August 22, 2011 8:29 pm at 8:29 pm #598831
Recently i was on a bus trip the length of the trip for me was about 90 minutes (btw this is not a jewish bus) and the woman seated across the aisle from me was yammering on at a very high volume and ever ten words or so she would say oh my g-d this happened not for the whole trip but for most of it i had planned on reading.
Mind you she wasn’t on a cell phone and felt she needed to increase her volume so the other person could hear rather she was speaking to the gentleman next to her she was laughing ad nauseum.
It just so happens we got off at the same stop she left without her gentleman friend and after we got off the bus i said rather loudly oh my g-d i can’t believe i’m here oh my g-d she gave me a look and seemed perturbed but that was the end of that.
I know it was a stupid thing to do but i dont care when u r in a public setting like that you have to behave a certain way.
P.S. i was wearing a baseball cap so there’s no issue of Chillul Hashem.August 22, 2011 8:38 pm at 8:38 pm #882853
P.S.S. When I wear a baseball cap it would still be a Chillul Hashem…August 22, 2011 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #882854
I take a Jewish bus everyday to work and loud phone conversations are a norm.August 22, 2011 9:00 pm at 9:00 pm #882855
call me frumMember
haha thts a funny story. good for u!August 22, 2011 9:02 pm at 9:02 pm #882856
I a surprised someone with your label would travel on a “jewish” bus. (not really sure what that is anyway, perhaps you can explain)
And what was the prupose of your comment, to insinuate that people on a Jewish bus use phones? i have seen people use phones on any bus I have been on.August 22, 2011 9:13 pm at 9:13 pm #882857
Goq, are you sure your Gegrazelte Payos wasn’t sticking out of the baseball cap :?)August 22, 2011 9:20 pm at 9:20 pm #882858
My post was edited to a point where my original intent was lost.
I think your intent to criticize frum people in general and say Loshon HaRa against a large segment of the Jewish People was still evident in your post by implication, if not directly.August 22, 2011 9:22 pm at 9:22 pm #882859
nope HaLeivi everything was tucked in but maybe in the future i should leave the cap at home so i will behave betterAugust 22, 2011 10:27 pm at 10:27 pm #882860
By discussing this, even though you state you’d do it again, you’re inviting our assessment. So, I’ll give you mine. You are justified in thinking it rude and innappropriate for her to speak in a loud voice. You’re method of responding was passive aggressive. You were trying to make a point by making fun of her and imitating her. Better to ask her to lower her voice, and if she does not, live with it, or change seats, if possible.August 22, 2011 10:41 pm at 10:41 pm #882861
Mommamia; I beleive that The goq agrees that its not the ideal way to react but still feels good about it, kind like “once in a while I’ll be the bad boy”.August 22, 2011 10:59 pm at 10:59 pm #882863
I could not change seats the bus was full and in my experience when there are two or more people in a group they will very seldom listen to what one person has to say i probably would have been mocked for the rest of the trip if i had done that mom. DZ you are right on!August 22, 2011 11:02 pm at 11:02 pm #882864
sounds like something I’d do, Goq :-OAugust 22, 2011 11:12 pm at 11:12 pm #882865
ty always that means alot!August 23, 2011 2:50 am at 2:50 am #882866
I would have politely asked her to lower her voice and explain that she is being loud and it is disturbing my ability to read or sleep…August 23, 2011 3:47 am at 3:47 am #882867
Putting my two cents inMember
I can understand that you were totally fed up after having been subjected to this loudmouth for 90 minutes.
But after you did it, did you look at the big picture and realize that while you blew off some steam that essentially you stooped to her level?
I guess then the onlookers GOQed at you!!
I think you most likely know that your reaction was inappropriate, and perhaps you are looking for validation despite the fact.August 23, 2011 4:29 am at 4:29 am #882868
Pmcti not really looking for validation i really dont think asking her to not be obnoxious would have made much difference even if i posed it nicely, yes it was inappropriate but as i said in the total i really dont care.
“I guess then the onlookers GOQed at you!!”
good line!August 23, 2011 2:50 pm at 2:50 pm #882869
“P.S. i was wearing a baseball cap so there’s no issue of Chillul Hashem.”
Even if there’s no issue of chillul Hashem we still have to act like mentchen. Expressing anger and lowering yourself to say something hurtful even to a non Jew is not the way we behave. We are Rachmanim Bayshanim and Gomlei Chassadim. You missed an opportunity to grow by controlling your emotions.August 23, 2011 3:50 pm at 3:50 pm #882870
WIY how else will these people learn? they are totally oblivious to the fact that they are disturbing others, they just dont care asking her to lower her voice would have been a waste of time some people deserve rebuke because otherwise they will not get it.August 23, 2011 4:15 pm at 4:15 pm #882871
u didnt finish the story when she heard you say that she was like WORDAugust 23, 2011 4:23 pm at 4:23 pm #882872
Goq – I’ve been in many situations on busses over the years, including physical fights. As I’ve matured and grown older, you learn how to deal with all types of situations. Usually, when s/o is being loud and obnoxious, I either ignore it or just listen. Some of the things that they say are quite interesting, like what kind of crime they have committed.
But if the situation is unbearable, the first thing to do is ask them politely to stop. If they ignore, ask again. Usually if you shshh, the other passengers join in and they quiet down. If this doesn’t work approach the driver. He can make them stop. I once was on a bus and a druggie was touching e/o. So I was the first guy next to him, I ignored it and then moved. He started doing it to others. They freaked out and complained to the driver. He called the cops. They entered -searched the guy and told him to stay in the back of the bus and not bother anyone.
Anger begets anger. The only time to respond with anger is when your life is being threatened. You didn’t teach anybody anything. Hopefully you will learn from this incident and do the right thing next time.August 23, 2011 4:28 pm at 4:28 pm #882873
I’m not sure what that means cr1 can u elaborate?July 6, 2012 2:44 pm at 2:44 pm #882874
Friday BumpaJuly 6, 2012 4:58 pm at 4:58 pm #882875
That’s Friday Bumpa™July 6, 2012 9:58 pm at 9:58 pm #882876
personally, I think GOq did nothing wrong, where I am- people are always yapping loudly to their companion on the way home from work, on the local bus. Sometimes, giving their day to the entire detail- and some people can get pretty graphic too, with strong language.
Sometimes, after a long day, no one wants to hear the other person’s day. And wants some quiet time before they arrive home and have to deal with whatever is waiting for them at home.
I think he did it to show how annoying she was the entire time. And GOQ – kol hakavod, I would have done the same thing.July 6, 2012 10:38 pm at 10:38 pm #882877
Ty M.O.!July 8, 2012 3:53 am at 3:53 am #882878
when u say u were wearing a baseball cap so no chillul Hashem, is this the same as when jewish people have come out of bars, peep shows etc wearing a cap but looking totally frum in every other way such as peyos and a beard and think no one can figure out that they are jewish? SERIOUSLY???????????July 8, 2012 4:19 am at 4:19 am #882879
I find it curious that someone can disturb others on a bus with loudmouth conversation, and the victim is being blamed! While I probably would not have done what you did, Goq, I nevertheless totally get why you did it. This woman might have been totally unaware of how loudly she was speaking, but that doesn’t mean it should not be pointed out to her. The problem is that people who are so thoughtless (talk on cell phones in restaurants, have loud conversations in public, play loud music late at night, etc.) never recognize in themselves that they are doing something that bothers another person. And if they do, they clearly do not care!
I would have said something on the bus, more along the lines of, “I don’t know if you realize it, but everyone cannot help but hear your personal business.”July 8, 2012 4:21 am at 4:21 am #882880
Its ok mewho i can pass for gentile easy.July 8, 2012 4:38 am at 4:38 am #882881
Goq, it was more than stupid. You took Hashem’s name in vain (Rav Ovadia is even machmir on “oh my gosh”).July 8, 2012 8:03 am at 8:03 am #882882
Good for you Goq you were right to make a point. However the cap may not solve the chillul hashem aspect. Its easier for non jews to spot out jews, even non-religious ones, then you realize.July 8, 2012 1:48 pm at 1:48 pm #882883
Avi K: That does not seem to be what the majority of Poskim hold. And while many are Machmir, Rav Moshe is Meikil and he is certainly enough for anyone to rely upon in America in just about any issue.
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