Is it tzanuah to talk to girls in the Coffee Room?

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Viewing 23 posts - 1 through 23 (of 23 total)
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  • #608250

    bris kodesh
    Participant

    It’s occurred to me by reading through the coffee room threads that a large number of the commenters here are actually high school girls or just post-high school. Is it tzanuah to ‘talk to girls’ here? In fact, is it even tzanuah for the girls to be here? I’ve seen comments that seem quite personal and revealing, even flirty, at times here.

    #930652

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    In fact, is it even tzanuah for the girls to be here?

    Why would the onus be on the girls? You think it isn’t tznius? So you leave.

    As my mashgiach said when someone suggested the women should come through the back door of the yeshiva on shabbos: you could go through the back door.

    As to the actual question: I think it is mostly ok, since we don’t know who each other are and there is no way to contact anyone for real. But if you feel like a comment you are going to make is innapropriate–then you shouldn’t make it. And if you feel like the “relationships” you are getting into here are innapropriate–then you should leave.

    #930653

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    There is no way to prove if you are a boy or a girl. And there is no way to contact others.

    If you don’t like it, find another site that is better. You won’t. There is no place as kosher as YWN on the internet that allows user interaction and is as safe and well-run.

    Also, what does age have to do with it? If you think that it’s bad just because it’s high school girls, let’s say you were talking to 30 year old married women, halachically that would only be worse.

    #930654

    akuperma
    Participant

    How do you know the gender, or even the species, of whom you are talking to in Coffee Room. The seventeen year BY girl may actually be 35 year off the derekh ex-yeshiva bochur, or perhaps a very clever poodle, or maybe a Vulcan with a sense of humor.

    #930655

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    There is no way to prove if you are a boy or a girl.

    In depth analysis of certain subjects might be a pretty good giveaway. It would be unlikely, for example, for a chakirah about a machlokes between the Ketzos and the Nesivos to be written by a sixteen year old girl. We likely could find examples the other way, as well.

    #930656

    YW Moderator-007
    Moderator

    Here is a better question, is “bris kodesh” allowed to have more than one screename?

    Take this as a warning.

    #930657

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Here is a better question, is “bris kodesh” allowed to have more than one screename?

    And if one represents a male, and one a female, are they allowed to talk to each other?

    #930658

    Naftush
    Member

    Would it be plagiarism if each participant would past in his/her posts in the great “Gut Shabbos” debate and call it a draw?

    #930659

    midwesterner
    Participant

    Vulcans don’t have a sense of humor. They are purely logical beings. Perhaps half Vulcan and half human. (Oh boy, the girsa dyankusa came out there!)

    #930660

    ThePurpleOne
    Member

    ya if ur a married man u shudnt be talking to married ladies!! ask ur LOR, not the ppl u shudnt be talking to..

    #930661

    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    No. The CR is not a Makom Tzanua. Therefore it is not a problem.

    Is there a given interval of time when these things get brought up? This has been hashed and rehashed many times over.

    But as far as Tznua goes, my screen name is pretty Tznua.

    #930662

    superme
    Member

    Soon ppl will come up with areason that it’s makom yichud

    #930663

    ThePurpleOne
    Member

    superme-

    huh?? the mods r here too!!;)

    #930664

    Imaofthree
    Participant

    I would assume that since the coffee room is moderated they would not let any comments in that are not tzanuah. Certainly there are those that would not feel comfortable here or anywhere else on the internet for that matter.

    #930665

    chevron
    Member

    The fact that no one can contact anyone else (off the forum) may be an acceptable retort to those questioning the permissibility of non-essential online cross-gender communications. Nevertheless, the question is a valid one and I don’t understand the retort that if its a problem then YOU stay away and let everyone else be. That solution is good for the person but, if the problem is a valid one, does not alleviate the issue with the masses engaging in such conduct. And concern for everyone else is, surely, something we should all be concerned with.

    Also, the retort that no one knows with certainty anyone elses gender is also true to a point. But in truth most posters make reasonably obvious their gender (as someone else pointed out above.)

    #930666

    TheGoq
    Participant

    akuperma vulcans are humorless did you ever once see spock crack a smile?

    #930667

    bris kodesh
    Participant

    Thanks, I’ve found the responses so far to be interesting. I see most people have very strong positions on the issue. I’m wondering how the Gedolim would feel about this.

    Good question. Please let us know their thoughts. In the meantime, we blocked your multiple usernames…..

    There should be some Gedolim in “Beit Shemesh” who can give you their thoughts…..

    #930668

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    DY: If the girl went to a seminary where they teach gemara, she might be able to talk in learning.

    #930669

    akuperma
    Participant

    But could not a Vulcan be pretending to have a sense of humor, addressing the matter with very serious logic, since in CR no one would know he is a Vulcan. And if he can fake his humor, why not his gender. He could even be a Klingon in disguise.

    And all the more so if the person behind the screen name is actually an unusually clever poodle.

    And of course, I’ld discuss gender but of course we don’t discuss such things in mixed-up company.

    #930670

    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    I’m a stranger in a strange land, a mathematical Martian whose motive remains a mystery.

    #930671

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    T613T,

    Yes, that’s exactly what I did.

    #930672

    wanderingchana
    Participant

    If a Vulcan is half human, wouldn’t a male Vulcan be only half male?

    #930674

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    ya if ur a married man u shudnt be talking to married ladies!! ask ur LOR, not the ppl u shudnt be talking to..

    lol

    Good point, purple.

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