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For years, I have been amused and bemused by the lavish kiddushes on Shabbos. Why is it necessary to have such expensive, fancy kiddushes with assorted cakes, kugel, cholent and now even salads? Don’t we all have a seudas Shabbos prepared at home? I understand we have a neshama yesirah, but really, most people I imagine sit down for their seudah after returning from shul, so why make it possible to fill up beforehand? I say limit the kiddush to cake, schnapps and soda like the old days.
No! I want my cholent! You can keep the salads, though.
Shul cholent is always better than home cholent sorry.
goq,
shhhhh, my wife might be insulted
That’s why I don’t eat the salads – to leave room for my wife’s cholent.
Anything less than what I serve when I make a kiddush is cheap, and anything more is ostentatious.
I would gladly trade all the salads and mezonos for an upgrade on the scotch. But the cholent and herring has to stay.
The Golden rule of thumb is that all kiddushes need at the very least drumitzs, cholent, egg rolls, franks in blanket, pastries, soda, last but not least snapps.
If you’re not into them, then don’t partake.
I never B”N eat at kiddushes. I make sure to have some coffee in the morning. That way, if my family or guests come really late from such a kiddush and we start after chatzot, then I will not have fasted on Shabbat. In fact that’s what happened this past Shabbat.
As far as what people do, I’m not to judge negatively. People want to include others in their simcha, which is a nice thing. I still try to thank the host, even though I don’t eat. They still put out food for me and included me in their simcha.
So you buy into the lavish kiddushes.
No, the ones I have to pay for are simple. I enjoy a good lavish kiddush, though, as long as someone else is footing the bill.
Just because you think “assorted cakes, kugel, cholent and now even salads” is lavish, doesn’t mean I do. Of course, if you are insulted or otherwise put off by “lavish” dont attend.
flatbusher
“I say limit the kiddush to cake, schnapps and soda like the old days.”
No way I say add more!
to be clear: I am not forcing you too, if you dont want to Gezunterheit. I dont either.
Don’t limit what other people do though, that isn’t nice
Flatbusher, that’s a boich sevara. In other words, whether your sevara is right depends on each person’s boich.
Don’t we all have a seudas Shabbos prepared at home? So I have an incredibly ingenious solution for you flatbusher:- Keep a box of Matzo @your Shul, and when there is a Kiddush, lave your hands and consume a sheet of Matzo, and you thus will be fulfilling Seudo Sheniyo at the Kiddush.
By the time you eat more food at home later, that becomes your Seudo Schelischis; This is especially ingenious solution during short winter days.
I agree! Every couple of weeks my husband comes home from shul and tells me that he already ate! Doesn’t he realize that I worked hard to make for him a Shabbos meal, especially when I make yapchik! It takes time and effort and the least he can do for me is eat!
A while ago the Wall Street Journal ran a story on really lavish kiddushes. These were $10,000+ spectacles that weren’t even for simchas. It was a huge chilul Hashem IMO.
good foos
Ah, p’tcha.
This sounds like something that someone I know would say, I say the smaller kiddush is fine and nice, but obviously the lavish kiddush is nicer. but I still think even a lavish kiddush should stick to cholent, kugel, herring,cake, etc and not go into other things like salads because that’s already becoming a full-fledged meal.
No way I say add more!
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Don’t limit what other people do though, that isn’t nice
There are takanos in many shuls limiting what is and is not permitted to give at a kiddush. Do you think the rabbis who enforce these rules in their shul are wrong for enacting them so that some people don’t feel pressured into sponsoring a kiddush that costs more than they can afford?
Thanks for the laugh DY…
And for all ladies out there, it’s a good idea to try to get the Kiddush “schedule” before Shabbos so you can “tweak” your seudah accordingly. Simple things like cooking less beans in the chulent, a smaller challah if you have one in the freezer or buy, maybe cut one salad etc. It just feels better not to have the disappointment of lots of leftovers. And if he changes his mind about attending nobody will starve either.
Mammele:
And for all ladies out there, it’s a good idea to try to get the Kiddush “schedule” before Shabbos so you can “tweak” your seudah accordingly.
Nonsense. Let the husband show his appreciation by eating less at the kiddish and eating a normal meal at home. Food is always better at home anyway, or at least I think so. My wife is an excellent cook, our kids are learning the art of cooking and baking well, and no food at a kiddish can measure up to what’s on the table at home.
So, what comes down to is a disgruntled balabusta who has leftovers every shabbos because her husband eats in shul, or worse, is insulted weekly by her husband not eating her food. That’s an issue she needs to address with her husband not those making a kuddush.
My cooking, so I am told, is very edible. That means that whatever was not eaten on Shabbos, is VERY welcome for dinner on Sunday.
Why do you assume that everyone has a seuda waiting for them at home?
Plus, the Vilna Gaon held that to have kiddush b’makom seuda, you must wash and eat a real seuda (with bread) after Kiddush (munching on mezonos is not good enough).
KICHEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At the more thoughtfull shuls an Email goes out midweek announcing the kiddush. Many care more about the single malts in shul than the beans in the cholunt at home. Now if the wives would serve single malt insteadof chicken and cholunt ……………
Lior just so your question.
Yes absolutly. Grownups should act like grownups and not spend on kiddushim they cant afford. THat is what the takana should be, I have never heard that shmooze, the shmooze is always the way you describe, that is backwards.
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