Make sure it's right

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  • September 26, 2011 12:15 am at 12:15 am #599616
    sm29
    Participant

    before marrying, make sure you are both right for each other. A marriage can be challenging sometimes, and if the two are not right for each other, then they won’t be able to withstand the challenges. we need to pause and think, do I want to spend everyday with this person, even when things are challenging, like financial things etc. If you both feel sure about this, then go foward.

    I thought I was sure, but it turned out i wasn’t. So I’m not engaged anymore. better now BH, rather than later.

    This is Not to say that we should be very picky. There’s no perfect people and we shouldn’t look for that, only someone that mostly fits what we want/need. The rest, the two can learn to comprimise with certain things so the couple can both enjoy themselves.

    September 26, 2011 2:52 am at 2:52 am #812813
    Peacemaker
    Member

    Hi sm29, Would you be comfortable sharing a) what made you originally think you were right for each other and b) only later realize that wasn’t the case?

    Hatzlacha

    September 26, 2011 2:58 am at 2:58 am #812814
    aries2756
    Participant

    I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you, but very happy that you found out early enough before it did any damage. Hatzlocha!

    September 26, 2011 8:19 am at 8:19 am #812815
    sm29
    Participant

    Peace, we had things in common, we’re compatable, we felt a connection. We worked on projects together. But there were certain challenges along the way. At first I felt that I care enough about him and we’ll make it through together. But things kept piling up like his mother;s pressure on us about something as one example. I felt a tug of war. Part of me wanted to marry him and part of me didn’t. He noticed this and was concerned that I wouldn’t be happy. So he told me that he feels it’s best if we separate now. I agree that it’s for the best.

    I know every relationship has challenges. But I need someone that I;m willing to go through life with them unconditionally.

    September 26, 2011 8:24 am at 8:24 am #812816
    sm29
    Participant

    Aries, thanks

    September 26, 2011 1:41 pm at 1:41 pm #812817
    yungerman1
    Participant

    If you find yourself saying before or during engament “its nothing, and wont bother me after we are married” or “why does that bother me, its not such a big deal” I suggest you dont keep it to yourself and discuss it with a Rov or professional shadchan.

    September 26, 2011 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #812818
    sm29
    Participant

    I guess I know for next time

    September 26, 2011 9:12 pm at 9:12 pm #812819
    adorable
    Participant

    u sound really good and really at peace about it. its good that he cared enough to end it nicely and not make it into a sticky situation. may the right one come around very soon.

    September 27, 2011 7:19 am at 7:19 am #812820
    sm29
    Participant

    thanks amen

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