August 13, 2013 12:42 pm at 12:42 pm #610351chani91Member
i was just wondering if its normal that when i do something good such as daven or something else i try to hide it such as i wait till noone is around and only then i daven i get such an embaraasment so is it normal? and what can i do about it?August 13, 2013 1:27 pm at 1:27 pm #970846sharpMember
I think it’s called being humble.August 13, 2013 1:47 pm at 1:47 pm #970847dafyomi2711Member
why aren’t you embarrassed to post that comment to thousands of people?August 13, 2013 2:18 pm at 2:18 pm #970848oomisParticipant
How old are you (that might be part of it)? If you are a teen or adolescent, many kids are embarrassed much of the time, just as a matter of course. Truthfully, if you were doing good things specifically in order for people to see that you were doing them, I would wonder if you wanted their praise and were doing it for “show,” so doing them more privately is not a bad thing necessarily.
Davening should not be in that category. We all daven, and we all have to and need to. So unless you are shuckeling a little too fervently or davening in a very loud voice both of which would make people stare, I think you can safely do it even when other people are around.August 13, 2013 6:13 pm at 6:13 pm #970849stanleycParticipant
Do you get embarrased when you help an old lady cross the street? Maybe you shuckel excessively when you davenAugust 14, 2013 5:38 am at 5:38 am #970850SaysMeMember
i can relate to the feeling. Its normal, yes, but not neccesarily good always. With s/thing like davening, or helping others, chesed, etc, you should try to work on the feeling, telling yourself that positive actions and mitzvos are not something you should ever be embarrassed of. Dont let others’ presence delay or stop you from doing a good thing. Peer pressure can be a dangerous zone. Work on focusing on what you are doing, and tuning out everyone else around you. We often feel people are going to be looking at us, but in reality, most people are busy with their own things and thoughts and not really looking. And for those who are, you will be a positive role model and a good example!August 14, 2013 5:38 pm at 5:38 pm #970851wallflowerParticipant
Yes, very normal. Besides for shul I won’t daven if there’s another person in the room.August 14, 2013 10:00 pm at 10:00 pm #970852mercuryMember
maybe its just me but i have never been embarrassed to daven anywhere or infront of anyone. im mostly ashamed to daven in front of HKBH himself because i feel so unworthy. but not people. i can care less. i see a bunch of people doing much weirder things like wearing pants below their underwear, playing loud obnoxious music on their ipod, or people asking for handouts at red lights, teens yelling in the streets screaming obscenities and they dont seem phased in the least! id be mortified if that was me! but u know what? nobody cares either. people go about their lives not really paying attention to what others do. ive davened on subways, bus stops, supermarket parking lots or where ever i am and the zman tefilla came. however i wouldnt necessarily say id feel as comfortable if i lived in north dakota. example.
when i was about 16 i was waiting in a bus terminal and was heading back to ny. mincha time came so i found a corner to daven in before my bus came and when i was finished with shmone esray a little boy asked me if i was a witch casting spells. i never saw it that way before but i guess thats what it looks like from a secular perspective. i just laughed and said yes would u like me to turn you into a frog? (no dont worry i didnt, i just explained to him that i was praying and he said “oh ok”) besides that curious little boy (this was not a jewish populated area so he probably never saw a jew before) most people dont care what you do in public. try one time to say tehillim somewhere. ull see no one will notice or even if they do they will only ask out of curiosity but never to make fun. heres an example of that. i was once saying tehillim on a bus and a black lady next to me asked me what i was saying and i said “psalms” and her response was “oh i say those too! i love them.” see its not as weird as you think. and definitely dont feel embaressed to daven infront of another jew! we ALL daven!!! and were not judging you. i get so much nachas when i see other women on the subway saying tehillim. i love it!August 15, 2013 1:07 am at 1:07 am #970853Torah613TorahParticipant
wallflower: That’s so interesting, I have a sibling who does that too. (will only daven if no one is around to see)August 15, 2013 6:41 am at 6:41 am #970854WIYMember
Davening is something very personal. If a person is actually blessed that he can feel his/her Davening and feel connected to Hashem that is very powerful and intimate and its uncomfortable when others look at you.August 15, 2013 2:44 pm at 2:44 pm #970855wallflowerParticipant
Actually only around people I know. I have no problem davening in front of total strangers.
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