June 15, 2018 1:16 pm at 1:16 pm #1540485JosephParticipant
What is the Torah hashkafa on money being a factor in whom you marry?June 15, 2018 1:58 pm at 1:58 pm #15406141Participant
It’s called life. You need money to pay for things. Utimately, Hashem is the one who decides how much you get and where it’s coming from. It’s a very big factor. The politically correct marriage therapist/shadchan crowd will try to make believe that it’s not there. It’s a factor. It could be manifested in a number of ways: does man have a job or in school to pursue a medical or law degree? Does he plan on learning in Kollel. The check won’t pay for your utilities, rent, or food. In that case, does she have a job or do both or one family have the money to support this?June 15, 2018 1:58 pm at 1:58 pm #1540615mazal77Participant
As a quote I once heard, “those who marry for money, will soon lose nterest”June 15, 2018 2:37 pm at 2:37 pm #1540631Reb EliezerParticipant
Money can be a factor but not the main factor.June 15, 2018 2:54 pm at 2:54 pm #1540643PhilParticipant
Are your three wives no longer supporting you in the manner to which you’ve become accustomed?June 15, 2018 3:55 pm at 3:55 pm #1540645JosephParticipant
1. If money being a factor is a correct approach, does this inhibit the marriage prospects of aniyim (the poor) in Klal Yisroel?
2. From a personal perspective would you reject a shidduch for yourself or your children, or consider it a big minus when considering the shidduch, if the potential shidduch candidate is poor?
3. Do you believe that it is appropriate to specifically seek a shidduch with someone from a wealthy or upper-middle class family?June 15, 2018 5:14 pm at 5:14 pm #1540655Takes2-2tangoParticipant
It says sheker hachen v’hevel hayofee. No mention of kesef or mamon, so maybe joseph has a point after all (not)June 15, 2018 6:00 pm at 6:00 pm #1540671DovidBTParticipant
If there is no flour, there is no Torah.
Avos 3:21June 16, 2018 10:09 pm at 10:09 pm #1540684WolfishMusingsParticipant
כָּל אַהֲבָה שֶׁהִיא תְלוּיָה בְדָבָר, בָּטֵל דָּבָר, בְּטֵלָה אַהֲבָה. וְשֶׁאֵינָהּ תְּלוּיָה בְדָבָר, אֵינָהּ בְּטֵלָה לְעוֹלָם.
The WolfJune 16, 2018 10:10 pm at 10:10 pm #1540688TheFakeMavenParticipant
The Torah Hashkafah as to this matter is stated clearly in Even HaEzer 2:1.June 16, 2018 10:11 pm at 10:11 pm #1540694jew boy2Participant
A GITTEN EREV SHABBOS!!!June 16, 2018 11:37 pm at 11:37 pm #1540759SolaroParticipant
כל הנושא אשה לשום ממון הווין לו בנים שאינם מהוגנים -Kiddushin 70aJune 18, 2018 3:50 pm at 3:50 pm #1541650Midwest2Participant
I second the Wolf and Solaro. And it isn’t just by Yidden, either.
I know plenty of people who devoted their lives to chinuch, not worrying about money, and found they had trouble marrying off their daughters because they could’t offer support. To quote one person, “How could HaShem be punishing me for doing what’s right?” And yet there is a real problem. The mothers of the boys, who think their precious son has a right to sit in kollel and be supported into old age (or are afraid to tell their friends that the kallah’s father can’t afford it), refuse to hear shidduchim unless they see the big bucks. And so, as Solaro says, the grandchildren have problems. The OTD problem has more than one root, and I think this may be one of them.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.