August 30, 2011 12:30 pm at 12:30 pm #811804walton157Member
watch it please.August 30, 2011 2:50 pm at 2:50 pm #811805chanasaraMember
Shalom Task Force gives workshops in high schools and seminaries about healthy/non healthy relationships. They also offer couples that are engaged or newly married a series of workshops preparing them for “real life”. Check it out if you have concerns about dating/ really knowing who you are marrying.August 30, 2011 2:53 pm at 2:53 pm #811807yicMember
i have a really good friend that got married and all of a sudden he stopped talking to me and with all of his friends so i got shocked that a buchir that was in Yisheva till the day before his chasuna is acting like this so i made some research and i find out that Evrybody who comes in to his wifes family is mshibet to them and they dictat the guy that they have to follow what ever they say do anybody think that i should go talk to himAugust 30, 2011 3:20 pm at 3:20 pm #811808mommamia22Participant
What do you mean “watch it..?”
What are you concerned about?August 30, 2011 11:45 pm at 11:45 pm #811809mommamia22Participant
I didn’t understand your story completely. Your friend got married and has to follow whatever his wife’s family tells him to do?
I think if you have concerns you can voice them, but be careful. Ask him how he’s doing and just point out what you notice (that he’s out of touch with everyone). Let him respond. Don’t voice your own opinion about whether you think it’s ok or not without asking a rav or an organization like shalom task force. He might not mind pulling away socially, but if you tell him you think it’s not ok, he might re-think his own perspective and that can start shalom Bayis issues.August 31, 2011 12:05 am at 12:05 am #811810aries2756Participant
It is “normal” to be tired. It is normal to be “excited” and a bit “spacey” because you are always thinking about your spouse and what to cook for him, and you just always have him on your mind because you want to be with him.
On the other hand, if she is so spaced out but she doesn’t have that happy look on her face when she is, that is NOT a good sign and I too would be concerned. I would ask her “What’s wrong? Are you tired, does your husband help you?” that might open up some discussion? Ask her what its like being married, ask her how different it is being on her own than being at home. See if she smiles when she talks about her marriage or she gets nervous. That should give you a clue.August 31, 2011 12:29 am at 12:29 am #811811aries2756Participant
momma, you are really truly stuck between a rock and a hard place and it is a very difficult decision that you made to stay in an abusive relationship. It sounds that you are slowly standing up for yourself and empowering yourself (I hope). You don’t sound like a victim you certainly do sound like a survivor. I ask all my clients to read “Choice Theory” by Dr. William Glaser. I don’t know if you have heard of it or not, but you might gain some chizuk and some insight from it. If I can offer support in any way please let me know.August 31, 2011 1:12 am at 1:12 am #811812kapustaParticipant
What do you mean “watch it..?”
What are you concerned about?
Things written in bold (when not in the middle of a sentence/post) are usually written by a mod.September 22, 2011 6:59 pm at 6:59 pm #811813ilovetheholylandParticipant
found out whats goin on…. not normal but i”h will be ok!September 22, 2011 7:18 pm at 7:18 pm #811814shmoelMember
What’s going on?September 22, 2011 7:32 pm at 7:32 pm #811815ilovetheholylandParticipant
i cant say anything else, i hope u can understand that…..thanx a mill everyone for ur advice…..
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