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I’m stuck here in jury duty room 156 and I’m going nuts from boredom. I’m surrounded by weirdoes and I’m starving! What would happen if I just run off? Will I be put on the no fly zone if I try to escape the country? I hate democracy! 🙁 anyone have any good excuses I could use as why I can’t serve? Granted it’s probably a C’H but desperate times call for desperate measures…. Maybe I should just man up as it looks like everyone else is behaving and having a grand time of scratching their hair or chewing gum. This guy sitting to my right sounds (and looks) like a cow. Oh well. end rant. Thank G-D for the invention of the iPhone!
When you are questioned, just tell them you strongly believe in the death penalty – for double parking!
You’ll be dismissed before you can say “this guy’s a wacko!”
oh wow sounds like fun! well I think you just gotta stay there ;-( well you wanna hear an amusing story about jury duty??? so my principal got married, and 2 weeks after the wedding she got called for jury duty! She says she was still one of those oblivious kids, and had no clue what jury duty entailed. She went, AND GOT CHOSEN! and it wasn’t just jury duty for the day, it was a two week murder case! Can you believe it???? She had to go in every day for two weeks, and was just a newly wed!!!! so be happy you’re probably not in that position!!!
Good luck!
>O<613
Tell the Judge you can immediately determine guilt by a “perp’s” face.
Just tell them you’re a ____ year old Archie Bunker (you fill in the appropriate age) If you don’t know who Archie Bunker is, you clearly were born within the last 25 years!
AOM, you wouldn’t get dismissed for that. They’d probably find you in contempt of court. Find out what the case is, and say you’ve been involved in something similar before. For example, if the case is a criminal case for credit card fraud, say that you’ve been a victim of it, and they’ll probably let you go.
OK guys, “Contempt of Court” try to avoid that!
I hate to tell you this, but it is because people find ways to get off of jury duty that the likes of Lemerick Nelson got off for killing Yankel Rosenberg, and OJ got off for killing his wife. If every smart and decent person in our society stays off the jury, every killer and every ganuf will go free. Think about that while you are sitting there bored. Read a book or a sefer. Do something you don’t normally have time for while you run around your busy day. Knit a sweater, but if you have to serve you might do something worthwhile.
I cannot believe the number of people here who advocate lying.
It’s true. I can determine a defendent’s guilt by his face. At least I believe so. By admitting this to the judge, I am being honest.
If the defense attorney still wants me on the jury, G-d only help him.
After all this Country has given you, I think you can manage a day every eight years.
A day or two you’ll give whether you’re selected or not. If you are selected, it could be weeks.
I agree with aries2756 and the others; you can’t complain about the murderers and other thugs walking around if the sane voices are not part of the system.
In Baltimore City they show movies in the jury rooms.
I know a chassidishe landlord who lost his case, he says, because all of the “smart ones” got off the case due to some of the antics posted above…
Did the chassidishe landlord ever serve, or was he one of the “smart ones”?
Have fun!!!!! bring something to do for tomorrow.
My bad memory of jury duty is being let go because I was on a long criminal case & missed lots of work…
Under federal law, juror’s jobs are protected while they serve. An employer may not terminate an employee because (s)he is serving on a jury.
Should’ve sued for your job.
you should be happy cuz now you get two spend 20 hrs a day for the next 2 weeks on the cr
Bravo, aries2756! Following Lemrick Nelson’s acquittal of mudering Yankel Rosenbaum, the jury went out and partied with him.
sac,
I was aware of that fact & so were they…it was a yeshiva…
Jury Duty, even the waiting around, is necessary and useful. Even if you just sit around, the fact that the court can assemble a jury on short notice helps move the justice system along. Many defendants (or their lawyers) will seek to plea bargain rather than face a trial by jury.
So, by waiting around you are serving a purpose.
In Massachusetts, the county courts have a one-day / one-trial system. Most jury duty obligations are for one day, and you frequently get released early, after all the days trials have settled.
After that, you are prohibited from being called again for three years. I have at least seven more months where I don’t have to worry about being called.
I get called every 5-10 years, but never complain about it. I’m glad to have the option of trial by a jury of my peers, and it’s really a small price to pay.
Juries are necessary. Even if you just sit around, the fact that the court can assemble a jury on short notice helps move the justice system along. Many defendants (or their lawyers) will seek to plea bargain rather than face a trial by jury.
But I am opposed to the plea bargain system, and I don’t want to contribute to the process which facilitates it.
Prosecutors use the plea bargain system to force defendants to forgo trial by threatening to ask for maximum punishments, which are far out of proportion to the crime.
Lawmakers make sentencing guidelines with built in allowance for prosecutors to make leniency for plea bargains, which means that the ones who go to trial are being punished excessively.
We are basically punishing them for insisting on their right to trial.
I want no part in that.
there is simply not enough time or money to try every case. The justice system would collapse under its own weight and no one would get a speedy trial. The system depends on plea bargaining. You wouldn’t want to have to pay what that cost, in terms of money and justice delayed.
You wouldn’t want to have to pay what that cost, in terms of money and justice delayed.
“No justice would be better than this injustice.”
Ted Kennedy, about Robert Bork.
(In a great example of the non-inflammatory discussions that used to happen in the senate before the Republicans came along.)
This story was a letdown for me because when I read “I’m surrounded by weirdoes and I’m starving!” I thought the story was going to get really good, really quick……but apparently, you didn’t eat them.
You have to have a sense of hakaras hatov to our medina which enables us to serve on a jury. Back in europe, times werent so pashut, and the governments hated yiddens involvement with the government, and even persecuted them. baruch Ha-Shem that we live in America, which the Aibeshter made to be a nice liberal government. next time you are in jury duty, open up a gemara, learn a shtikel and realize it could be far worse
A gute nacht
Moshe
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