Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Its not only what you say…
- This topic has 21 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 15 years, 11 months ago by RoshYeshivah.
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January 14, 2009 3:33 pm at 3:33 pm #589140SJSinNYCMember
I figured I would bring this up while we are all (relatively) getting along. Sometimes, these things are easier to hear when you are not in a heated debate.
Just remember, whenever you type anything, that its not only what you say but how you say it. Try to reread what you wrote to see if its offensive, combatitive, just plain nasty…remember, there is a BIG difference between disagreeing with a philosophy, psak halacha etc and attacking the Rabbi, person etc.
We are all (for the most part) guilty of saying nasty things in haste. I am no exception to this. I hope this doesnt come across negatively – I really mean this for the health of the coffee room. I started to stay away a bit because I didnt like some of the comments I was making…it was going away from the respect I try to usually show to people and moving into the offensive category.
January 14, 2009 5:00 pm at 5:00 pm #631293JewessMemberI think that when typing words, as opposed to speaking them, it’s hard for people to understand what you mean sometimes. I may say something jokingly and smile when I am face to face with somebody but it may come across as rude in cyber world. Uggg…technology. I think YWN needs emoticons. 🙂
January 14, 2009 5:03 pm at 5:03 pm #631294mchemtobMemberI’m a nightly reader of the cr and very rarely post…I respect you for noticing a problem with the cr postings (a reason why I rarely post) … be it too personal in terms of attacking one another or just too personal, (ie: manicure schedules) and I commend you for taking a positive step to be a part of the solution 🙂
January 14, 2009 5:29 pm at 5:29 pm #631295feivelParticipantSJ
absolutely
January 14, 2009 6:22 pm at 6:22 pm #631296yoshiMemberJewess – Took the words right out of my mouth. Totally agree!
January 14, 2009 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #631297SJSinNYCMemberAnon, thank you, but sometimes I slip up. I made a particularly nasty comment to one poster (and then apologized rather quickly), but that was really my wake up call!
January 14, 2009 6:44 pm at 6:44 pm #631298RoshYeshivahMemberDon’t you know the story? a boy learning in israel sent his father a nice letter about his learning etc… and at the end he wrote”papa please send me pants-tate shik mir hoizen” the father comes home in a bad mood and reads the letter and everything just makes him mad and when he comes to the end he screams”is that the way you ask your father for pants?! with such disrespect! as if i have to give him pants?!”a half our later the father calms down and rereads the letter and says “wow such a wonderful boy he’s learning,.. and in the end he ask me so nicely to send him pants with such warmth and respect!” point is it’s a matter of how you look at it,
January 14, 2009 7:34 pm at 7:34 pm #631299oomisParticipantSJS, I cannot recall a single instance where I thought you wrote something disrespectfully, even while disagreeing with someone.
January 14, 2009 8:02 pm at 8:02 pm #631300squeakParticipantoomis1105
Member
SJS, I cannot recall a single instance where I thought you wrote something disrespectfully, even while disagreeing with someone.
Which exactly proves RY’s point.
January 14, 2009 8:12 pm at 8:12 pm #631301areivimzehlazehParticipantRY- this boy definitely does not run in my circles. letters? only pants? pahleez- ah bissel hasugis mein kind
January 14, 2009 8:13 pm at 8:13 pm #631302myshadowMembermchemtob, what’s wrong with manicure schedules?
January 14, 2009 8:48 pm at 8:48 pm #631303SJSinNYCMemberOomis, I assure you it was a nasty comment. I apologized and the member forgave me (and wasn’t too insulted either). I did feel very bad.
I realize on the internet that its especially hard to make sure that tone and inflection come across. This happens a lot with sarcasm, saying things tongue-in-cheek or even the other person just reading it wrong during a heated debate.
Thats why its especially important to be so careful!
January 14, 2009 9:14 pm at 9:14 pm #631304areivimzehlazehParticipantmyshadow- just came back from my pedicure, yum, how relaxing and delicious (i honestly hope this didn’t just go 747)
anyone familiar with the 747 expression?
January 14, 2009 9:53 pm at 9:53 pm #631305beaconParticipantareivim, sorry it just went over my head 😉
January 14, 2009 10:47 pm at 10:47 pm #631306brooklyn19Participantcompletely blank. must be you made it up – never heard of it!
January 14, 2009 10:51 pm at 10:51 pm #631307areivimzehlazehParticipantway to go beacon
January 14, 2009 11:00 pm at 11:00 pm #631308brooklyn19Participantareivim – just tell us it’s like “no soap radio” and we promise we’ll laugh for you :}
January 14, 2009 11:03 pm at 11:03 pm #631309charlie brownMembernever heard it but from beacon’s response I can figure it out, I guess
January 14, 2009 11:09 pm at 11:09 pm #631310areivimzehlazehParticipantcharlie- i see they taught ‘reading comprehension through context’ in the old days
January 15, 2009 12:55 am at 12:55 am #631311RoshYeshivahMemberSqueak i see i scored a point with you for my story, thats a big achievement! and areivim this story was told before you were born!(about 16 years ago lol)
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