December 1, 2011 8:29 pm at 8:29 pm #831480popa_bar_abbaParticipant
In any event, I have never heard of a case of child molesting, where it wasn’t the parents’ fault.
You think molesters just randomly choose kids?
No, they choose kids who have low self esteem, and who are unlikely to tell their parents.
How do kids get low self esteem? From parents who criticize them instead of building them up.
What kind of kids don’t tell their parents if they are being raped? The kind whose parents haven’t taught them that they will be understanding if they tell them something bad or embarrassing.
So I’m not really expecting any of these parents to give a hoot anyway. Except to the extent that the parents feel insulted personally that someone is hurting their kid.December 1, 2011 8:34 pm at 8:34 pm #831481mikehall12382Member
“please, and have a little respect for our rabbonim”
I could never respect anyone who protects molesters and not children. I will never respect anyone who strong arms me into not reporting abuse to the authorities…NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!!
msseeker, you can choose not to believe the stories, but there is a big problem, it is more wide spread then you know and there is a huge conspiracy of silence.December 1, 2011 8:34 pm at 8:34 pm #831482miritchkaMember
msseeker: You say you know this is happening. But thats obviously not meaning much to you! Dont think that just because you only know of a few cases that there is nothing else going on. UNFORTUNATELY THIS IS MORE COMMON THAN YOU’D LIKE TO THINK! CHILDREN DONT NECESSARILY KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THEM! THEY TRUST THESE INDIVIDUALS AND WOULDNT THINK THAT THIS ‘CHASHUVA’ PERSON WOULD DO SOMETHING WRONG! IT COULD TAKE YEARS UNTIL THE CHILD REALIZES SOMETHING WRONG WAS DONE AND HAS THE GUTS TO REPORT IT! Go online and do a search, you’ll find a list of Jewish molesters who were outed by teh children who are now adults! Baruch Hashem your children dont know about it! Baruch Hashem my children dont know about it! But it is very real! And deep down i’m sure you know it too, otherwise why would you ‘educate’ your children to prevent it? No, not every teacher/rebbe is a molester, but there are too many! Its terrible that our rabbanim sweep it under the rug!
Cherrybim: ur right, its easy to talk the talk. And its just as easy to scream a scream! I know i might be scared or too horified to go over and pull the child away, but i pray that i’d scream! one cannot just stand by or walk away!December 1, 2011 9:46 pm at 9:46 pm #831483🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
Here’s an interesting perspective. Please do not pass judgement on this person, just add it to your data base. A girl who was personally abused for years as a little girl by a frum, non-rabbi in the community was in a place where she saw, off to the side somewhere, the perpetrator and a 16 year old girl. She said she KNEW where they were going, KNEW what this girl was gonna go thru, and couldn’t bring herself to do anything. She said and did nothing, but has never forgiven herself. So we may THINK that we will be supermoms, but we don’t really KNOW anything. And GD FORBID we should ever be tested.December 1, 2011 11:02 pm at 11:02 pm #831484charlie brownMember
wow, i thought some other sites were treif because they bash all rabbonim with a wide brush and blame them for all the world’s problems, and that YWN was better than them all because they don’t allow this trash.
Then I read aries comments and wonder if this site is any better than the site allegedly belonging to ______hDecember 1, 2011 11:35 pm at 11:35 pm #831485wanderingchanaParticipant
pba, I strongly disagree. It’s not the parents’ fault unless r”l it’s the parent doing the abusing. The fault lies square on the shoulders of the perpetrator.
A kid can have all the self-esteem they need and come to trust an authority figure, who takes advantage of that trust. No one is immune.December 2, 2011 12:05 am at 12:05 am #831486popa_bar_abbaParticipant
You misunderstand. I don’t mean to remove blame from the perpetrator. On the contrary, it is worse since s/he takes advantage of a vulnerable kid.December 2, 2011 1:11 am at 1:11 am #831487aries2756Participant
A child’s self esteem can be destroyed by others not only by parents. Parents can be a child’s greates fans and they can still have low self-esteem and lack of confidence do to others or various circumstances.
Molesters groom their victims and they choose those who they are pretty sure will either believe them or will be too freightened to tell. It is not only a matter of parents not believing them it is also a matter of being threatened. Many are threatened that their family will be harmed and since they are being harmed they believe what they are told.December 2, 2011 2:36 am at 2:36 am #831488mikehall12382Member
It’s also important to note that molestors purposely seek out positions where they will have access to children. So while not all teachers have evil intentions, I would still urge cation and remain
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