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- This topic has 23 replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 5 months ago by myls87.
October 3, 2012 1:50 am at 1:50 am #605030
I’ve been doing a lot of introspection lately & there are just some facts in my life that don’t “add up”. I know that we’re not supposed to know the reason for why certain things happen, and to have faith that it is all for our good. Logically that all makes sense, however on an emotional level this has been the cause of some undue anxiety.
I have been thinking perhaps it may be a good idea to pay a visit to a makubal…
Any thoughts? Suggestions? (Serious posters only please)
Thank you in advance.October 3, 2012 1:52 am at 1:52 am #899516popa_bar_abbaParticipant
My serious suggestion is to stay far away from any mekubal. Read “Faith and Folly” by Rav Yaakov Hillel.October 3, 2012 9:06 am at 9:06 am #899517ChortkovParticipant
A friend of mine was going into a ?????, and an angry American stormed out of the room.
“Don’t go in there, he’s crazy!!” Said the American.
“I asked him for a blessing to have children, and he said ‘Bugger off, Bugger off, bugger off!'”
“No, no,” MY friend said: “He meant ?????, ?????, ?????!!!!”October 3, 2012 3:04 pm at 3:04 pm #899518
No one mourns
There are many reasons that bad things happen to a person. The first avenue to check is to see that your observance is in line. Also make sure you are careful with the big ones like Shabbos, Kashrus, Taharas Hamishpacha, tzedaka…October 5, 2012 4:51 am at 4:51 am #899519candy613Member
I had a teacher who always said that they are called mekubalim- ki heym mikubalim kesef! bad joke but the point is that to some of them out there, it would be extremely not smart to go to them. If you do decide to go to one research well, and do not go unless you know there is someone you respect and trust who is ok with the guy. There are very few are far between who actually are the real thing…
I wish you Hatzlacha!!! May all go smoothlyOctober 5, 2012 5:13 am at 5:13 am #899520CuriosityParticipant
I spoke to a mekubal from the lineage of the famous Abuchatzera family once. He is a Rosh Yeshiva in Israel, but is recognized as a mekubal. His advice to me was learn hard and daven hard and Hashem will help. People go with all these fantastic expectations from mekubalim, but that’s not what Kaballah is about. Kaballah is basically an explanation to the “mechanics” of the spiritual realm in which we exist. Understanding the spiritual helps us understand the physical, but generally speaking the derech stays the same. Do what Hashem requests of you, and have bitachon that everything will work out for the best.October 5, 2012 8:11 pm at 8:11 pm #899521
Thank you all for your input. I will hold off and do some more introspection/cheshbon hanefesh.
Good Shabbos!October 7, 2012 3:13 am at 3:13 am #899522oomisParticipant
Always be introspective. Give your excess money to tzedaka, not mekubalim.October 7, 2012 3:44 am at 3:44 am #899523djgMember
I would recommend reading “Garden of Emunah”, by Rabbi Shalom Arush, it has been a great help to me personally.October 7, 2012 11:32 am at 11:32 am #899524myls87Member
Garden of emunah is excellent. So is the essence of emuna by Rav Gamliel Rabinovich. There is a Hebrew and English version depending on your preference.October 12, 2012 9:21 pm at 9:21 pm #899525
I hear that book is good, but I’m so cynical towards these types of readings that I try to stay away from it rather than going ahead, reading it, and then becoming even more agitated…
Is it that type of read?October 14, 2012 12:38 am at 12:38 am #899526groisnachesMember
“Also make sure you are careful with the big ones like Shabbos, Kashrus, Taharas Hamishpacha, tzedaka…”
If life and death and good and bad were doled out based solely on our actions, we wouldnt deserve any reward for the good we do, because it would be self-serving.
What about Tzadik v’Ra lo and Rasha v’Tov lo?
Sometimes were urged to observe past our individual limits and at the end of the day, it lessens our observance and belief, not increases it.
Its like telling a child “Be good annd you’ll get your lolly”. How good is good enough? There are people who go mad hoping that if they continuously improve, their dreams will be realized and then they are not. This sometimes pushes them totally off, mentally and religiously. Not good.October 14, 2012 1:17 am at 1:17 am #899527
I went to a Mekubal. He said I have Yiras Shamayim and shouldn’t worry about shidduchim.October 14, 2012 2:24 am at 2:24 am #899528
Well if one doesn’t keep the Torah properly then it is likely bad things will befall him, if someone is not keeping the Torah and bad things are not befalling him it is because he is so far gone (at least he has no interest of ever changing although there’s always the chance to do Teshuva) that Hashem is giving him his reward on this world or he is getting reward based on zechus avos or something.
I am not discussing the ultimate reward for mitzvos which is in Olam Haba but there is a certain good life that Hashem promises to those who keep the Torah properly. Nobody says this is easy but those who keep the Torah properly and try hard usually have a generally good life. I am not saying there arent exceptions and obviously there is Tzadik v’Ra lo but it takes a lot to be on the madreiga of being a “Tzadik” that we should apply this to him.
“How good is good enough? There are people who go mad hoping that if they continuously improve, their dreams will be realized and then they are not. This sometimes pushes them totally off, mentally and religiously. Not good.”
I dont know how good good enough is, but people today have set very low standards of good. There are many people walking around thinking they are good Jews because they do some things right. That doesnt make you a good Jew. If you do aveiros on a regular basis, things that you know you shouldnt do but dont try to change, or things that you dont know you shouldnt do because you never open a sefer you arent a good Jew. And for all the people who think they are wonderful but their wives and daughters dress like I dont want to say what you arent a good Jew and if you wife and children generally arent keeping the Torah they should and you havent tried to help the situation or allowed it to happen you arent a good Jew.
So being good means keeping the Torah, all of it, or rather whatever mitzvos are still applicable from the 613 bizman Hazeh. But the truth is its not enough to keep the mitzvos, they also need to be done with a positive attitude. Hashem doesnt need anyones “favors” and Hashem has no need for mitzvos done by rote or worse, with an “attitude” or in a bored disinterested fashion.
Being a Torah Jew requires a lot of effort and study, so no its not easy, but it is required by Hashem, that is what he wants. He didnt say “only do the ones you feel like doing” they are all binding and obligatory. However if someone is a Baal Teshuvah or went off the derech and is coming back obviously it needs to be done gradually, but for everyone else you gotta keep all of it to the best of your abilities.October 14, 2012 4:05 am at 4:05 am #899530
“I went to a Mekubal. He said I have Yiras Shamayim and shouldn’t worry about shidduchim.”
Without meaning to offend the mekubal or yourself…doesn’t that kind’ve seem like a cop out way of talking to you? I could meet someone randomly and say the same thing…?October 14, 2012 5:17 am at 5:17 am #899531
No one mourns the wicked – Well, I was satisfied with the experience.
Another mekubal I went to told me to work on Kibud Av Va’Eim as a zechus for shidduchim. He told my sister the same thing. I think it’s the one thing parents won’t call him complaining about.October 14, 2012 6:01 am at 6:01 am #899532
I dont know which Mekubal you went to but if a legitimate Mekubal said you are a Yiras shomayim thats a big deal. Just dont let it get you your head but its very chashuv.October 14, 2012 6:13 am at 6:13 am #899533groisnachesMember
WIY: “but for everyone else you gotta keep all of it to the best of your abilities”.
So you and I agree that different people, at different ages and points in their life, from different backgrounds, different families, the list of differences goes on, etc.. may not be able to observe all Halachos in the same manner.
A whole nation cant be poured into a mold to get identical resuts.October 14, 2012 12:26 pm at 12:26 pm #899534goldersgreenerParticipant
There was once a fellow who went to a mekubal and said that he has no children, and can he please have a brocha.
The mekubal asked him for $10,000 and promised that he will have a child within the year, and that he should call the mekubal to be sandak.
Surely enough, a year later, the fellow comes to invite the mekubal to a bris that will take place the next morning at 9:00, and is mechabed the mekubal with sandaka’us.
At 10:00 the next morning, two sefardim coming shlepping the mekubal’s chair, and he follows a short itme later. After a few minutes he looks round at the beautifully prerpared hall, and asks what they are waiting for.
The father answers ”we are waiting for the baby.”
Ten minutes later the question and answer repeat itself.
Eventually, the mekubal, unused to being made to wait, leams over to the father and says, ”Tagid li, eifoh hatinok”?
The father answers, “k’vod HoRav, zeh mah she’uni shoi’el oitcha.”October 14, 2012 12:29 pm at 12:29 pm #899535
WIY I think the mekubal tells you what you want to hear. Apparently I didn’t pay enough to get more than one compliment. But you seem like a really nice person and that was a nice thing to say.October 14, 2012 1:17 pm at 1:17 pm #899536mommamia22Participant
Do you actually believe that the thousands upon thousands of men and women who are single for years on end have no yiras shamayim??
If only it were so simple.October 14, 2012 4:22 pm at 4:22 pm #899537golferParticipant
Mommamia, I’m not sure what Torah 613 meant. Maybe the Mekubal wanted to say that his Yiras Shamayim will help him face the challenges in his life, such as being an older single. Chas V’Shalom anyone should think that people who have not been successful in finding their zivug, or people who face any misfortune or tragedy, are lacking in yiras Shamayim! Life is not simple at all, and the challenges that are tailor made for every person are unfathomable.October 14, 2012 7:44 pm at 7:44 pm #899538
Mommamia – I think we have a different sense of humor. Is it really not clear from my posts that I do not take this seriously?
May you and your family and posters on this website who are looking find their zivugim bkarov and build batim neemanim bYisrael. And everyone else who may read this.October 15, 2012 10:58 am at 10:58 am #899539myls87Member
@ Torah613. The rav who told you about the kibud av vaem is truly special and unique. He is a mekubal who does not do “freaky” things. He will simply tell you to work on the basics like halacha and minyan but the honoring your parents segula, he brings down in his seforim many times.
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