Making your kids pay for a cleaning lady

Home Forums Family Matters Making your kids pay for a cleaning lady

Viewing 46 posts - 1 through 46 (of 46 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #616681
    FrozenThaw
    Member

    I know someone who works about 6-20 hours a week. Their work hours fluctuate and they are a full time student post high school who is responsible and spends at least 40-50 hours doing school work per week. Is it fair for their parents to make them pay for a cleaning lady if the house they live in is extremely large given the number of people who live there (has like four living room type areas seven bedrooms kitchen and three bathrooms, over half an acre of land)? They are constantly exhausted.

    #1113416
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Being an adult ain’t what it used to be.

    #1113417
    Joseph
    Participant

    The parents should charge him room and board.

    #1113418
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Definitely not fair to hire a cleaning lady and then not pay her.

    #1113419
    555
    Participant

    If you are asking about a post high school girl. The parents are last they should’ve started to train her 5 yrs ago (the latest).

    why should anybody think they deserve to live rent free. If she is old enough to earn money she should pay for expenses.

    If she does not want to she should move out. Is she 18 already?

    #1113420
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    im thinking this thread makes absolutely no sense but until someone ties it into zionism i will consider it an oasis…

    #1113421
    apushatayid
    Participant

    Some yellow police do not cross tape is a lot cheaper. Cordon off half the house. If people question the tape you could blame it on Zionists at the very least modern Orthodox.

    #1113422
    555
    Participant

    Syag: 🙂

    #1113423
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    im thinking this thread makes absolutely no sense but until someone ties it into zionism i will consider it an oasis…

    Now that makes sense. It’s a moshol for zionism.

    The zionists live in klal yisroel’s land, and have the gall to complain when asked to pick up part of klal yisroel’s expenses.

    #1113424
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    <hands over ears, running away>

    AHHHHHHH!!!!

    #1113425
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    It’s a moshol for zionism. The zionists live in klal yisroel’s land, and have the gall to complain when asked to pick up part of klal yisroel’s expenses.

    Brilliant.

    #1113426
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    I think it sounds reasonable. Either the child helps, or pays for help. If they are old enough to get married, they should be mature enough to chip in and help without being asked.

    #1113427
    FrozenThaw
    Member

    your talking about someone who can clean, would love to but is a full time college student has an extremely big house and nobody will help them clean. No siblings live there. student is struggling in school and is working.

    #1113428
    555
    Participant

    Torah: Do you really believe a child cannot help before they are old enough to get married???

    #1113429
    wannabegood7
    Participant

    absolutely not!!! y should she pay????

    #1113430
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    FrozenThaw: It’s still fair. Just think of how much money you are saving in rent.

    You sound like a Zionist to me.

    #1113431
    apushatayid
    Participant

    The government should pay. In fact i think it is already a provisionb in obamacare; that for all children over 18 living at home a cleaning help stipend of no less than $15 an hr will be provided.

    #1113432
    Mammele
    Participant

    Apy: typical liberal spending Obama, no cap on the number of hours…

    #1113433
    555
    Participant

    Where does Obama come in here?

    #1113434
    Mammele
    Participant

    In response to APY’s Obamacare joke. But I guess if I need to explain my joke it’s not funny…

    #1113435
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    It’s a moshol about obama and zionism.

    #1113436
    son
    Member

    Now that makes sense. It’s a moshol for zionism.

    The zionists live in klal yisroel’s land, and have the gall to complain when asked to pick up part of klal yisroel’s expenses.

    No no, it’s about the chareidim; they’re not sharing the burden and the OP is a masmid who isn’t clear about joining/not joining the army!

    #1113437
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    A good compromise is having the post high school girl make sure her room is clean, the area she works in is clean. To be responsible for her messes. When she uses something she puts it away, when she works in the kitchen she cleans up after herself. When she involves in a project/or does something with other family members such as eats dinner, plays a game-she cleans up heer share.

    What is this need for a cleaning lady?!? She should also have to pitch in a bit on shabbos to clean up after the younger ones since that’s when she has a it of a break. Shabbos is long enough to pitch in for an hour or two and get in extra sleep in the USA

    #1113438
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Shopping,, I think taking care of your own stuff is pretty basic. The OP says their parents want additional help for the general household.

    #1113439
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Hurry its almost midnight!

    #1113440
    Joseph
    Participant

    Girls living at home should be the cleaning lady.

    #1113441
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Joe you remind me of the orphanage master in Oliver Twist.

    #1113442
    555
    Participant

    She’s probably OO and saving her energy to do the cleaning in the ???”? .

    #1113443
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Well if she is that busy why should she be pitching in for other people. The way I see it if she pitches in her share than it’s fine. What if she didn’t live at home? There would still be the same ammount of work and the mom would have to pay for a cleaning lady anyway. If she’s pitching in enough that her presence isn’t adding to the balagan so it doesn’t matter!!!

    #1113444
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Girls living at home can’t be cleaning ladies. Only ladies can be cleaning ladies.

    #1113445
    Mammele
    Participant

    Shopping: the issue seems to me that her parents (no younger kids at this point) have a bigger house than they can afford to easily maintain and are probably not so young either. For whatever reason they choose to continue living in this huge home but need their daugter?s help. Apparently she’s not paying for utilities, food or rent and although the house is a burden it definitely seems comfortable so she’s benefitting greatly.

    The real questions are how much money are we talking about and how much is she earning? Are her parents paying for her schooling? I don’t have all information so I could be wrong but it seems to me she’s getting a great deal and some hakoras hatov is in order.

    #1113446
    Joseph
    Participant

    I never heard of Jewish daughters who don’t help out cleaning the house once they’re old enough to help out.

    #1113447
    Hashemisreading
    Participant

    My parents live by me now. I’m thinking they should pay for my cleaning lady..

    #1113448
    Mammele
    Participant

    Joseph: she actually said “They are constantly exhausted.” Which I assumed meant she is pitching in but because the house is HUGE it’s just never enough and they need hired help as well. Read the OP again to get a better idea.

    #1113449
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    But it’s not her responsibility. If they are 3 adults living in a huge house they shouldn’t be making such a big mess. It seems like most of the rooms aren’t normally in use so it doesn’t make a difference if she lives at home or not.

    #1113450
    555
    Participant

    “student is struggling in school and is working.”

    Maybe switch majors.

    #1113451
    apushatayid
    Participant

    Just curious, why is everyone assuming the student at home is female? The OP has never once said this overworked student is a female.

    #1113452
    apushatayid
    Participant

    “They are constantly exhausted.”

    The parents? This might be a question for a Rav as hilchos kibbud av are involved.

    #1113453
    Joseph
    Participant

    apy: See my first comment above (third on the thread.)

    #1113454
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    The OP’s use of the singular “they” indicates that they do not wish to disclose the gender of the student. Everyone else thinks this is because the OP doesn’t want to say because it’s not tznius. But it’s perfectly tznius to talk about men.

    #1113455
    FrozenThaw
    Member

    The only household chores I do not think are tznius for women are mowing the lawn or snow shoveling. Taking out the garbage has no tznius issues or recycling.

    #1113456
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Taking ut the garbage involves issues in a possibility in getting dirty.

    #1113457
    apushatayid
    Participant

    Joseph,

    So, there are several ambiguities here.

    1: Who is tired, the parents or child, or both. Perhaps this impacts the question in some way.

    2: Is the child male or female (although for the halachos of kibbud av, I dont know if that makes a difference but Im not an expert in those halachos).

    #1113458
    FrozenThaw
    Member

    But taking out the garbage does not take a significant amount of time unless you are a cleaning lady in a hotel with 500 rooms and you are responsible for all of them or you are responsible taking out all of the garbage in a skyscraper like the Empire State building.

    #1113459
    Joseph
    Participant

    The daughter should definitely be taking out the garbage.

    #1113460
    Mammele
    Participant

    Frozen Thaw: stop “playing us”. Your question seemed legitimate at first but it appears that you don’t have a problem of not having enough time (to clean) but have too much time on your hands… (And yes I know you were supposedly asking about someone else.)

    Otherwise why can’t you answer the questions posed to you like a mensch?

Viewing 46 posts - 1 through 46 (of 46 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.