March 20, 2011 4:52 pm at 4:52 pm #595795
I have a friend who has a habit that makes me batty. Maybe it’s me. In an effort to find out, let’s try this little exercise.
Your son and his wife come for Shabbos. They bring a cake with them that she baked. Now, a friend has dropped in. Being the good hostess you are, you want to feed her. Fill in the blank:
“Have some cake. My ______________ made it.”March 20, 2011 4:55 pm at 4:55 pm #751167Bar ShattyaMember
If it tastes good- “I made it”.
If it tastes bad- “My son’s horrible wife made it.”March 20, 2011 4:58 pm at 4:58 pm #751168
umm daughter in law?March 20, 2011 5:15 pm at 5:15 pm #751169
after giving the guest some Reisman’s cake from the freezer, I’ll just keep the cake for myself that my ‘shneer’ (‘shnur’?) made!! lol, Happy Purim!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;=DMarch 20, 2011 6:02 pm at 6:02 pm #751170ShrekMember
does she say “my blank made it”? that would seem odd to me.March 20, 2011 6:40 pm at 6:40 pm #751171
blankity-blank would’ve been worse!! lol 😉March 20, 2011 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm #751172mewhoParticipant
my dear daughter in law baked itMarch 21, 2011 12:14 am at 12:14 am #751173aries2756Participant
I don’t get it. Does she NOT say my daughter-in-law? Does she say “my son’s wife”?March 21, 2011 12:21 am at 12:21 am #751174yogiboobooMember
daughter in law!!! duh!March 21, 2011 1:38 am at 1:38 am #751175oomisParticipant
My wonderful daughter-in-law baked it. Isn’t it delicious?March 21, 2011 1:55 am at 1:55 am #751176gefenParticipant
when do we get to hear what she actually said?March 21, 2011 2:45 am at 2:45 am #751177
sons wife?March 21, 2011 3:37 am at 3:37 am #751178enahakMember
maybe this question goes deeper, a stepmother once yelled at me when i called her “mom” jokingly and i never knew what to call her after that. i just said “hey”, or i just started speaking to her or i would even rearrange the sentence so i could just say “she”… also my one kid has a unique name and people kept saying stuff to me about it and now i feel uncomfortable saying her name so i’ve just called her “baby” ever since she was a baby…
actually i’ve never said her name to her once, took me about 13 years with the step mother.March 21, 2011 4:06 am at 4:06 am #751179amichaiParticipant
what’s the question here??March 21, 2011 6:20 am at 6:20 am #751180Derech HaMelechMember
“Have some cake, You made it.”March 21, 2011 11:56 am at 11:56 am #751181
when do we get to hear what she actually said?
Right now. And by the way, that wasn’t an actual quote, it was just a way to find out how people referred to the woman their son married. My personal preference is “my daughter-in-law,” but I could handle “my son’s wife.”
I understand that in Hebrew the word “kallah” means daughter-in-law. I get that. And someone who is speaking Hebrew has no choice.
Also, if a person is a native Hebrew speaker, I could also understand saying “kallah” for daughter-in-law.
However, this friend of mine is a native English speaker. She always refers to her daughters-in-law as “my kallahs.” I don’t understand why someone would use an ambiguous word when there is a perfectly acceptable English alternative.
As an example, she thought I might like to try her shul on Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur. She said, “I have two kallahs staying with me, and I’m sure we won’t be using all the seats, so you are welcome to use our seats.”
I wondered who the two kallahs were, and to whom they were engaged. And when I went to her house for a meal I wondered where she put them, as she had two of her married sons (and their families) staying with her. Then I remembered that she calls her daughters-in-law her kallahs.
I have never heard anybody else use “kallah” in that way.
Is that weird, or is it just me?March 21, 2011 3:38 pm at 3:38 pm #751182
haifagirl please tell us the punchlineMarch 21, 2011 5:17 pm at 5:17 pm #751183truth be toldMember
haifagirl: We understand you. Its probably uncomfortable for you. She’s may be trying to intergrade as much Hebrew into her vernacular, without giving up her English. Also, she may be uncomfortable calling her daughter-in-law that, since it has “daughter” in there, and they are not her daughters.March 21, 2011 6:02 pm at 6:02 pm #751184smartcookieMember
Haifa- yeah, it’s weird to me too!
Some people refer to Shana Rishona couples as Chosson-Kallah, but never heard of keeping that name longer than a year!
But in your first post you write how this bothers you. Would you care to explain why it does?March 21, 2011 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #751186
i agree with you HG its offputtingMarch 21, 2011 6:55 pm at 6:55 pm #751187
It annoys me because it’s weird. And it’s ambiguous. When she talks about a kallah I assume she means a bride, not someone who has been married to her son and already has several children.
I’ve heard people refer to “my son’s kallah,” usually before the wedding, but she is the only person I’ve ever heard call her daughters-in-law her kallahs.
She’s not an FFB (nor am I) and I think she is just trying so hard to fit in that she stands out.March 21, 2011 8:27 pm at 8:27 pm #751188s2021Member
I think its just herMarch 22, 2011 7:56 pm at 7:56 pm #751189ShrekMember
At least she doesn’t confuse “kallah” and “challah”. That would really sound weird. “Have some cake. My challah made it.”March 22, 2011 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #751190
very funny shrekMarch 22, 2011 9:47 pm at 9:47 pm #751191
LOL, Shrek! 🙂
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