Is Being Right More Important than getting along?

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  • #614417
    TheGoq
    Participant

    I have a coworker who has the same job as me cashier and it is part of our job duties to bag and throw out our trash at the end of the day this coworker who I will call Dan rarely does this and when I’m on the night shift after he does a day shift i have a full garbage can to deal with i have complained about this to the store manager and his reply was just make sure your trash is thrown out he had nothing to say about Dan I have an issue with this it is part of our duties to throw out the trash at the end of the shift if Dan doesn’t do so he should be disciplined but he is not this one issue is causing a rift between myself and the manager so the question is should i just drop it and put up with Dan’s refusal to do his job so i can get along better with the manager?

    Your thought’s please.

    #1053053
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Does his not throwing out his trash make things harder for you, or does it just bother you on principle?

    Either way, best to drop it, but I am curious as to what the issue is.

    #1053054
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Two options, in my view.

    1. Also stop throwing out the trash.

    2. Throw it out for Dan, just to get along. And secretly sprinkle cayenne pepper on the cash register so that when he touches his eyes or nose he’ll get it……

    #1053055
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Dy its both if i dont empty his trash i will have an overflowing can at the end of the night and yes its principle too if he is doing something that is wrong he should be disciplined that bothers me, it’s like why should i bother to do the right thing if he can get away with it i guess i can too but i don’t want to be surrounded by trash he doesn’t seem to mind it.

    #1053056
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Must be frustrating.

    #1053057
    ED IT OR
    Participant

    Goq, may i start by saying i really feel for you, have you considered this may be your own fault? possibly you have done something to offend? etc?

    #1053058
    Chochom-ibber
    Participant

    Have a separate garbage bag for when you come. Leave his to build up and continue disposing of yours. After a couple days of pile up, either:

    A) He’ll get the msg that you are not his garbage collector and you do not agree to be stepped on. (if he is purposely doing this)

    B) The manager will confront you and you will respectfully let him know that you do remove your garbage and are too annoyed with the lack of cleanliness due to Dan.

    Or you can just take the high road though not recommendable if it will cause you a frustration build up.

    #1053059
    Trust 789
    Member

    Get your own trash can.

    Or, send an email to Dan saying that you will empty the trash can every other day. He will empty it on those other days. CC the email to your manager. If he doesn’t empty the trash on his days, empty it in a garbage bag, and leave it their for him to do, so the trash can should start off empty on your days.

    People have more respect for those that stick up for themselves. Even if at the beginning it looks like they don’t.

    #1053060
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Cb I can say definetively that it is not my fault but rather Dans laziness his laziness is not just apparent in his work ethic but in his personal hygiene, CI that makes sense thanks.

    #1053061
    yytz
    Participant

    My two zuzim: just forget about it and do your job.

    For all you know the boss has had private conversations with your coworker reprimanding him. Perhaps that is all he deserves.

    Regardless, as a worker you do not have the right to ensure that fellow employees who break the rules should be punished. Deciding on when and how to discipline is the boss’s job. Punishment is not always the answer.

    In addition, keep in min that he will get what’s coming to him eventually, whether at work or in the Heavenly beis din.

    If you do your job right and stay out of others’ business, you’re also more likely to be promoted or receive a raise.

    I would only complain if your co-worker is paid more than you for doing the same job less well.

    It is considered very important in Yiddishkeit to allow “your soul to be silent to those who curse you” (that is, don’t respond or get upset even when other people are mean to you) and accept all your suffering with love as a way Hashem is, in His hidden way, bestowing His kindness upon you (by cleansing you of your aveiros, for example).

    So try not to worry about it. Even thank Hashem for your troubles. Gamzu l’tovah.

    #1053062
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Thank you very much yytz, i needed that.

    #1053064
    yytz
    Participant

    You’re welcome, Goq!

    The thanking-Hashem-for-your-troubles thing I’ve seen in a few places, I think, but it’s really emphasized in R’ Arush’s book, the Garden of Gratitude.

    #1053065
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Better idea.

    Take out Dan’s garbage. But hide it in the stockroom.

    Take out your own garbage at end of your shift, and bring Dan’s garbage back from stockroom and put back in garbage can.

    #1053066
    Trust 789
    Member

    yytz: When one is being mistreated by another person, where does one draw the line?

    Do we just thank Hashem for our troubles? And allow the other person to take advantage or abuse us?

    #1053067
    TheGoq
    Participant

    lol popa my Asst Manager said the same thing he is in a similar spot cause he and i are the only ones who clean so i may do that plus lately when i am working the shift before Dan i take out my trash and dont put in a new trash bag.

    #1053068
    MDG
    Participant

    Goq,

    Can you try this: when you change a bag and Dan is next, put a knot in the bag so it only holds half. Or put a smaller bag in, if possible. Either way it’ll force him to take care of an overflowing heap.

    #1053069
    TheGoq
    Participant

    He wouldnt care if it overflowed he smells like an ashtray bad smells or heaps of garbage are not going to matter to him.

    #1053070
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    So it looks as though cayenne pepper on the cash register has the most votes.

    #1053071
    Patur Aval Assur
    Participant

    Threaten him that if he doesn’t start taking out the trash you will tell everyone in the coffee room that he doesn’t take out the trash.

    #1053072
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Popa, I still think cayenne on the register is the best idea.

    #1053073
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    So the answer to the question of the thread title is “yes”.

    #1053074
    ronrsr
    Member

    it’s like the eternal question that husbands everywhere ask themselves: Do you wanna be right, or do you wanna be happy?

    P.S. it’s better to be happy with someone you live or work with.

    #1053075
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Just got a new job a cashier at a major supermarket chain and since its union i will get regular raises and guaranteed decent hours plus im still gonna do a shift or two a week for my current store. no it wasnt the trash issue that motivated me lol it was lack of hours..

    #1053076
    Letakein Girl
    Participant

    I’m so happy for you, Goq! You really deserve this. 🙂

    Wishing you much hatzlachah.

    #1053077
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Thanks so much LG!!

    #1053078
    haifagirl
    Participant

    I have a similar problem. We have certain rules we’re supposed to follow. While it annoys me that other teachers don’t clean the classrooms when they finish, that’s all it is–an annoyance.

    However, one rule is that we are not supposed to speak Hebrew in the lessons. I do my best to follow that (not so difficult since my Hebrew is pretty poor). But I sometimes lose students to teachers who are willing to speak Hebrew. Since I get paid only for the lessons I teach, following the rules is costing me parnassah.

    I’ve brought it up to the supervisor and to her boss. I’m waiting to see what happens.

    #1053079

    We agree to disagree.

    #1053080
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Agreeing to disagree doesn’t solve the problem.

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