January 21, 2013 8:37 pm at 8:37 pm #607881
Some people wonder, what’s a good age for people to marry? A good age is when they feel mature enough to take on the responsibility. Some people might pressure individuals to just go ahead. But people really have to be mentally and emotionally ready to take that step. Some people mature quicker than others and can do it fine. Others, need more time to figure things out and grow, before going ahead. People, especially young individuals, need to understand it’s not fun and games, it’s a process of working on commitment and devotion to each other. If one doesn’t totally comprehend that yet, then it’s better for them to wait until the right time. – If they are being pressured that it’s harder when they are older, they should try to have bitachon that the right one will come at the right time.January 22, 2013 1:38 am at 1:38 am #923146HaLeiViParticipant
Antoninus’ daughter got married at six and bemoned the fact that wasted three years in her father’s house, sinse she could have married at three.January 22, 2013 2:14 am at 2:14 am #923147akupermaParticipant
If people waited until they were mature enough to get married, they would be too old to have children. Therefore we must accept that for some reason Ha-Shem wants children to get married while they still are acting like children. If Ha-Shem wanted people to be mature adults when they got married, puberty would be about 40, and childbearing would be at the age we typically are becoming grandparents.January 22, 2013 3:24 am at 3:24 am #923148HaLeiViParticipant
In fact there is a good argument to be made to the contrary. If both are teens, they will be getting married during a very powerful bonding period. They are both not fully hardened in their ways and can grow together. When older people get married it is harder for them to bend personalities.
I overheard someone saying that for his daughters he looked specifically for boys who are not mature. (I think he succeeded.) It surely sounded weird to me, but it has some merit.January 22, 2013 3:31 am at 3:31 am #923149susheeMember
Chazal give good advice. (On this matter, as all matters.)January 22, 2013 3:57 am at 3:57 am #923150
All well and good, but you people aren’t the ones dealing with sholom bayis issues. Those who do (at least in the American Yeshivishe velt) recommend that the boy be at least 22 (obviously there may be exceptions).January 22, 2013 5:53 am at 5:53 am #923151
while yes it’s good for people to marry young, like in their 20’s when they have an easier time becoming pregnant, and they are Not set in their ways yet like older people. But younger than that like teens is not the best for everyone. While it’s good for some, others are not ready to make that commitment. For example, they might still have the party attitude and Not take things seriously, like staying out late with friends and upsetting their husband/wife, and other issues. People are not as mature as they use to be.January 22, 2013 10:14 pm at 10:14 pm #923152ShiraTobalaMember
The Torah says that girls dont need to get married. But, boys have a Chiuv to get married. The Torah says boys should get married by 18. Yes, what your saying is a good idea. But, at the same time why not get married and have kids and have them serve Hashem and do His Mitzvos?! I like the idea about people getting married at a young age then they have more kids doing more mitzvos!!January 23, 2013 2:48 am at 2:48 am #923153dhl144Member
I am twenty one i went out with one girl and decided even before the first date that if she is not the right girl i am going to wait a while before i continue.
I will be twenty two on may thirteenth.
My parent said that I should start dating this summer…I dont think I want to yet…WHy start so early I am in no rush…My zivug isn’t running away…although if she is desperate I wouldnt want to cause her pain of course….WHat do you have to say yeshiva world?January 23, 2013 3:16 am at 3:16 am #923154DaMosheParticipant
dhl: Wow, we share a birthday (although not the same year, I’m quite a bit older than you!)January 23, 2013 4:39 am at 4:39 am #923155yeshivishaguy in freezerMember
the chofetz chaim shita is 23-24 for a boyJanuary 23, 2013 7:43 am at 7:43 am #923156HaQerMember
Men have a mitzvah of pru urvu so don’t want to marry a girl who is 40. Also, they have issues of hirhurim so shouldn’t wait until they are older themselves.
It could be that it is better for men to get married younger and struggle through a few years of marriage until they mature in order to avoid hirhurim. That being said, if they are at a point where they are still so immature that there is a high chance of the marriage ending in divorce then obviously that would defeat the point.
sm29, I’m wondering, are you speaking from experience as someone who got married young/old? Were you born in 1929 or are you just perpetually 29 years old? 🙂January 23, 2013 3:29 pm at 3:29 pm #923157
My zivug isn’t running away…
There are many possibilities of who to marry. You probably won’t marry the girl whose (father’s) name was in the bas kol.January 24, 2013 4:59 am at 4:59 am #923158
HaQer, lol,:) I like that, that’s cute. I wasn’t born in 1929, Nor am I 29 but early thirties. I had experience dating someone who was divorced. His ex-wife wasn’t serious their marriage and it didn’t work with them. Then he went off, but came back some-what. I also heard things about some others marrying young and it didn’t work.
Of course, there are many where it does work, and if they feel ready to make the commitmant, good. But if they are not ready, they shouldn’t be pushed.January 24, 2013 6:44 am at 6:44 am #923159
People are not as mature as they use to be.
Well, then they’d better get married right away before they turn into babies!
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