Marrying Within A Chasidus
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- This topic has 13 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 3 months ago by The Great Bear of Creedmoor.
February 10, 2012 3:34 pm at 3:34 pm #602003susheeMember
Which Chasidus’ (if any – I heard possibly Belz) are makpid to only marry within the Chasidus? How makpid are they about this inyan? And why?February 10, 2012 4:41 pm at 4:41 pm #850904mytakeMember
Within almost every chassidus you will find those who are makpid to marry davka within their chassidus, and those who have different priorities in shidduchim. I know such people in Belz, Skvere, Satmar, Viznitz, Bobov, and Pupa.
Many times these families are extremely involved in the chassidus (davening strictly in the Rebbe’s shul, attending every tish and rebbishe simcha…). It’s hard to imagine an “outsider” integrating into such a family when life is centered around the Rebbe, the shul, the mosod, etc. It only makes sense that they stick to their own crowd.February 10, 2012 4:42 pm at 4:42 pm #850905mytakeMember
How makpid are they about this inyan?
It’s fair to say that in some families it’s a deal breaker.February 10, 2012 8:05 pm at 8:05 pm #850906greatestMember
It’s a lot more common that a Chosid will be makpid to marry within the broader World of Chasidus than be makpid to marry within a specific chasidus.February 12, 2012 6:08 am at 6:08 am #850907RABBAIMParticipant
Why not?? It decreases the things the young coupe has to get used to and it increases Hashkafic compatibility!February 12, 2012 8:44 am at 8:44 am #850908babygooseParticipant
I don’t know about an extreme hakpadah in this inyan. but IMHO, stick to your crouds more then less.
it’s pretty hard to adjust to an entirely different way of life.
as open minded as you are, and as much as you think you know about that community, untill you become part of them, you really don’t know much about their values.February 12, 2012 11:23 am at 11:23 am #850909apushatayidParticipant
Ask shadchanim how prevalent this is in the non chassidish world too. That yeshiva? That shul? Dress like that? Have hanhaga X? By chassidim its easy to tie a neat bow around it by calling it “not our chassidus”. By non chassidim it is a little sloppier with the more generic “not our type”.February 12, 2012 1:44 pm at 1:44 pm #850910susheeMember
Do real Lubavitchers often marry out? They are very different than all other chasidus’ and in many ways very unique from anyone else. Almost a culture clash.February 12, 2012 2:43 pm at 2:43 pm #850911Ananas12Member
Not marrying within the chassidus would maybe solve the shidduch crisis …February 12, 2012 5:32 pm at 5:32 pm #850912dash™Participant
Why not?? It decreases the things the young coupe has to get used to and it increases Hashkafic compatibility!
A smaller gene pool also increases the chances for recessive genetic diseases.February 12, 2012 5:43 pm at 5:43 pm #850913
Lubavitchers marry only within Chabad or, especially in EY, France and Canada a generation ago, to graduates of Chabad girls’ schools who may have their own (usually North African or Yemeni) minhagim but who are familiar with Chabad and willing to change. Even 2 generations ago, it was not completely unheard of for a Chabad bochur from Russia to marry a girl whose parents came from Yemen.
Ger marries only Ger, vehamayvin yavin. It is a tough life for someone from outside to get accustomed to.
Satmar and Pupa are meshadech to one another. Smaller chassidus’n are meshadech to the ones most similar to them. Rebbeish families marry into other rebbeish families – the Rebbeim of Satmar, Bobov, Belz, Vizhnitz and Lubavitch are all related through Reb Aron by marriage (all but Belz would be related to his children by blood). The Twerskis of Milwaukee, BP, Pennsylvania etc (Hornestipol) are all related to the Bobover rebbeim as well. I think the rule in Skvere is that only men who went through their system can live in NS, but a kallah from outside is welcome. Please check me on that.
The kallah always takes on her new husband’s minhagim (which I think is halacha).
Oh, and Creedmoor just does things Reverend Moon style – reams of marriage licenses followed by divorces depending on which benefits programs the phantom couple are registered for.February 12, 2012 8:26 pm at 8:26 pm #850914RABBAIMParticipant
The shidduch crisis is a litvish- Yeshivish problem, no a chassidishe one.February 13, 2012 9:30 am at 9:30 am #850915babygooseParticipant
oh well Rabbaim.
so maybe you can explain to me why i see SO MANY older boys and gilrs roaming around in Chassidishe Borough Park?
i don’t think that’s true.February 13, 2012 4:22 pm at 4:22 pm #850917
Pls delete the above. It really belongs in a different thread where I reposted it.
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