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I am sure everyone all of you are somewhat aware of what is going on with frum teenagers these day. I know people will say not my kids, or cant be the teens I know but sadly the “good crowd” is experimenting and slowly falling into the traps of society. Everyone knows about the drugs and drinking amongst teens but if you knew the extent and what is happening in the frum communities you would be beyond shocked. The things that are being done wheter drugs, drinking, guys and girls and many other things are not only considered bad in the frum community but in any secular society.And Im not just talking about the at risk kids or the kids going of the derech, there are kids whose flame inside has been distinguished for some reason but they cant leave frumkeit so they continue doing the daily motions but it means nothing to them, on the outside they look lie every other frum yid, but inside they are gone. I am sure many of you will sit here right now and deny what I’m saying, but why else would I say it here? Unfortunatley I have seen it all and done it all and looking at me you would never know. I am not going to give specefics of whats happening but I am sure you can imagine. Instead of just talking about the problem, I want to propose an idea. Kosher hangouts. Co-ed entertainment with arcades and different nightly entertainment, supervised by rebeim or different mentors. I know many of you will be like co-ed? Compared to whats going on this environment is much healthier and how else are you going to draw these kids out of their parties, you have to give them something worth leaving whatever they have. If we dont stifle them but encourage them and have adults there who wont critcize the kids but support them I feel we can move mountains. Most of these kids have emotional problems and questions about Judiasm that were never answered for some reason, and most of them are good people who have amazing potential if we would just give them a chance. I feel so much can be done, but if we just site here idly and talk about the problem it will just get really bad. I dont have the means to bring this to fruition but I am sure someone can help continue the seed I planted. Please ehar my pleas
I agree hundred percent. so many teenagers are out in the streets for hours because they have no safe place to simply ‘hang around’ in a kosher way. These kids then end up in arcades and nightclubs for lack of kosher places to just chill and have a little break from an often stressful typical teenage life. The teens would benefit so much from being able to get to know new people,relax and entertain themselves in a fully kosher environment supervised with friendly, approachable, albeit vigilant and responsible adults. For some searching teenagers,it could be a safe haven,and can keep them out of the places that can destroy them emotionally and spiritually. Iv’e had this idea mentioned a couple of times to me by friends,but we came to the conclusion that the frum world won’t be open enough to accept this plan,and that is truly unfortunate, for with that blockage we sometimes have against accepting new ideas originating from secular culture,we sometimes incur more damage then good. of course,we must stay strong and not be open to ideas that can harm us,but we must be more mindful to what the present young generation really needs. I really hope this comes into fruition one day very soon,it can save so many neshomos getting trapped into places they don’t actually want to be,just because there was a lack of kosher places for them to hang around in.
I’m not sure if your aware of this but there are quite a few large jewish communities that already have kosher hangouts open day and night for anyone to come anytime and take a break with full entertainment and food provided all free of charge etc… Compared to them going and buying a drink etc….
I’m not sure which community you are living in and how large the situation of kids at risk is there. If it’s a large community and the amount of kids at risk is growing then perhaps it’s time for YOU to go to your community leaders/askonim and speak to them about this very serious issue before anyone C”V goes off the derech.
May Hashem give you lots of Hatzlacha in everything
the only kind of hangout places we have in our community that kinda have a few mentors and adults there are for teens that already went otd or are really at risk and it’s not the kind of atmosphere a heimish teen wants to spend time in without being influenced by other kids. Those places are great for people that were completely ensnared and pulled away from yidishkeit and are slowly making a return or for teens that are really at risk and this is what’s keeping them from completely sliding. Kol hakavod to the people organising and helping these teens,for there is unfortunately a big number of otd kids in our community…and they deserve to be loved for and helped. What i’m referring to is a kosher hangout spot for the average frum teenager so they dont end up hanging around in the streets for lack of alternative. Maybe there are such places in some communities,but a lot don’t and i hope it becomes a more wide spread thing. I’m too young to open such a place or speak to askanim about it,but hopefully one day soon,or hopefully not,for there would be these kosher hangout spots in existence already.
If these normal frum teenagers are holding at a frum level still boruch Hashem then they should still be in Mesivta/ high school with a full day schedule which includes secular studies and sports also with your friends besides for hebrew first.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? if the teenager is not on this regular frum level anymore C”V then these places I mentioned above opened almost 24-7 including shabbos with programs, food and mentors all completely free paid for by community sponsors. ARE FOR KIDS AT RISK ON ALL LEVELS not only at a certain level and they are loved by their mentor and Rabbi who runs these houses in each community.
If you are a regular mesivta boy and need some kosher fun and entertainment (mesivta high school actually is a pretty busy day going until late at night) then ask a classmate to join you for some fun ices to Rita’s or a game in basketball etc….
Mods? Veterans?
Why can’t I see almost all the posts on this topic?
Teenager, my heart goes out to all those kids described in your post.
I never experienced what you describe, but I can identify with what pain is.
I know that almost every kid who is losing grip on his Yiddishkeit is coming from a place of unbearable emotional pain.
And that I can understand.I don’t think a co-ed option would be a good idea, simply because it would be a kind of “haskama” of girls spending time with boys. We don’t wan’t to encourage it. It should still be something that kids might feel bad about doing, even if they can’t always control themselves.
I would suggest kids looking for a mentor. Even if right now a boy feels that he can’t give up his drugs/alcohol/hanging out with girls, if he has a mentor who looks out for him and is there when he needs to talk etc, he will be so much better off.
Do you agree?
@nom what do you mean?
There are only 5 posts before yours.i hear your suggestion, and I agree its a problem, but as a teenager myself who is not at risk I don’t think its a good idea because your saying it would be for kids who would be doing worse things, but I think it would also draw in kids who wouldn’t even be talking to girls but now have an option to. For instance, I dont talk to girls anymore, but if a place like this open up, I’;d be very tempted to go. Also, if guys meet girls in this place, maybe it stays clean while there, but who knows where they will meet up next?
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