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can i ask someone to set me up with a specific person? Who should i ask?
That’s generally considered tacky.
Ask a friend to redt it or to tell a shadchan
I think it’s honestly silly that someone cannot suggest a person for themselves, but that appears to be the current mode of operation.
yeshiva bocher guy…just ask her out yourself…
Obviously nobody know themselves well enough to do that.
Lets ask Tevya.
Ask a relative you’re close with. Is that really how it is? That because you thought of it first you guys can’t date?
and tevya is
No wonder you have to suggest yourself. Shadchanim dont usually set up marriageable girls with boys looking for a high school.
Thanks
Hi jwashing, Tevya is the dairy farmer from Fiddler on the Roof the play/movie adapted from the tale by Shalom Aleichem he allows his eldest daughter to marry who she wants instead of making the match for her.
@squeak maybe you can be a litle dan lkaf zchus and say maybe he is asking one of the questions for someone else
the goq- lol. jwashing- Did you ever hear of Fiddler on the Roof?
Oh for goodness sakes. Don’t listen to ANYONE who says it’s tacky. Go for it. Ask ANYONE reliable to redt the shidduch for you, if you always go through a shadchan. Why should you miss out on your possible bashert just because no one else thought of the same suggestion first?
You are doing a terrible job of valuing your options. You think that this person might potentially be immensely valuable to you as a shidduch, and you are considering abandoning the opportunity because some people might think that asking someone to redt it is “not done”. Imagine the following hypothetical valuations:
Perfect Shidduch = 1,000,000
Odds that this is the perfect shidduch = 10%
Expected Value of Dating = .10*1,000,000=100,000
Cost of doing something that isn’t done = 50 (but that’s an over-estimate)
Since 100,000 is more value than 50, it makes sense to have someone suggest it.
@squeak and actually i know this guy and he is talking about his brother who is going into shiduchim
Is it right to suggest a shidduch for yourself?
Absolutely!!! Grow up and take some initiative. If your premonition tells you to go for someone, absolutely get the show on the road, and 1 shidduch crisis fewer to deal with.
Shimshon Hagibbor did, his eyes were later gauged out by the philistines!
jwashing: if its not for him, why doesnt he suggest it for his brother?
OP: as mentioned by others, ask a relative or friend to redt it. good luck!!
Ask someone to redt it for you. Having a middle man will make the situation much more comfortable for both of you.
The best shidduchim is made by the person themselves or a family member:) Just make sure that someone you trust is also involved in the shidduch that’s a close friend and not a family member so that way they can make the shidduch and that way it will be tznius because your friend made it and it’s the same as a shadchan doing it just better because your friends with the shadchan.
Yes. It is called taking the initiative. Im ain ani li, mi li.
It’ll make a great story if you marry the person!
“The best shidduchim is made by the person themselves or a family member:)”
I agree in a certain sense. Some people frown on things like JWed and Saw You at Sinai. In such a case, wouldn’t a person be making their own shidduch, since they either replied to someone’s message, or took the initiative to message someone themselves?
Yes, it is right.
But you should be careful that you are primarily attracted to intrinsic qualities and not superficial qualities.
i say, you go for it! thats the way my sisters shidduch happened, and they are happily married for quite a few years…
It’s not right or wrong, it’s just applicable or inapplicable.
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