Inviting both husband and wife to wedding

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  • #1516861

    inrom
    Participant

    I would love to hear people’s opinions on this. I am in my second year of marriage and my husband was invited to his chavrusa’s wedding. I was not invited.
    You could ask, why should he invite me? I am not his friend and I fully understand that but I just think it’s socially acceptable to remember the person is married and not only invite him. Why should I have to stay home by myself the whole night while he goes to his friend’s wedding?
    In reality, I wouldn’t have 100% have gone. I think at least 95% of young spouses wouldn’t go in such a situation but why can’t you make them feel good and invite them? The few that will come, they feel the need to go out with their spouses and most won’t so you won’t be paying much more you don’t need to worry. But it’s a lack of etiquette when someone’s married to only invite them and not their spouse. don’t assume everyone has kids and needs to stay home to look after them.
    It’s a lack of sensitivity. Please don’t bash me on this. Thanks.
    My friends always invited my husband and he chose not to come but at least he was invited.

    #1516875

    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    I agree 100%. It is extremely poor taste to invite part of a married couple to a social event. In fact, I would refuse the invitation if my wife was not invited.

    #1516879

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    It’s very odd, but it happens.

    There was one wedding my wife was invited to without me. Her friend was given a very strict limit on how many people to invite (she wasn’t the one paying, and both sides were not well off financially) and inviting spouses would have been at the expense of inviting friends.

    #1516884

    jdb
    Participant

    I had a friend who invited spouses, but on the RSVP card had a box for which spouse were coming – or both. Honestly, it’s a waste of money to book a seat for a spouse who isn’t coming. And it’s not bekovodik to not invite a wife.

    That said, if this was a more simple affair, or the families are tight on funds, this would be pretty understandable. I had a chavrusa who had a family tragedy a couple of months before his wedding – and I never got the invite. This was over ben hazmanim, and I haven’t heard. I nearly called him to ask if everything was OK, when a mutual friend told me what happened. They ended up have 10 friends each at the wedding, doing it in a local restaurant. I can’t say it’s insulting that he didn’t think to call me. I’m just happy he was able to pull through and get married.

    #1517380

    manishma
    Participant

    if there’s a limit then the froend should mention that otherwise I wouldn’t call this person a friend.

    #1517420

    Toi
    Participant

    Totally unacceptable.

    #1517421

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    Its rude not to invite one spouse

    #1517446

    iacisrmma
    Participant

    While I understand the reasoning (especially if funds are tight), proper ettiquette is to invite the married couple. I remember attending weddings of my wife’s classmates (she was the first in her class to get married) even though I didn’t know anybody there.

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