died, and he forgot about the money. During the shiva week, a big storm uprooted the trees all over the neighborhood.
After the Shiva, it was Eliyahu’s job to provide money for the family, and he traveled to Jerusalem, looking for a job. He was hired as an apprentice by none other than … Avraham the Carpenter.
Avraham went to collect lumber from the lake, where all the fallen trees were lying. He opened up one, and found his money, lying in it’s original wallet. He told Eliyahu the miraculous story of how his money stolen from him was returned in a tree. Eliyahu told him HIS part of the story.
Avrohom insisted that Eliyahu should take the money, but Eliyahu refused. So, suspecting that Eliyahu was embarrased to take the money, he asked his wife to bake a cake and hide the money inside, and gave it to Eliyahu before Eliyahu’s holiday.
Eliyahu unsuspectingly took the cake, and rode on his horse and wagon out of Jerusalem. A border guard searched his carriage, saw the cake and asked to buy it. Eliyahu sold it to him.
Meanwhile, the guard went and gave the cake as a wedding gift that night… and you can guess who made the wedding. Avraham the CArpenter.
The conclusion was that Avraham, so impressed by the boy’s middos and charm, suggested that Eliyahu marry his daughter, and the happy couple took the money… and lived happily ever after…
INSPIRATIONAL???July 4, 2012 2:06 pm at 2:06 pm #996508
yekke2: thanks for that wonderful story! We may see things as being bad for us or what don’t understand why this or this happens. But the Master-planner has every single second from Berashis till the end of time planned out to the minute detail! It can really be humbling if one thinks about it!
SiDi™July 4, 2012 3:22 pm at 3:22 pm #996509
Thanks SiDi, it’s been 21 years. By the time he finished his months in yeshiva the cut offs (and grateful dead t-shirts) were history but I know I myself never would have grown an inch had I not married a BT in ‘growing mode’. As I think back I remember that I did alot by rote, I never learned alot about the musser and philosophy behind the mitzvos. I was so awed by how much he understood and the explanations he could give me for why certain things would bring you closer to Hashem. And during all that, in the back of my mind, I was still wanting to rush him into some of the outer changes that would make him look more like everyone else. Shame on me, I know. B”H I knew I was wrong and Hashem rewarded my patience with his changes, and my knowing how unimportant they really were.
Sorry for veering off course – – – you may proceed.July 4, 2012 6:32 pm at 6:32 pm #996510Yellow123Member
Oh what a fantastic thread. I know so many stories. My friend told me that a girl she knows went to work in a camp (maybe Camp Simcha). Anyways her camper was a lovely girl that had cancer. The counselor and camper kept in touch for many years, and one day the camper suggested her brother for her counselor. The couple just got married last week!!July 4, 2012 6:37 pm at 6:37 pm #996511golferParticipant
My husband & I are from similar backgrounds & met in the most ordinary way. Shidduch, shadchan, some dates, nothing at all extraordinary. I will not bore all of you with details of our subsequent marriage & years together. My point being- we don’t need to see amazing instances of unbelievable circumstances involving split-second timing & phenomenal happenings, to recognize and be inspired by G-d’s intervention in our daily lives. Every successful shidduch & marriage is an inspiration, and could not have occurred without Hashgacha that we may or may not distinguish.July 4, 2012 9:00 pm at 9:00 pm #996512midwesternerParticipant
Syag: I wrote some things about our recent shidduch. My in-house baking consultant told me I gave away too much info. It was still in the first 20 minutes, so I went in and deleted. I would’ve thought that if it’s blank, the Mods wouldn’t have bothered putting it up. Oh well!!July 4, 2012 10:25 pm at 10:25 pm #996513
golfer, you are right. Yet hearing stories about Hashacha Protis (any, for that matter) can help strengthen one’s Emunah. Especially by Shidduchim, where people find it very hard and don’t know why its taking so long, to hear stories where people went through the same (aggravating) process and you can see Yad Hashem, it can really give a boost of Chizuk.
You can always see Hashem in everything. Even the most “natural” thing. We just have to open our eyes…
SiDi™July 4, 2012 11:08 pm at 11:08 pm #996514penguinmomMember
I had just gone out on my worst shidduch ever. After this disaster, I resigned myself to the fact that I was just not ever going to find my bashert and decided to just live my life without worrying about the whole issue since it was clear that Hashem found me unworthy. Two days later, someone called with an idea for me. This one was my bashert! We have been happily married now for over 20 years, bli ayin hora. The crazy part is that BOTH boys were redt by the same shadchan! You just never know….July 4, 2012 11:19 pm at 11:19 pm #996515
I figured, as it has happened to me as well. They do post it and then remove it sometimes but maybe they thought I was so funny that they left it there. I thought of your recent shidduch under this catagory as well.January 1, 2014 1:23 am at 1:23 am #996516hodulashemParticipant
BUMPApril 19, 2017 11:13 pm at 11:13 pm #1257816zaltzvasserParticipant
Bump! Bump! Bump! Bump! More stories! More stories! More stories!
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