Marrying a Good Wife

They’re all taken due to the shidduch crisis.

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reverse shidduch crisis?

But no, because the Midrash Rabbah says: (daat)

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bpt – never caustic:

This story was recomended by Tzippi in another thread, and she is right; it should be required reading for chassanim and married folks alike. (Posted below, l’toeles ha’rabim)

~~JOHNNY LINGO’S 8-COW WIFE~~

condensed from Woman’s Day Patricia McGerr

“Get Johnny Lingo to help you find what you want and let him do the bargaining,” advised Shenkin. “Johnny knows how to make a deal.”

“Johnny Lingo! A boy seated nearby hooted the name and rocked with laughter.

“What goes on?” I demanded. “everybody tells me to get in touch with Johnny Lingo and then breaks up. Let me in on the joke.”

“Oh, the people like to laugh,” Shenkin said, shruggingly. “Johnny’s the brightest, the strongest young man in the islands, And for his age, the richest.”

“Only one thing. Five months ago, at fall festival, Johnny came to Kiniwata and found himself a wife. He paid her father eight cows!

“Never been paid before.”

“I said it would be kindness to call her plain. She was skinny. She walked with her shoulders hunched and her head ducked. She was scared of her own shadow.”

“But how?”

“Yes.”

“They speak of me on that island?”

He smiled gently. “My wife is from Kiniwata.”

“Yes, I know.”

“They speak of her?”

“A little.”

“What do they say?”

“Why, just…” The question caught me off balance. “They told me you were married at festival time.”

“Nothing more?” The curve of his eyebrows told me he knew there had to be more.

They also say the marriage settlement was eight cows.” I paused.

“They wonder why.”

“They ask that?” His eyes lightened with pleasure. “Everyone in Kiniwata knows about the eight cows?”

I nodded.

“And in Nurabandi everyone knows it too.” His chest expanded with satisfaction. “Always and forever, when they speak of marriage settlements, it will be remembered that Johnny Lingo paid eight cows for Sarita.”

“You think eight cows were too many?” A smile slid over his lips. “No. But how can she be so different?”

“Do you ever think,” he asked, “what it must mean to a woman to know that her husband has settled on the lowest price for which she can be bought? And then later, when the women talk, they boast of what their husbands paid for them. One says four cows, another maybe six. How does she feel, the woman who was sold for one or two?” This could not happen to my Sarita.”

“Then you did this just to make your wife happy?”

“I wanted Sarita to be happy, yes. But I wanted more than that. You say she is different This is true. Many things can change a woman. Things that happen inside, things that happen outside. But the thing that matters most is what she thinks about herself. In Kiniwata, Sarita believed she was worth nothing. Now she knows she is worth more than any other woman in the islands.” “Then you wanted -“

“I wanted to marry Sarita. I loved her and no other woman.”

“But,” he finished softly, “I wanted an eight-cow wife.”

Posted 2 years ago #

How about an 8 wife cow? I bet a cow that cost 8 wives would taste might good on a july 4 bbq.

Popa, I’m still rolling

… but Popa… who’s gonna wash the dishes?!

Curiosity, those men gonna eat those steaks sizzling right off the grill.

No womenfolk around, no dishes.