Kiruv Rechokim

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    I recently got into a discussion with a co-worker of mine. She is Jewish and told me that her mothers mothers etc. is Jewish, and same with her husband. So she knows that makes one Jewish. (On the fathers side they have pretty much everything else). However she is Jewish by “name” only and celebrates non-Jewish holidays as well. Her son is dating a catholic girl. We work in a frum setting so she is definitely exposed to religious Jews.

    Do you think that I should make any effort to be Mekarev her or at least have religious discussions? She is a very nice person, in her 50’s and is also pretty opinionated and hates being judged…

    (For the record I have been involved in Kiruv, and have been told by many that I am quite easygoing and non-judgemental.)


    I think Hashem puts you in certain situations for a reason. It was no coincidence that she starting talking to you like this. Go for it!


    i get that all the time. its always awkward but i usually make an effort. basically i just start with jewish identity like “oh! that means youre jewish!” and then we get into a discussion about jews and stuff and i try to recommend some reading material and stuff like that…yeah. it sometimes works and sometimes backfires but its always worth trying.


    I don’t have any experience in kiruv but I definitly encourage you to at least have a short discussion with her. Sorry I cant offer any tips. Don’t shy from getting advice either if needed.

    Chazak V’Emotz!!


    As someone already stated nothing happens by chance. Hashem put you in this situation for a reason…go for it


    I am in a similar situation. While I don’t believe in Kiruv per se, I figured that she should have some connection to her people.

    For every holiday I give her a small token of the holiday and a brief explanation of the meaning behind the day, etc. I gave her Mishloach Manos on Purim, a silk flower arrangement and some cheese cake for Shavuos, etc. She is always very appreciative of my doing so.


    Heres the only thing. I am afraid of it backfiring-especially since I work with her everyday. I want to know the way I can do it without seeming at all that I have an agenda.

    Also, I started the conversation. She used a Jewish sounding word, so I asked her “Are you Jewish?” She by nature is very talkative and open, so that was when she started telling me the other things. However when I asked her if her sons girlfriend is Jewish, she seemed a tad nervous about that question, and didnt see anything wrong with her being Catholic.

    I think its a great idea to give her reading material and gifts near the holidays, as I have done with co-workers in the past, however I am not sure how open to that she would be.


    push it gently if you feel her pushing back then back off.


    the best Kiruv is being a good example about the beauty of Yidishkite

    Sister Bear

    Build a relationship with her. Then you can suggest things but first you should build a relationship, because that is what will make her more open to becoming frum. Also, if you suggest a book or something and she says no, don’t give up on her and drop her as friend, because that will give her a bad taste about orthodox Jews.


    Good Points everyone! I think for now I will just focus on building a normal, healthy relationship with her, since I like her as a person a lot, and she has a great character.

    In the future, I may revive this thread to keep y’all posted 🙂

    Thanks all!


    I agree with mikehall. Sometimes it’s best just to show the beauty of Judaism by example, and photogenic, I’m pretty sure your’e a wonderful example of true yidishkite. Keep us posted!

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