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I was listening to a lecturing by Rabbi Klatzko and he makes a good point about putting more chesed and friendliness in kiruv. He mentions that instead of just focusing on the kiruv, we should focus on chesed and friendliness, and that in turn will have an impact on people. For example, nicely greeting people, smiling, listening and showing interest in them. A small deed like that goes a long way.
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When we build connections with others plus inspire and mekarav them, we accomplish both unity and spreading Torah
Well to me this is obvious. If you arent genuinely loving and friendly to another person why would they want to take steps to be more observant. You arent exactly making a great impression by acting like a missionary!
Kiruv means to bring close. That requires warmth and love. If you arent capable of loving your fellow Jew you will likely not be able to influence him or her either.
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