tbt-good point about the Rambam-it was completely misrepresented.
As far as halachik sources there cannot possibly be a blanket rule on such a grey area-what if the man is simply nasty , does the wife then have to acquiesce to his whim?it is degrading to even suggest so. But you are right, this is not really a coffee room topic.
there cannot possibly be a blanket rule on such a grey area-what if the man is simply nasty
Ask your Rov, right away. Until you have a case specific heter, assume none exists. Its Just like all our other responsibilities, lets use Esrog as an example; we aren’t exempt until we have a case specific heter.
BTW, Hashem decides what is or isn’t right/degrading.