loud music at weddings

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  • #1353926
    bplady
    Participant

    Do you feel the music is too loud at weddings?

    #1353940
    TheGoq
    Participant

    I am more bothered by the loud makeup.

    #1353947
    yehudayona
    Participant

    It’s a major issue. I always wear earplugs at weddings, but I see infants with no hearing protection. Ask any audiologist what they think of the volume of the music at weddings. I’ve seen musicians refuse the baal hasimcha’s request to turn it down, claiming that if they do so, nobody will hire them.

    #1353965
    Joseph
    Participant

    How loud do musicians play their music at goyim’s weddings?

    #1353971
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Goyim are more likely to call the police at each other

    #1354013
    Uncle Ben
    Participant

    RebYidd; Are you saying a guest at a goyishe wedding would call the police to complain that the music is too loud? If so what can the police so about it if it’s not disturbing the neighbors?

    #1354103
    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    @Yehudayona
    The baal hasimcha whose request the volume be lowered by the band is refused has a bad contract. Having married off two daughters in the past 16 months the contracts I signed had a clause added by me requiring the band to adjust volume as instructed by Mrs. CTL, the Kallah, Chason or me. I told the booking agent, either sign the contract and adhere to it or I’d spend my money elsewhere.
    It is not the responsibility of the baal hasimcha to help the band get other buisiness.

    Personally, if a band leader ever refused to lower the volume at a simcha where I was paying the band, he’d be told he had 2 alternatives, lower the volume or pack up and leave with final payment (and be on the end of a lawsuit). The lawsuit being just a threat…a frum band leader would be taken to a beis din.

    NO baal hasimcha or kallah should be intimidated by any wedding supplier, they work at our pleasure, they don’t run the show.

    #1354101
    lesschumras
    Participant

    Joseph, what is the relevance of your quedtion re gentile weddngs? How many do you go to? You could call 311 on modt bands at frum weddingd for far exceeding legal sound limits. Kudt because gentiles may do it doesn’t make it right

    #1354227
    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    lesschumras…………..
    not all municipalities has noise ordinances
    I’ve been trying to get one passed in our town for 12 years with no luck. The best i could do is limit noise between 11 PM and 7 AM

    #1354228
    Joseph
    Participant

    LC, I was wondering whether having these obnoxiously loud bands at weddings has unfortunately carried over to us after originating from goyishe weddings.

    #1354236
    Uncle Ben
    Participant

    Joseph; Your suspicion is correct. My father who is in his upper eighties amv”s, told me that until the hippies in the sixties started using amplifiers the music at chasunos was unamplified! Apparently even without brain-jarring ear splitting “noise” the Chuppos V’Kiddushin were still valid!!

    #1354233
    eman
    Participant

    At one of my daughters weddings, I approached the musician and asked him to lower the volume. He did, but 2 minutes later, he raised it. I then told him that if he doesn’t lower it, I will pull the plugs out. He tells me that it will then take him 10 minutes to restart playing. I say that’s your problem not mine. He lowers it, only to raise it again 2 minutes later. I now come back and just walk to the electrical outlet. Like a 5 year old, he says, I’ll listen and realizing I meant business, he listened.

    #1354242
    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    @Joseph
    These obn oxiously loud band are caused by them wanting to be the star of the chasunah, not the Chassan and Kallah.
    It is the baal hasimcha’s duty to set the rules and make the vendors adhere to them. This goes for the band, caterer, florist and so on.
    It is the baal hasimchas money and he (and his wife) get to control things.
    We are not doormats to be walked on by the paid help

    #1354266
    huju
    Participant

    CTLawyer has the right idea. I would think – probably wrongly – that a band would turn down the music if requested by the host, without a contract provision, but the contract provision is nevertheless a great idea, and probably sets a tone for softer music (pun intended).

    I’d like to hear from some professional musicians: what’s with the deafening volume? Is it a cover for the mediocrity of your musicianship? Or a way to keep guests away from you? Or have you already lost your own hearing.

    I’ll be attending a simcha next month where Mommy/hostess is an otorinolaryngologyst (ENT physician). Hope the music reflects her medical knowledge.

    #1354304
    Little Froggie
    Participant

    Please believe me, I have no interest in advertising. Actually I’d really, REALLY wish to remain anonymous, TO ALL, so I have no want for anyone’s business here.

    I do Chasunas and other Jewish affairs. I have my unique style, which I make it VERY CLEAR at the beginning, It’s basically not really unique, just a lingering relish of the music and style that was. And there is (believe it or not) a discerning clientele that appreciates such music. I will not do any of today’s junk that passes as music (or whatever else they call those exercising / trance sessions in the middle of a wedding!).

    And the same goes for the volume of the music. I do have enough machines to make it pleasant, to make it a true simcha, to get people REALLY in the dancing…. but I will not blow out anyone’s ears. I feel it is always more respectful to request the music be made louder, than to request me “to shut up”. I ALWAYS start low and adjust it upwards AS NEEDED, than the other way. During the meal tablemates can converse with one another, having soft music played the way it was intended to be – in the background. During dancing, again, it’s louder, obviously, to be able to give the crowd a “lift”, it’s pretty geshmack (if I may say so), but you won’t go home with your ears ringing.

    #1354307
    eman
    Participant

    CTLAWYER: Maybe this would interest you. People should start measuring the noise level at chasuna’s(that could be done via an app). as a few hundred people are there, a class action lawsuit can be filed against the musicians.

    #1354317

    My Rosh Yeshiva will not attend a wedding with loud music or more than a one man band

    #1354401
    jakob
    Participant

    if you cant stand the loud music then move further away from the stage where the speakers & players are all working

    #1354434
    Joseph
    Participant

    What if you’re assigned a seat near the band?

    #1354445
    apushatayid
    Participant

    I’ve been to simchos where my insides were thumping involuntarily to the beat of the music.

    #1354471
    jakob
    Participant

    joseph

    Usually the seats of eating tables are not Right in front or beside the loud music their usually in the back center of the dancing floor which makes the loud music much lower by the time it reaches way out to the eating tables around the hall

    #1354473
    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    @eman
    As I stated not all municipalities have noise ordinances, so it doesn’t matter what level you record with an app.
    #2 The guests have no standing, they did not hire the band. If they don’t like the noise level they are free to leave.

    The last 2 weddings we hosted were in the CTL Compound out of doors. The music is not held in by walls and ceilings and doesn’t seem as loud as in a confined place. The same volume settings in an amp have different effects on the audience depending on venue. The worst experiences I’ve ever had are at the basement wedding halls in Brooklyn, the assorted Ateres whatevers that have low ceilings and no sound deadening material on walls, floors, etc.

    #1354477
    bplady
    Participant

    There have been some good suggestions to my inquiry. We should add a clause when booking a band.
    I would like to request that one man bands need not be so high and screechy. Sometimes they are louder than 5 man bands.

    I am thinking of keeping cotton balls in my bag when I go to weddings. Then, next time I see a baby in middle of the loud music, I can offer the mother two cotton balls for the baby’s ears.
    Maybe, after a while this will take off.

    #1354482
    bplady
    Participant

    To apushatay, if you stand next to the band, the music goes into the chest.

    #1354502
    bplady
    Participant

    Most of my weddings are in Brooklyn in the Ateres halls. That’s what I am referring to.
    How about this: We in this forum can do something. Sometimes, it only takes one person to change things. Maybe when we go to a vort, , we can gently suggest to the baal simcha that when they
    book the music they might want to put in a clause not to have it too loud. If we keep doing that, it might change things. We can each tell our friends of this idea and it might become popular.

    In other words, instead of talking, let’s all take action. Let’s try it and see what happens.

    #1354578
    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    @bplady
    Yes it takes action instead of talk to accomplish things.
    Mrs. CTL is a designer/builder/Realtor She constantly is explaining to clients the problems of ‘hard’ rooms that have no carpet, no fabric on walls, no accoustical ceiling tile. Even if there are 20 people and 10 conversations going on (no music) the sounds bounce off the walls, floor and ceiling and attack you.

    I don’t care how many crystal chandeliers the wedding hall hangs, if they don’t spend on sound deadening materials guests cannot enjoy themselves.
    When invited to simchas as such venues, we are apt to just mail our regrets and a check, rather than suffer all evening. B”H non of our relatives use these halls so we are not really obligated to attend when invited.

    FREE legal advice to baalei simcha. No contract as presented by a vendor has to be signed as is, you can negotiate every point. It’s your money and if it’s important to you, don’t be bullied by the vendor.

    #1354582
    Solomon the Wise
    Participant

    As a professional musician both one man band and full band,
    I would like to set the record straight. I agree 100% that music at weddings is often way too loud, and I strive to keep the music at a comfortable and safe volume level. However, it is not always the choice of the musicians per say. Most bands have a sound technician. It’s up to the sound technician to ensure that there is Good quality sound, and that the volume is not too high. In fact, it’s impossible for the musicians to determine how loud the music is throughout the hall, as it sounds totally different on the bandstand then it does on the dance floor. We place our trust in the sound technician, and are completely at his Mercy in terms of sound for better or for worse. In addition, many of the halls were built with a design that although aesthetically looks nice, allows for terrible acoustics. This can create a logistical nightmare for bands as the volume will inevitably be too loud (as well as muddled).
    I find it offensive that people look at musicians as being “the enemy” when in reality they have put hours and hours of time into preparing for the wedding in order to create an enjoyable and happy atmosphere for the Chossons, kallah, and their guests. I happily accept feedback regarding volume, song style etc. But I do not appreciate it at all when people come over with threats about not paying based on volume level or style before the music even began (believe it or not this has happened)!!

    #1354603
    yehudayona
    Participant

    jakob, I’ve been to plenty of chasunahs where there are tables right near the speakers. But that’s not so relevant because the band cranks up the volume to ear-splitting levels for the dancing, which is usually near the speakers.

    bplady, cotton balls are pretty useless. You need good-quality earplugs. I recommend the Flents Quiet Contour Foam earplugs.

    Hoping for Brisk, how does he know in advance whether the band will be too loud?

    #1354619
    Meno
    Participant

    At my wedding my father walked around handing out ear plugs.

    And then of course no one ended up needing them because the band was so awesome.

    #1354625
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    The reason musicians turn up the volume is because the bochurim like it that way, and they’re trying to get some to book them for their chasunas.

    #1354636
    Joseph
    Participant

    Except that, like CTL pointed out, the musicians don’t work for the bochorim. They musicians are employees of the baalei simcha.

    #1354677
    CTLAWYER
    Participant

    Thank you Joseph………………………

    The YW (and rest of the Frum world) must refocus on the fact that a chasunah is about the chasson and kallah and their parents and what they want. It is not about the bochurim, the vendors, etc.

    We don’t tolerate bad behavior from our children and don’t have to tolerate defiance from our suppliers. If every Baal Hasimcha just started to put his foot down, things would start to get under control. Louder and excess does not mean better.

    #1354955
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    How is he supposed to tell the band to lower the volume if the band doesn’t hear him?

    #1355764
    bplady
    Participant

    yehudayon, thanks for the tip. I went to Amazon and bought it. I will b’n keep some in my wedding bag for next time when I go , and give them out b’n.

    #1356042
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Well when I get married I’ll make sure whoever does the music knows what a safe level is. I’ll find someone knowledgeable in the area and known for playing at safe levels…

    You’re all invited! Now I just need to find a chassan….

    #1356049
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    It is the musicians’ fault. They can tell the sound technician to stop.
    (Loud music is worse than no music.)

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