Is there a Shidduch Crisis?
- This topic has 167 replies, 47 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 1 month ago by ☕ DaasYochid ☕.
February 12, 2016 7:38 pm at 7:38 pm #1137215
I was responding to the maturity and responsibility. No responsibilities no big deal.February 12, 2016 7:40 pm at 7:40 pm #1137216
Apushitayid “all bills are paid by tatty”
The irony! Isn’t that exactly the problem with the shidduch crisis? That unless the Tatty is willing (able) to pay the bills the daughter can’t find a shidduch??? The kest system has been abolished in the chassidishe world. The tatties are not being manipulated into paying the bills on pain of staying with a grey haired daughter at home.February 12, 2016 7:44 pm at 7:44 pm #1137217
Rav Miller suggested it. Other Litvish gedolim (especially in EY) are also in favor of it.
Any currently in the U.S. recommending it?February 12, 2016 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm #1137218
Isn’t that exactly the problem with the shidduch crisis? That unless the Tatty is willing (able) to pay the bills the daughter can’t find a shidduch???
No.February 12, 2016 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #1137219
DY: It is certainly part of the problem.February 12, 2016 7:52 pm at 7:52 pm #1137220JosephParticipant
Any currently in the U.S. recommending it?
Ask around. How many currently in the U.S. are opposed to it? How many have a public position (either way) on it? Does Rav Miller count in your book? Isn’t the new position just announced by the Litvish gedolim suggest there is movement in this direction?February 12, 2016 8:13 pm at 8:13 pm #1137221
I can tell you how many are actively encouraging it. None.February 12, 2016 8:17 pm at 8:17 pm #1137222
If the litvishe gefolim in ey are on board with your plan, why don’t they send home all American bachurim En masse? Why are yeshivos in ey actively recruiting my 21 year old son of they are on board with your plan.
I think the problem in today’s generation is that too many people are Kol korei hidden and don’t have a Rav.February 12, 2016 9:10 pm at 9:10 pm #1137223
Ask around. How many currently in the U.S. are opposed to it? How many have a public position (either way) on it? Does Rav Miller count in your book? Isn’t the new position just announced by the Litvish gedolim suggest there is movement in this direction?
In other words, none.February 12, 2016 9:11 pm at 9:11 pm #1137224
DY: It is certainly part of the problem.
That depends what you think the problem is.February 12, 2016 9:43 pm at 9:43 pm #1137225
DY:”That depends what you think the problem is.”
This is getting ridiculous. We are on page 4 of this thread and we are unaware of what problem we are discussing?
The problem is the ‘shidduch crisis’ which I would define as a hardship for the girls in a certain community to find a shidduch, with many girls becoming older than they would like to without finding their bashert.
There is more than just one thing contributing to the problem. Girls being squeezed for money is one contributing factor.February 14, 2016 12:09 am at 12:09 am #1137226
You seemed to be unaware. Despite your now recognizing it as a problem which affects girls’ ability to get married more than boys, you blame it on a something which affects both equally.
Maybe squeezing girls (and their parents) is a huge problem on its own, even a crisis, but it’s got little if anything to do with there being more unmarried girls than boys.February 14, 2016 1:55 am at 1:55 am #1137227👑RebYidd23Participant
Monogamy is the problem.February 14, 2016 2:49 am at 2:49 am #1137228JosephParticipant
Teimanim don’t have that problem.February 14, 2016 2:49 am at 2:49 am #1137229
If the burden of support was shifted to the boys parents I assure you there would be more unmarried boys of all ages then girls.February 14, 2016 3:15 am at 3:15 am #1137230
Apushatayid, that’s ridiculous. The only thing that would change is which girls get married, not how many in relation to how many boys.
You are aware that there are precisely as many married men as there are married women, aren’t you?February 14, 2016 6:16 am at 6:16 am #1137231MammeleParticipant
DY: you’re forgetting one piece of the puzzle. Assuming all other variables being equal, if a 23 year old boy has a choice between dating a 21 year old girl from a not exactly rich family versus a 19 year old from a wealthy family, whom will he (or his mother) choose?
So assuming the older rich females are no longer girls (they go fast) the boys will go for the younger rich girls whose parents promise support whenever possible. And the others are often left out in the cold. Of course other features such as beauty, yichus, smarts and what-not also come into play, but you can’t deny that money is a major factor, and those lacking it do not have a competitive edge.February 14, 2016 6:42 am at 6:42 am #1137232
I’m not forgetting it, I just think the effect is probably negligible. Even if we assume that the 19 year olds who are left over are the “financially challenged” ones (which I actually don’t think is true for the most part), by the time they’re 21, they should have money put away, plus more earning power, giving them an advantage over the 19 year old who is in the same position as she was.
You are also just finding another contributing factor to age gap. Would you agree that if the standard age for boys became 21, the problem would mostly be solved?
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.