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When dating a boy, are there ways that you can tell if he is interested in you, (things he says, does, etc.) and what are the signs if he isnt?
Also, do guys always pursue girls that they are interested in?
And if not, should a girl pursue a guy?
(Guys, feel free to answer this!)
This may be a bit general and every guy is somewhat different in nature but I think if you find that he seems very comfortable around you and he is open about himself and tells you personal things, as well as seems genuinely interested in you then you know he likes you. But these things can’t be seen before a 3rd or 4th date in most cases.
Interesting question and I would be interested to hear about this from the girls’ perspective. As a guy, all I can say is I do not think I do anything different on the date whether I like her or not.
If he spends the day (or evening,if its a nighttime date) listening to you without checking his phone every 10 minutes, I’d say you have a winner.
And it works both ways. If the person I’m with is focused on me, then we have a meaningful connection. If they are reading texts while talking, we are fading fast.
I always give my full attention to any girl on any date, and always seem genuinely interested and comfortable whether I like her or not. That’s just my personality. I would NEVER take out my phone while on a date, unless she needs me to for whatever reason. So it’s harder to tell if I really like her or not. Other guys, though, it might be easier to tell. Things that may show non-interest: Avoids eye contact, doesn’t talk much, doesn’t laugh at all her jokes..
Dating is supposed to be awkward on the first date and usually you won’t get the real picture till at least the second date bec most people have difficulty opening up right away
If the guy or girl say yes to a third date that usually means they’re interested…
Signs of disinterest include:
frequent glances at watch, non-stop talk about weather, awkward silences that are a bit too pleasant, umfocused, and of course when the first big smile of the date comes when the dater drops his datee home!
Lightitup, it’s difficult for me to not like someone. So the issue is only when I see we aren’t compatible. And if that’s the case, I will not let her know how I feel about it until after the date. I will still be very comfortable and give her my full attention on the date.
I dont think its possible to truly make someone feel like you are listening to them and like you really really care about them and what they have to say when you really could not give a flip about them. Somehow the true feelings usually come through in one way or another
Adorable, your’e right, but that’s if you “could not give a flip about them”. But, if you see that it’s a nice person, and you are spending designated time together, even if it’s not compatible, you can still care and listen and give your full attention, and be actively involved in conversation. Iv’e done it quite a few times.
well then you’re an unusual individual because most people are not that way.
adorable, I understand..but what I do could actually be a bad thing- because if I know that we aren’t compatible from the beginning, but I make it seem like I am very interested, it might make it harder for her to hear afterwards that I don’t want to continue because she may feel that we really connected..so what I am doing can actually hurt her more. Hmm..now I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing.
I have a friend who was going out with a guy that she really liked and thought things were going ok until he said no! She said it took her months to get over it.
I’m so sorry to hear that! I see now that it can be a bad thing to show interest if you know it’s not gonna work out anyway..I don’t know if it’s always like that, but I guess you can tell how things are going..
just be natural! You should be zoche to find someone and really like her very soon…will be easy then!
Thank you, and you should be zoche to find someone soon too that you really like! Your’e right, once there is a real connection, I don’t have to worry about being “too” interested.
Thank you, lightitup! I’m guessing you meant to write “marries” 🙂 And I assume based on your original post that you are a girl in shidduchim, so I hope you find your match easily and soon.
Have faith in Hashem. When your true shidduch comes, it should be clear to you and that other. But of course, it is not a surprise that we may indeed find a number of dates in our life and not meet our besheret until it is G-ds chosen time. Does this surprise you? Do you really think at 20 year old really knows ones own neshama so well that he or she is always ready to go to the chuppah? Truly this was the factor in days gone by that one might marry in a youthful time, but today, that is really not so anymore. Of course many of you merit being tied so well to the religious jewish communities that there will be a good number of visits from potential shidduchs in your time.
I am not yet wedded and at my growing years, I do not fret over all. I believe what is in G-ds interests will happen. I also happen to have known some fantastic souls who did not marry in their lifetime. Perhaps G-d has his methods and reasons.
Adorable
Your story with your friend that took months to get over it, how many dates did they actually have?
not many but she felt like things were moving along pretty nicely and she was sure on her part that its going to end in a Lchaim! I think it was the fact that there was no warning that made it so difficult for her
Middlepath i think wut you are doing is the right thing its not wrong. To check ur cell and show disinterest isnt normal, its rude. i wouldnt continue going out with a guy hu is that blunt on a date. But, to answer the OPs question more directly, you can tell everything thru eye contact. The eyes are windows to the soul.
Gluck all with finding your zivugim!
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